So the the grass belonging to the OW wasn't really greener then was it?!

[jemimathecat]

This is light hearted post but I just wanted to hear if there were any stories out there where your partner/spouse went off with the OW and the grass suddenly turned to mud?!!
After being deeply hurt, I now find myself chuckling when I think of the ex (mid 50's) back to changing nappies and sleepless nights and telling his mother that he has no time for himself and cannot BELIEVE how expensive baby formula is!!
Most of his friends are driving sports cars and have grown up kids (like we also do) yet the only thing he's driving is a new double buggy ! LOL!

@HosannainExcelSheets
(Sorry OP nothing to add to your thread but this is top username 😃😃😃)

oh God love him @jemimathecat he's locked in to family life ALL over again, but with younger DC

My ex left me for the ow who he works with. She was also married. They got the same divorce attorney and they and we got divorced at the same time....

Anyway I still have a close contact with someone they work with, but they don't know that I'm in touch with him. So imagine my face when the friend told me that when they had gone to conference (to which ex didn't go) that the ow went to the friends hotel room that night and propositioned herself to him.

So the cheating ow was going to (probably has by now) cheat on the cheater.......

I sleep well at night. I wonder if they do.....

I know I’m not joining in the gleeful pile on. But honestly I think it’s much healthier if you get to the stage you don’t care, rather than dream of how unhappy he might just be. That kind of bitterness doesn’t really help you.

As parents we all have whinges, he may be happy, he might not be, he maybe happier than he was, he may not be, but ultimately it’s irrelevant.

Not caring about his happiness or lack of it, should always be the aim, no matter how hard, becayse then you’re healed.

@cardswapping

No RL per se, but on the same train of thought, I can recommend the now dated movie She Devil 1989 wiki link.

Particularly like how the idyllic OW/H life goes wrong when they have to look after the kids.

I expect the writers knew a few RL people...

Yes! Loved that movie

I know I’m not joining in the gleeful pile on. But honestly I think it’s much healthier if you get to the stage you don’t care

I'd agree with this. Saying the cost of baby formula is expensive is merely stating a fact.

I think op would be better off investing in her own life than looking at dubious signs he is utterly miserable.

Parenting isn't a walk in the park for anyone, is it?

I hope you find someone else op if that is what you want. Having a husband walk out and set up a new life with someone else must have been a horrible thing to witness. I hope you find happiness

I know I’m not joining in the gleeful pile on. But honestly I think it’s much healthier if you get to the stage you don’t care

That is of course the goal for most people who have been betrayed but it is a process not an instantaneous decision. Like a grieving process and along the way there will be all sorts of emotions of which most will pass given time.

This thread is so sad.

You clearly spend time thinking about your Ex and whether or not he is enjoying his life.

Spoiler: he probably is.

My ex cheated with a 21yo, he was 36.
Now married with 2 little kids.
Hes got 2 older kids that he's a crap dad to so hope for the little ones he does better this time round.
When they first got together it was all expensive meals and holidays abroad, obviously plastered all over socail media for everyone to see.
Now hes knee deep in nappies, one wage and won't be free until nearly 60.
If he sticks around which knowing him I doubt.
No idea how she sleeps at night other than having 2 babies she knows shes married to a cheat and a liar and how badly he treated his daughter.
Good luck to her for those kids sake.

@Yoshinori

This thread is so sad.

You clearly spend time thinking about your Ex and whether or not he is enjoying his life.

Spoiler: he probably is.

Did you miss "This is a lighthearted thread"? You are not alone on this thread in your opinion (clearly), but is there really any need to join in with pissing on the OP's chips? There are plenty of serious threads where these remarks could be a useful counterpoint, but it's just poor form on one like this. The same goes for all the po-faced derailing by posters who feel criticised for their life choices: this thread was meant to be JOKEY.

I guess we just can't have nice things, eh?

Did you miss "This is a lighthearted thread"?
you do know that this "disclaimer" is pretty pointless and meaningless, especially when the thread is clearly not lighthearted.

What is very poor form is encouraging someone with something that will very likely cause her pain and grief. We are less than a month away from Christmas too.

I don't understand the men who start second/third families in their late 40s/50s. That means you spend your whole adult life raising young kids, it's not something I would want to do and I do pity them.

I am saying this as a 31 year old woman, I am going enjoy my child free 'older years'

To be fair plenty of women go on to have more children with new partners later in life when they have teen/adult DC. Although less likely for it to have resulted from an affair.

Wouldn't be for me.

My take away from this thread (I've enjoyed the bittersweet nature of the posts) is that I'm considered an older Mum!

I had DS at 28 (was 29 5 weeks later) and DD at 32. I thought that was young!!!

I'm 43 now and freedom beckons. I still feel as though I'm in my 20s!

I thought older mums were mid-40s!

@formerbabe

To be fair plenty of women go on to have more children with new partners later in life when they have teen/adult DC. Although less likely for it to have resulted from an affair.

Wouldn't be for me.

And also women are much less likely to use the excuse that they ‘need’ a younger man because of fertility reasons ( an excuse commonly raised for men chasing younger women . Despite the fact there is hard scientific evidence that men’s spent quality decreases after age 40 and the risks go up and up with the fathers increasing age Funny how society never seems to me too that

Well, FIL thought he was terribly clever in moving out so he could spend his time as he pleased with his 25 year old girlfriend just as MIL had been recovering from major surgery. He didn't want to be 'tied down to a sick, old person'. They did have lovely experiences - holidays, restaurant meals, concerts, trips away almost every weekend, gadgets, expensive hobbies - he even bought her a horse.

Then he had a stroke at an early age and was diagnosed with Parkinsons whilst in there.

He didn't see her for dust. She 'didn't do sick people', apparently, so dumped him by texting somebody else when they contacted her to see why she hadn't been answering the phone calls from the hospital.

MIL's response to this? 'Oh, dear, that's a shame, isn't it?'.

@SciFiScream I had my 3rd ds at 30 and it was classed as a Geriatric pregnancy that didn't go down well with me lol

My ex ran off with my best mate
What he didn’t know was she had mental health issues-one minute she was the best person ever and the next she could snap
3 days after he beat me up and left me for her their house burnt down,they lost everything
She got him into debt by taking out loans in his name for alcohol-she’d drink at least 3 bottles of wine a day-that’s when she’d kick off
She beat him up at least once a week
She’d steal from him
She’d tear up his clothes and break his stuff
She’d take his wallet and go shopping for animals-at one point they had over 100 pets from dogs to snakes in a two bed house
He lost his job due to her showing up and kicking off-at one point she put the window through
This went on for a year-which they put me through hell trying to get custody of my dc
Her mum died so she upped and left him-for another man
He was left homeless and met another woman-moved in with her within a week and she was worse

He tried to come grovelling back but I just laughed

I’m now very happy and I’ve heard he lives in old pubs that need someone to keep an eye on the place until it’s sold-and he gets £50 a week for doing it cash in hand
He can’t get a job as it would mean paying for his dc

I love karma

Well, I'm actually more than happy to spearhead the 'gleeful pile on'

Viva la Karma you stupid old bastards

I really enjoy a good karma story. I love to hear of how these men have shot themselves in the foot.

There are a few ladies here who "doth protest too much" as to the happiness of their old men, knee deep in 2nd and 3rd family nappies. Best of luck to you all. 🍷🤣

I think there should be public health announcement for men who hit middle age and decide to turn their lives upside down and destroy family life...maybe Boris could front it and distribute leaflets in motorbike and cycle shops.

@Rainbowandscarlett
OMG
So sorry for the abuse you suffered at his hands
for him, what goes around comes around
and around
and around

I was always puzzled by my FIL

He cited his 2 teenagers (especially DH) as the cause of his marriage breaking down (what a wonderful responsible man to blame his marital issues on a 16 year old).

And yet OW had a teenage son of her own.

So he basically moved out of the frying pan and into the fire and then instead of clashing with 1 teenage boy in a normal kind of way he now had 3 teens all bitterly hating him
(His own son and daughter and OW's son who was hardly overjoyed to have a 'new dad')

Didn't really seem that the grass was ever greener but they are still together many years later so I guess there must have been something in it.

MIL was always upset that he got the house she'd inherited from her parents (she got the family home). He managed to sell it for less than it was worth because he was too lazy even to paint it. She eventually sold hers for a nice sum. Now he is living off the OW's charity and complains he can't afford to buy Christmas presents. OW's son is still at home too in his 30s. He never sees his own kids or grandkids as he makes no effort. Meanwhile MIL has downsized to a smart new town centre place, has a lovely lady who lunches lifestyle and lots of love from her family.

As ye reap so shall ye sow.