So the the grass belonging to the OW wasn't really greener then was it?!

[jemimathecat]

This is light hearted post but I just wanted to hear if there were any stories out there where your partner/spouse went off with the OW and the grass suddenly turned to mud?!!
After being deeply hurt, I now find myself chuckling when I think of the ex (mid 50's) back to changing nappies and sleepless nights and telling his mother that he has no time for himself and cannot BELIEVE how expensive baby formula is!!
Most of his friends are driving sports cars and have grown up kids (like we also do) yet the only thing he's driving is a new double buggy ! LOL!

OP I'm here for the karma. My ex is with a much younger woman and although she wasn't the OW he left me for, she is a nasty piece of work.
They've also just had a baby he's in his 40s shes early 20s and all I've had over the past few weeks is that he's struggling, unhappy and things are so difficult for him

I have not an ounce of sympathy for him, he basically left me as a single parent to two babies at a very young age, has barely paid a penny towards them and also hasn't seen them in 3 months. He can kiss my big arse if he thinks I'm going to feel sorry for him or the crazy mother of his child.

He can kiss my big arse if he thinks I'm going to feel sorry for him or the crazy mother of his child
What about the child?
are you ok with enjoying the fact that this child has dysfunctional parents, and will likely be a dysfunctional and damaged person?

@Yohoheaveho I feel sorry for the child because I am a decent human being and the way they are already using their child to provoke me and to hurt my children is disgusting. I feel sorry that my dc won't have a relationship with their sibling, but I still don't feel sorry for them, neither of them feel anything for my dc and are more than ok with seeing them hurt. As I said crazy lady is a nasty piece of work and is more than happy that my dc do not see their father and their father is to scared to stand up to her as she will kick him out like she usually does and he'll end up back on his mums sofa as he's a broke leech living off women.

@Yohoheaveho so yes they can both kiss my big arse.

@Yohoheaveho @Startingoveryetagain
has said she's not sorry for the child's parents. For all we know that baby will have a very happy childhood.
Even so there are dc all over the world with dysfunctional parents, sad but there's little most of us can do about it.

[quote Startingoveryetagain]@Yohoheaveho I feel sorry for the child because I am a decent human being and the way they are already using their child to provoke me and to hurt my children is disgusting. I feel sorry that my dc won't have a relationship with their sibling, but I still don't feel sorry for them, neither of them feel anything for my dc and are more than ok with seeing them hurt. As I said crazy lady is a nasty piece of work and is more than happy that my dc do not see their father and their father is to scared to stand up to her as she will kick him out like she usually does and he'll end up back on his mums sofa as he's a broke leech living off women.[/quote]
If you could wave a magic wand and determine the course of their lives what would you have happen?
Do you think they are beyond redemption and reformation?

But to describe her losing her baby to cot death, then needing psychiatric care as karma is pretty crass to put it mildly

That's your opinion, which you are entitled to have

IMO she deserved everything she got, after helping to bust up a marriage and a family

By god, thinking someone deserves to have two children die for having an affair is completely unhinged. It absolutely beggars belief that anyone could think this. I'm at a loss for words.

@Yohoheaveho

He can kiss my big arse if he thinks I'm going to feel sorry for him or the crazy mother of his child What about the child? are you ok with enjoying the fact that this child has dysfunctional parents, and will likely be a dysfunctional and damaged person?

What’s that got to do with Yogoheaveho? She didn’t hold a gun to his head and force him to impregnate the woman.

He’s a shit parent to his older children and clearly a shit parent and partner to his new family.

PP can laugh in his face when he complains about ‘poor him’. He made his bed.

I don’t care or want to know what ex is doing. He tries very hard to keep me informed. I suspect he wanted to upset me by telling me he had more dc. He was really furious when he discovered I was in a relationship as he’d told me I was ‘used goods’ when I left him.

I do feel for his kids though. Ex is a monster but his wife is a pretty awful woman too. She sent a letter to court stating that ex’s DV against me was 50% my fault!
Should thank her I suppose as it sealed it for the courts that my DC would not be safe having direct contact with ex.

Why should the victim of a person's shitty behaviour be obliged to care about their redemption or reformation?
You can be all Pollyanna about it if you like yokoheaveho but it doesn't make other posters wrong or terrible people if they enjoy seeing the person who ruined their life be miserable further down the line.

@Yohoheaveho In the nicest possible way, they're both arseholes and yes way beyond redemption! If I had a magic wand, honestly I'd wipe them both off the face of the earth, you really have no idea how disgusting they are. I wouldn't wish any harm on a child, but I've been told through the grapevine that ex and his childs mum have been telling everyone that I tried to kill their child and wished it dead! I have not laid eyes on either of them for over 1 year.

As I said she wasn't the OW so I've never disliked her nor had any issue with her, however she is very young and very insecure as she was infact the OW to the OW he left me for, so is very hateful to anyone who dares to go near her dp

@MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously

Why should the victim of a person's shitty behaviour be obliged to care about their redemption or reformation? You can be all Pollyanna about it if you like yokoheaveho but it doesn't make other posters wrong or terrible people if they enjoy seeing the person who ruined their life be miserable further down the line.

I did not say that she ought to care about their redemption or reformation, I asked if she thought he was beyond redemption or reformation. Do you understand the distinction between those two things?

I have never "gloated over" the loss of 2 of their children.

Your first post sure sounded like it. The whole subsequent 'I feel bad for the kids I'm not glad it happened but not sorry it happened to them' or whatever nonsense you were spouting in an attempt to make it seem less bad - I'm not buying it at all.

I was just going to leave this thread before someone accused me of being a 'racist', 'homophobe', 'xenophobe', 'nazi,' 'marxist', 'Little Englander', 'Trump supporter', 'Holocaust denier' or any of the other pejorative labels that are often seen flying around these threads

Probably for the best.

To be fair lost the woman had an affair with Jane's husband. And then behaved pretty appallingly after the fact by harassing Jane's children and vandalising Jane's car. It's not 'just' an affair. I really don't think Jane is obliged to care at all about anything bad that happens to her/ex. And that's really not the same as not being sorry about the death of the child.

@Frazzledasarock he sounds just like my ex, before I told him I had a boyfriend he was convinced that I was still desperately in love with him and so jealous that he'd had another child.
He's now demanding to meet said boyfriend, just to see if he's suitable to have around my dc even though he hasn't seen them in months because his girlfriend cries or constantly calls him when he's with them.

They're both arseholes and yes way beyond redemption
To be clear I am not saying that you ought to care about them, just wondering if you think that they could, under different circumstances, have developed into better people.
I despise my ex-husband he is a vile snake of a person, I wish he was a better person who could have been a good supportive parents to our children.
His life has turned to absolute shit, and it can only end in a horrible way, this is painful for my adult children to witness.
I'm appalled that I chose this man to be a parent to my children, I like to think that he could have been a better version of himself but perhaps that just me indulging myself to alleviate my own sense of guilt?

"I don't think anyone would wish death on a baby and I don't believe that Jane did either. But equally I don't think she's obliged to feel sympathy for the ex/ow either. Being sad for the baby and sad for the parents are two separate things, I think."

Some posters are too comfortably ensconced on their moral high horse to make this distinction

Do you understand the difference Yoko, because you are the one asking posters what they would do if they had a magic wand, as if it's their responsibility

Ok when it comes to karma describing losing a baby as part of it can be left out.

Yoko, if your ex turned out to be a shit,vyou don't have anything to feel guilty about. We all make the best choice we can with the info we have available at the time and sometimes we are lucky and it pans out, other times not.
The only person responsible is him, if he is a bad father.
In the end it doesn't matter if a person could have been a better human - they aren't and that's the reality.

@JaneM8888 I completely get what your saying, there would be zero compassion or sympathy from me either if that happened to my ex and his ow! What goes around comes around!

[quote Startingoveryetagain]@Frazzledasarock he sounds just like my ex, before I told him I had a boyfriend he was convinced that I was still desperately in love with him and so jealous that he'd had another child.
He's now demanding to meet said boyfriend, just to see if he's suitable to have around my dc even though he hasn't seen them in months because his girlfriend cries or constantly calls him when he's with them.[/quote]
Totally ignore him and don’t tell him anything about your personal life.

In my case ex used to sit outside my house just watching my house for hours on end. So he found out.

I’ve moved far away from there now and he’s still trying to find me.

I have no sympathy or anything for the dickhead

@MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously

Yoko, if your ex turned out to be a shit,vyou don't have anything to feel guilty about. We all make the best choice we can with the info we have available at the time and sometimes we are lucky and it pans out, other times not. The only person responsible is him, if he is a bad father. In the end it doesn't matter if a person could have been a better human - they aren't and that's the reality.

You're right, I will try to remember this, thank you🙏

[quote wewillmeetagain]@JaneM8888 I completely get what your saying, there would be zero compassion or sympathy from me either if that happened to my ex and his ow! What goes around comes around! [/quote]
What goes around comes around, would mean the cheater gets cheated on...not their child dying.

Sad to see so many women are so bitter that their husband slept with someone else that they think a child dying is some kind of karma.

You must be seriously sick

Hindsight is a wonderful thing,I bet it would save millions of people from being screwed over,abused,hurt and killed.

Abusers can control their behaviour,they are abusive only to some people while being normal to others.

As for all “high moral ground” brigade,any person choosing to have a relationship with somebody who is married is guilty as well.

I feel sorry for people whose life has been turned upside down due to betrayal of their spouse. All kids all innocent party in that but it’s beyond my understanding how parent can abandon their existing kids and create a new one.

As for Jane- her ex and his “mistress” put her and her kids through utter hell. How the hell father could impose such behaviour on his own children?

If i had a magic wand I’d wish a big penis sprouting from exs face so everyone could see he’s a fucking dickhead