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Original poster

So the the grass belonging to the OW wasn't really greener then was it?!

557 replies

jemimathecat · 07/12/2020 12:53

This is light hearted post but I just wanted to hear if there were any stories out there where your partner/spouse went off with the OW and the grass suddenly turned to mud?!!
After being deeply hurt, I now find myself chuckling when I think of the ex (mid 50's) back to changing nappies and sleepless nights and telling his mother that he has no time for himself and cannot BELIEVE how expensive baby formula is!!
Most of his friends are driving sports cars and have grown up kids (like we also do) yet the only thing he's driving is a new double buggy ! LOL!

OP posts:
AzraiL · 10/12/2020 09:46

Obviously I am sorry the baby died but I'm not sorry it happened to them.

Most people wouldn't wish this upon their worst enemy.

I agree, in a thread that was meant to be light-hearted this is pretty callous. I've known people who've lost their children and it is an unbearable thing, and not something one should be gloat about seeing happen to anyone.

User6655645 · 10/12/2020 09:47

@LimitIsUp

Why is your opinion more valid than anyone elses? I'm personally shocked and disturbed by @JaneM8888, and I wouldn't be surprised if she hasn't completely derailed this thread. if I want to comment on her I will. It's a forum where anyone who wants to posts can post.

Notrightbutok · 10/12/2020 09:56

On a more lighthearted note, my ex thought he'd met the love of his life on fb whilst we were still together. 2 years on he's still pursuing women through fb, they all seem to live the other end of the country (he hates long car journeys) and they are all women who seem to have issues that he believes he can fix. It makes me chuckle from time to time.

I met a wonderful man who lives locally and doesn't need a huge fb fan girl following to stroke his ego.

Googlebrained · 10/12/2020 10:10

Wow I wish the derailers would sod off. I'm not a left wife, second wife or younger wife. I'm also an older parent. But I can understand why people might want to laugh a bit at their exes happy ever after sometimes not quite panning out...

Don't see anyone here as sounding majorly stuck or mired in bitterness. And I agree it is a label almost exclusively put on older women. Getting over past hurts is a process and is never helped by people saying just get over it, already. Like telling depressed people to pull their socks up or lonely people to just go out and make friends. Having a little laugh occasionally is doing no one any harm. Telling them they're bitter most probably is.

Googlebrained · 10/12/2020 10:14

Jane M8888 excepted. That's just cruel I'm afraid

JaneM8888 · 10/12/2020 10:53

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Yohoheaveho · 10/12/2020 10:59

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JaneM8888 · 10/12/2020 11:01

"I've known people who've lost their children and it is an unbearable thing, and not something one should be gloat about seeing happen to anyone."

I have never "gloated over" the loss of 2 of their children.

But I am not sorry it happened to them and if that makes me an evil witch so be it.
I save my sympathy for more deserving couples.

JaneM8888 · 10/12/2020 11:04

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formerbabe · 10/12/2020 11:11

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JaneM8888 · 10/12/2020 11:15

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MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 10/12/2020 11:19

I'm with Jane tbh. I don't see what's wrong with enjoying the suffering of those who have caused you utter misery. Did the ex and OW feel bad for Jane and her children? Not if they were vandalising her car and terrorising her kids in their own garden!
I don't think you can legitimately call her a psycho unless she actually caused the problems her ex/ow experienced!
Anyway she's right - if they hadn't both screwed her over, then none of those horrible things would have happened to them. You can feel sorry for the babies without feeling sorry for the parents.

JaneM8888 · 10/12/2020 11:19

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formerbabe · 10/12/2020 11:21

@JaneM8888

"The fact she shagged your husband has nothing to do with her child dying. "

Incorrect.
If she hadn't got involved it wouldn't have happened, so there is a cause and effect here.
The fact that everyone in that household smoked like chimneys may have been another factor - and she had control over that.

The universe didn't conspire to cause the tragic death of a baby because the parents had an affair. You should stop posting about it. You are making yourself look absolutely awful.
Yohoheaveho · 10/12/2020 11:24

I understand the urge to take pleasure from someone else's pain, but this an urge we should resist, it is corrosive to the soul to take pleasure from someone else's pain.

formerbabe · 10/12/2020 11:27

Anyway I don't think sleeping with someone else's husband is so heinous that you deserve to lose a child...but hey, that's just me.

JaneM8888 · 10/12/2020 11:31

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MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 10/12/2020 11:33

Is it corrosive to the soul or is that what we tell ourselves because we have no control over what happens to other people and there is no natural justice, where good people are guaranteed happy lives and bad people get their comeuppance?

I honestly don't think I'm a bad person but I find it hard to feel sorry for people who have bad things happen to them, if they've gone through life shitting on other people. I think if a lot of people were being honest, they are more like Jane (and me) than like the more forgiving types.

MarshaBradyo · 10/12/2020 11:34

I think most people would draw the line differently though. Eg something so sad as a baby dying. Too much.

formerbabe · 10/12/2020 11:36

I was just going to leave this thread before someone accused me of being a 'racist', 'homophobe', 'xenophobe', 'nazi,' 'marxist', 'Little Englander', 'Trump supporter', 'Holocaust denier' or any of the other pejorative labels that are often seen flying around these threads

Confused
Retiremental · 10/12/2020 11:36

@formerbabe

Anyway I don't think sleeping with someone else's husband is so heinous that you deserve to lose a child...but hey, that's just me.
Totally agree and it’s horrible that this thread has been so dramatically derailed by someone who clearly needs to address their anger.

FWIW when OW went into premature labour with baby number 2, I went to pick my kids up from their dads early. It killed him to ask me but I also took their toddler back to mine until OWs mum was able to pick them up. I resisted the temptation to teach him to say ‘Daddy’s a dick’ Wink but my point is NO child should be punished or mistreated because of how their parents have treated other people.

Yohoheaveho · 10/12/2020 11:40

I find it hard to feel sorry for people who have bad things happen to them if they've gone through life shitting on other people
I wouldn't feel sorry for such people, but I would still think them deserving of some compassion some help, would still hope that they could find a better version of themselves. I would not take pleasure in their suffering.
I think there is a distinction to be made between 'not feeling sorry for someone' and 'actively taking pleasure in their suffering'

ComeOnGordon · 10/12/2020 11:41

My ex is a shit father, sees our teenagers for an afternoon a week & rarely contacts them in between visits. Hasn’t once been to see our oldest at uni. He was always a crap father - left nearly all of the childcare to me.

We’ve been separated 3 years since I chucked him out for cheating on me with a colleague of his who is 15 years younger than him. He’s now in his early 50’s, she’s late 30’s. I will howl laughing if she gets pregnant 😂 in 3.5 years my kids will be adults and I’ll be 50 & hopefully healthy & be able to live me life as I want to. If she has a baby anytime soon, he’ll have a kid at home till he retires 😂😂 and I’ll then take half his pension!!! Would be payback for how badly he treated me

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 10/12/2020 11:47

I don't think anyone would wish death on a baby and I don't believe that Jane did either. But equally I don't think she's obliged to feel sympathy for the ex/ow either. Being sad for the baby and sad for the parents are two separate things, I think.

formerbabe · 10/12/2020 11:50

@MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously

I don't think anyone would wish death on a baby and I don't believe that Jane did either. But equally I don't think she's obliged to feel sympathy for the ex/ow either. Being sad for the baby and sad for the parents are two separate things, I think.
Like @yohoheaveho said

I think there is a distinction to be made between 'not feeling sorry for someone' and 'actively taking pleasure in their suffering