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Original poster

So the the grass belonging to the OW wasn't really greener then was it?!

557 replies

jemimathecat · 07/12/2020 12:53

This is light hearted post but I just wanted to hear if there were any stories out there where your partner/spouse went off with the OW and the grass suddenly turned to mud?!!
After being deeply hurt, I now find myself chuckling when I think of the ex (mid 50's) back to changing nappies and sleepless nights and telling his mother that he has no time for himself and cannot BELIEVE how expensive baby formula is!!
Most of his friends are driving sports cars and have grown up kids (like we also do) yet the only thing he's driving is a new double buggy ! LOL!

OP posts:
angela99999 · 08/12/2020 17:55

@jemimathecat We used to live in an area popular with men just like your ex, brimming with trophy wives and buggies too big to fit through shop doors. I used to send up a silent cheer when we saw the grey old farts trundling round with the second family on Saturdays whilst their bottle blonde young wives were at the salon.
Did they honestly imagine that they'd get away with no children?

So many of them don't last the course, leaving a second family with no father.

Lucyk1 · 08/12/2020 18:08

Just because he's back to changing nappies, doesn't mean he's not happy. My dad did the exact same thing in his late 40s. He went back to changing nappies, not just once but twice. He now has 2 kids, a massive house, family car and he absolutely loves the bones of his kids. He enjoys going swimming with them, disneyworld, family trips, weekends all together. He's very happy. This man might be super happy too, and although the baby stage is hard, eventually those kids win the heart.

Nicholashaslosthisknickers · 08/12/2020 18:44

What a dreadful thread! Bitter ex wives with no ability to move in. No I’m not an OW.

FelicisNox · 08/12/2020 18:46

I wasn't cheated on but left my ex because he was lazy, work shy and a drinker/gambler.

He left me to rot in a hostel when I was pregnant, cheated on me and generally treated me like garbage and guess who ended up in a relationship with someone lazier and greedier than him and ended up living in a hostel?

Karma is indeed a bitch.

Nicholashaslosthisknickers · 08/12/2020 18:47

On not in

Slaferjops · 08/12/2020 18:49

Fab how come bck to bit on bum hehe. Wink

MrsVogon · 08/12/2020 19:08

@Nicholashaslosthisknickers

What a dreadful thread! Bitter ex wives with no ability to move in. No I’m not an OW.
Yeah right...
MamaDeeDee · 08/12/2020 19:08

Lol love the post OP.

I have a now 6 year old boy. His dad and I were seeing each other for 10 months when I found out I was pregnant. He worked away during the week so I would only see him at the weekend for a couple of days. When he moved in eventually, I was around 7 months pregnant and everything changed. Late nights with his friends, any excuse to avoid spending time with me and son, drinking excessively, had no respect for me and spoke to me like a bit of shit. I put up with this for just over 2 years thinking it would be best for my son to try keep the family together.. Anyway one night his phone kept pinging when he was in the shower and I looked at it to discover disgusting messages from a couple of women (Told him to pack his bags there and then & get the fuck out) and never looked back. He sees his son once a week in his mums flat who he now lives with. I am happily engaged and can honestly say I have never been happier. Much healthier and happier home for my son also!

likeamillpond · 08/12/2020 19:22

@Nicholashaslosthisknickers

What a dreadful thread! Bitter ex wives with no ability to move in. No I’m not an OW.
Oh rubbish. Read the whole thread
likeamillpond · 08/12/2020 19:26

@Lucyk1

Just because he's back to changing nappies, doesn't mean he's not happy. My dad did the exact same thing in his late 40s. He went back to changing nappies, not just once but twice. He now has 2 kids, a massive house, family car and he absolutely loves the bones of his kids. He enjoys going swimming with them, disneyworld, family trips, weekends all together. He's very happy. This man might be super happy too, and although the baby stage is hard, eventually those kids win the heart.
I highly doubt that is the case for the majority. Most will be working till well into their old age, basically till they drop. In the.meantime its their peers who ate enjoying the good life.
Minxmumma · 08/12/2020 19:26

Currently in the midst of this with the added bonus that the OW decided he wasn't so special after all and binned him before he had even got settled into his side of the bed.

Sooo sad. Not.

PicsInRed · 08/12/2020 19:54

the bitterness is strong on this thread. As expected.

Xmas Grin Xmas Grin Xmas Grin

Pyewhacket · 08/12/2020 19:57

Maybe but I’ve never met a guy who regretted getting divorce.

Rustyplastic · 08/12/2020 20:06

@Pyewhacket

Maybe but I’ve never met a guy who regretted getting divorce.
Lol heck I have . I’ve even seen a couple on their knees begging the ex to take them back Two if these behind the ‘seconds ‘ back Smile Yes agree there are plenty of second wives on this thread throwing around the word bitter cause they have nothing better to excuse the very natural sense of karma the firsts dare to comment on
letsnotscaretheneighbours · 08/12/2020 20:11

@Pyewhacket you've not met my ex husband then who begged my Dad to 'talk some sense into me, and return to his arms' just before I married my husband.

Rustyplastic · 08/12/2020 20:20

Despite the fact that there are other cases of grass is greener ie men leave for older women or same age , women leave for other etc , I will address the situation that has been predominately discussed here and seems to be causing the upset and name calling for first wives.
In the case where a man leaves for a ‘ usually ‘ younger woman and possibly goes on to have more children I think it needs to be understood that there is really no reason to be labelling and calling the first wives names
The first is totally entitled to look at the situation and see it in whatever light she does . If she hears him complaining and whining about the relationship not being all shits and giggles like he imagined , the hassles of babies or whatever , there’s nothing ‘ bitter ‘ about her saying wow this guy is complaining , it’s not what he dreamt ‘

You see the first wife has nine times out of ten absolutely no vested interest in this guy. She sees him for what he is , knows how he operates

The second on the other hand , of which many seem to be coming here to attack the firsts or defend the men , DO have a vested interest in keeping up the illusion that this is just some good guy who was so unhappy and is now much happier with the new wife and kids . Sure we can be unhappy in one relationship and happy in another but then we are talking about those who are complaining !
The firsts see these men for the shallow shits they are . They blow with the wind , moving wherever the benefit to THEM pays .

IF that so happens to be with the mistress through sex that’s where they go but once mistress becomes boring wifey then old wifey sometimes ( often becomes ‘hot ex sex ‘ and this is a threat that I think seconds have in the back of their mind
The second is no longer a threat to the first . A, because he’s gone and B because she sees him for what he is but the ex is surely a massive threat to some seconds once they realise the tables are turning

Twinpeaksdancingman · 08/12/2020 20:20

Great thread.

Keep the stories coming ladies and hopefully the retailers will pop off and start their own Grin

Twinpeaksdancingman · 08/12/2020 20:20

*derailers

poochiemaloochie · 08/12/2020 20:23

Glad for you OP i totally get it. Ive just heard about my ex and his karma after a 20 year wait and i cant lie its given me some closure. Buggered off when our baby was 3 months old, was never there for her, had to fight to get any financial support, he went on to father 4 more kids by two other women. Just found out latest wife has chucked him out, he has a crappy job and lives in a grotty flat by himself. I feel so sorry for all the kids involved but can't feel a drop of sympathy for him. It's been a long time coming Wink

Rustyplastic · 08/12/2020 20:25

@Twinpeaksdancingman

Great thread.

Keep the stories coming ladies and hopefully the retailers will pop off and start their own Grin

Actually some retailers would be better than the derailers , but there’s always a patriarchy support club huh
Twinpeaksdancingman · 08/12/2020 20:36

Absolutely Rusty... and in current climates the retailers will fathom better than the derailers.

And like most retailers they don’t know their place in the current market

HitthatroadJack · 08/12/2020 20:37

Keep the stories coming ladies and hopefully the retailers will pop off and start their own

oh the irony!

Twinpeaksdancingman · 08/12/2020 20:40

oh the irony!

When you should literally do what you user name says Grin

HitthatroadJack · 08/12/2020 20:49

Twinpeaksdancingman
I didn't recognise your username, sorry. As I said, after seeing your other threads, I won't engage with you anymore. Good luck though Flowers

TheFormidableMrsC · 08/12/2020 20:52

I'm going to put this thread on watch to read later but this is very very timely! I had a long running saga on here around 7 years ago when my now ex-h left me and our toddler completely out of the blue. The OW was a psychopath then and has escalated by a million fold since.

I have been stalked on here by them and therefore do not want to go into too much detail, but a few weeks ago, I was contacted by somebody connected to them out of concern for our DS (who doesn't have contact with my ex now). I have been given an insight that I didn't ever imagine I would have. It is a situation you couldn't write. I knew my ex-h, despite his protestations of happiness, was not quite that happy given the actual sight of him, lack of personal care for example, unusual from somebody who was obsessed with how he looked when we were married. However, I couldn't believe what I was told. This information was not given in malice nor in a gossipy capacity, but out of genuine concern. It has brought me a level of peace I never thought I would find. I actually feel deeply sorry for him, but also feel that this is his karma for the utterly appalling way he has treated me and our son. It would have been our 20th wedding anniversary today. I am currently toasting my freedom and the happiness I have found in my life and knowing full well that the grass on the other side tasted like shit. He has spent his entire life being a playboy and is now stuck with a violent, narcisstic alcoholic who tracks his every move. He's lost everything. Oh well, shit happens!