OP, if I am correct, you’ve written several threads about this man. In the first you were impatient for him to leave his wife. You recently wrote that he’d been rumbled and had dropped you, so you called his wife and spilled the details.
You went into this with your eyes open. You knew he was married but made the first move the night you met because ‘sometimes you have to be selfish.’ As things progressed, you were convinced he was committed because he came around several times a week, seemed invested emotionally, and was helping you financially. Although he kept promising to leave his wife, he repeatedly moved the goalposts. Posters warned that you were headed for heartbreak and they challenged you for being complicit in hurting an innocent woman and children.
When he was recently rumbled, he asked you to lie for him. Enraged, you called his wife and told her everything. She was devastated and he was livid with you. They are still together and you can’t believe it.
You wanted him but he future faked you to get sex and attention. He possibly had an agenda to buy your silence. You sabotaged a year of your life clinging to the lies and repeated empty promises of a married man. Use this as a valuable learning experience.
My advice is to seek the support of counseling to strengthen your self-esteem and boundaries and to learn positive coping strategies. Examine your self-destructive choices, as well as the selfishness that led you to pursue an unavailable man and your willingness to harm innocent people.