Ghosted?! Help me compose a pithy response before I block?

[40swrinklesandspots]

We went to school together 25 years ago - fancied the pants off each other but it never happened. Fast forward and we have always kept in touch in a happy Xmas on Facebook type way.
During lockdown 0.1 we started chatting more and there was a lot of chemistry. I have just come out of a long marriage and not looking for a relationship- think he is similar.
We ended up in a very casual FwB type situation (live opposite ends of country so hard to see each other between kids, logistics, work and not to mention Covid)
But he has always blown a bit hot and cold and to be honest I’ve probably let him get away with more shit than I should have because of the attraction, sexual chemistry and nostalgia. And because he made me feel wanted and fun.
Anyway, we messaged last week and everything was cool- arranged a possible virtual date for that night. Didn’t hear from him. Fine- no pressure-
Life gets in the way. By Saturday hadn’t heard so just sent a message saying hi. No response!
Think he has ghosted Me?
Help me send a message before I block that will make me feel better?
I’m thinking ‘wow! You’ve ghosted me? Cool move dude’ and then blocking ?

Why would you waste ur time ? If you block you're not even going to see the response ?

Hasn't been long enough. Better to just leave it for now.

I guess because I want him to know I’m hurt?

It sounds like its running cross with lockdown and distance.

You said you weren’t looking for a relationship and neither was he, so does it really matter if it’s fizzled out? It’s not a relationship and it’s long distance - perhaps he just got fed up of it? Yes he ought to be more polite, but just forget him - no need for snipey replies, you’d just make yourself look silly. He wouldn’t care.

Ignore. Don't contact further. Indifference is powerful

@40swrinklesandspots

I guess because I want him to know I’m hurt?

Why give him the satisfaction?

I wouldn't message him.

Just block him. He doesn’t care if he has hurt you! Don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing you’re annoyed.

@40swrinklesandspots

I guess because I want him to know I’m hurt?

He doesn't care how you feel though? Why would you reveal your hurt to someone who has made it clear they don't care... you'll just lose what dignity you have.

Block and move on, don't make an arse of yourself or it will just feel worse.

I wouldn't send that response OP. It's going to make you look as if you're really bothered by it. I'd just ignore him.

DO NOT MESSAGE HIM. As someone who has done that far too often, and never felt any better for it (in fact much worse) I plead with you not to.

Just block him and move forwards.

I wouldn’t message just yet.. see what happens. I know you’re pissed off he’s not been in touch but you’ve known each other for a long time. Wait and see..

Don't, just don't. If it's over, it's over. But if you find out his mum died, or his best friend is terminally ill, or whatever, then you look a total bitch

Ew, don't please!

It just comes off as desperate and needy, it won't make him change or shame him or whatever you were going for, he will just think 'lucky escape'

No dont send that. It makes you sound needy. I agree with the pps, just block.

If you must message, 'ok, all the best then!' makes it seem like you're cool af with it ending. Because you're cool in general and have other shit going on and he wasnt a big part of your life, so fuck him lol.

Argh please don't do it!

If something bad has happened like a family emergency you'll feel shit.

If it's just fizzled out and he says well it was just FWB and you wanted casual you'll feel shit.

If he doesn't reply because he doesn't actually care and that's why he stopped messaging you, you'll feel shit.

No good can come of it!

Block and move on, focus on you not him.

In a FWB you shouldn't feel hurt - it's a no strings sexual relationship. So, so many reasons why he's not been in touch, none of which should bother you. Look for another FB who won't mess you around.

Don't send anything, just block and move on.

@Moondust001

Don't, just don't. If it's over, it's over. But if you find out his mum died, or his best friend is terminally ill, or whatever, then you look a total bitch

Exactly what I was thinking.

Either he doesn't give a fuck or there has been some disaster in his life.

You aren't going to win or get at him or shame him with 'wow! You’ve ghosted me? Cool move dude’ because he doesn't care whether you think it's a cool move or not.

Best thing would be to move on and let it be known through mutual friends how happy you are and how fabulous the sex is.

I wouldn’t message or block. You said ‘shall we do X next week’ he said ‘hmm maybe’ then you were both busy and it didn’t happen. What’s he done that’s so wrong? I think this is a helpful note that you are developed feelings for him and you should think about whether you want to let it fizzle anyway or whether you want a chat, when you feel calmer, to say ‘actually I like you and id like us to try this out more seriously’

Ok thank you. I guess because of the history I feel more hurt than if it was some random bloke I’d known a few weeks. He was my school crush ha ha. My 15 year old self would have been blown away by our ‘relationship’

Totally get that. Maybe try and focus on that feeling instead!