He's throwing me out today with 7 yr old daughter

[alittleone2]

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Where are you now?

Whereabouts in the country are you?

oh poor you - sounds truly awful...although I think you deserve someone far better....he cannot throw you out of your home...is the mortgage in both names??

oh fuck.

I have no idea what to suggest, I'm sure someone will come along soon with bags of fantastic advice, but I didn't want to read your post and not say something.

From what you say, it does sound like you will be better off without him, but I don't suppose that's much consolation today.

He may not have changed the locks. Can someone look after your dd while you go round and see? In any event, you are going to need stuff out of the house.

Is he violent with you? If so, you could call the police to go with you?

If you are on the mortgage then I'm pretty sure he cannot just throw you out. Go home now and check. Get important paperwork. Call a solicitor.
So sorry for you and your dd. What a twat he sounds.

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how terrible. What a pig.

What do you want to do first?
Have you got anywhere to go tonight? Where are you now?

He is not entitled to change the locks on you. Is the house in joint names or just his name? Even if it is only in his name, you can get an emergency court order making him let you in and allowing you to live there. Then you can think about your next step. You could do that tomorrow morning if you wanted to. It would be easier with a solicitor, but it's not necessary to have one. What about work, can you get a day off to try and sort this out?

You can go immediately to the council for emergency accommodation, if there is no-one who can put you up tonight.

Good luck, I have to go off now, but will be thinking of you and hoping you find a way forward.

Is it a joint mortgage?

I'm pretty sure he isn't legally allowed to change the locks to keep you out

Having said that, you really don't want to live there with things like this do you. But at the very least you need to get your things out.

Can you contact old friends and ask for help? Surely if they knew what he was doing (and don't like him anyway) they would help?
You need someone to watch dd, and also someone to go with you to get your things (for now you just need to get the main things out - some clothes and anything that is precious to you).

whose name is house in?

can you book into a B&B?

sorry x-posts

can you ring CAB for advice?

is there really nobody you could call to help?

sounds awful

what about your clothes/ things etc?

Oh you poor thing, that is really crap, where are you now? At work?
I'd book into a hotel tonight and go and see a solicitor in the morning. Who owns the house? There must be a friend who would be happy to hear you have split up from him?
On the bright side 1500 quid a month is enough to provide for you and your dd, you will be ok when it is all sorted out.

Is there anybody at work who can help you out in the short term?

He is a slimy fuckwit of the highest order and you are better off without him. I doubt you see that now and it doesn't really help you with your current situation.

Where are you now?

Is there somewhere you can go?

Council/womens aid may be able to help if not.

Old friends you have not seen for a while may well be more supportive than you think, especially if you tell them what has happened.

You need your stuff, if he won't let you get it then call the police

When none of his bills get paid he will soon realise who needs to do the growing up

Poor you, and your poor dd too

Sorry, don't have any more constructive advice

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Do call one of you old friends. If he is the one who estranged them they will no doubt be happy to help you.

Take care.

I think it is time to swallow your pride a little bit and call family or friends, even, or particularly if they have told you in the past that he was bad news. You need help, practical help and we can't help you in a practical manner.

Are you posting from work?

Do you have any work mates you could confide in?

Ignore my post then as you answered my questions in the post before!!

Wouldn't you even take a couple of the blokey blokes around home with you this evening to check if he has changed the locks?

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you need to phone council beofre they shut - tell them story ask what to do about housing.

its going to be harder to get housed in the long term by council if someone puts you up

Have you got any proof that you've been paying what looks like almost half the mortgage? Bank statements and so on? Because then you will have a claim on the house - see a solicitor PDQ.

you also need to get your stuff back - ask a friend/family member to store - hell take it to the charity shop.

i would check for a fact that he has changed the locks - a time when you are sure he would be at work. and pick up my things.

What a wanker Your poor dd, how could he? Have you actually spoken to him today? would you be able to calmly tell him that you need to get in to collect stuff for your dd and you. Is he having a breakdown or something? What about his family, do they know he is behaving like this? Would they be sympathetic to you?