You really sound like a cool woman. What I like most is that you do not sound like a victim.
I'm also impressed by the effort your partner is making. People who make an effort deserve a chance (within reason!), and that is exactly what you are doing.
And it turns out it was a mental illness. He is getting treatment for it, which is great. Is he also seeing a GP about it?
Anyway, it looks like there is a future! I am really pleased for all of you.
Let us know how the job hunt turns out. It looks like this bit will be OK, and I am crossing my fingers you'll get a very good offer.
I don't know if it is appropriate to ask, but I am curious... so if you don't want to answer just ignore me. I am puzzled about the identity fraud problems. How can people not write off fraudulent loans that were taken in your name? You proved it was not you who got the loans, how can it be possible that you are liable to pay for them?