He's throwing me out today with 7 yr old daughter

[alittleone2]

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The coucil are telling you rubbish, by law they HAVE to house you 28 days or round about, they also have a secret emergency stock in cases like these, if you end up at the council with your suitcases they will house you temporarily. I hope that you are ok but definately do what has been suggested and get back into the house and get all your personal items out, if he is that much of a pr!ck he might even try to destroy them, I think you are having a lucky escape.

Also you said you'd been paying for other things in the house. If any decorations etc try and get proof of that as it bolsters your claim to have an interest in the house - ie he can't sell it without your consent.

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sending you ((((hugs)))) and the guts to keep going. Hope the weekend is ok.

Only just seen this, but if you do need any more help/cup of tea & a chat/emergency bed for the night I'm quite near you in Ilford, please feel free to email me on username66 at btinternet dot com (without the gaps and @ and . instead of the words!)

Oh God, poor you, can I ask do you love him? Would you stay if things improved dramatically? What if he put your name on the mortgage?

I wouldn't want to stay but I'm not you and I don't know how you feel. I certainly wouldn't stay whilst remaining open to threats such as the number he pulled on you on Wednesday.

Poor you, offering you a big {{{hug}}} as I have no advice for you.
You sound very strong and brave. It is good that you are putting your child before first.

Maybe if his turnaround is genuine (only you will be able to assess) you should arrange a session or two at Relate? If there is a chance of things working and you still walk away now, you may end up with regrets?

wow turn up - good luck xxxx

Hope this work out one way or the other for you. Well done on being so strong!

think you are doing the right thing by sticking to your guns.you cant be emotionally blackmailed because he isn't well either.hold your chin up and do whats best for you and your little girl x x x x

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What a fuckwit of a person.

Get OUT and AWAY from him.

No one deserves this type of treatment.

He's gone from being the one in control to completely losing any influence over you because you've taken control of your own life. He doesn't like that and doesn't know how to get back the control.

Just keep on looking for someone else. Don't get drawn into any arguments or discussions. Only speak to him when it is necessary or he can say something nice. Good luck.

Sorry, that should be somewhere else, not someone - although you could look for someone else too .

I think you would be wise to make careful plans to move away from him. Whether you decide to/need to or not in the end, I think you should be prepared. See this whole weird business as a timely warning. If you stay with him, the financial situation has to be cleared up.

Long-term the whole situation sounds unsatisfactory and he seems very unbalanced just at the moment, you can't risk being in some desperate situation with your dc on account of another of his whims. If you are going to function as a mother and at work, frankly I think you need some kind of security which you don't have in this current situation.

How's it going alittle one2?

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oh my goodness. Crappy timing for the redundancy, but maybe it will give you chance to have a clean sheet and a new start .

Your DP doesn't sound like he's capable of being nice anymore its probably for the best that you are looking for somewhere else. Fingers crossed you are out of there by Xmas! (((hugs)))

alittleone2, I was following your story when it started, and stayed quiet. But I came back to the thread every day to see if there were news from you, hoping that things got better. You sound like a very very reasonable and capable woman. A very nice woman too. Please leave this bloke asap. Cut your losses and go away while you still have your self-esteem.

Crap thing the redundancy, I hope you get another job really fast. The sooner you and your dd get away from him the better you'll all be.

(One other thing that comes to my mind is that this bloke has a mental illness that is going unrecognised and - obviously - untreated. What you described seems to be beyond anything 'normal'. The ups and downs happen just too fast and too frequently. He needs some professional help!)

Starfish i agree with you. I've been reading this post and this bloke sounds a little bi polar ish, the upset, depression, name calling, remorse, then caring, gifts, promises etc. my husband was DX mild bi polar, he went on mild medication which calmed things down so we were able to sucessfully go to councelling and learn how to deal with it. of course the biggest hurdle is getting someone to admit they have a chemical inbalance. Littleone, if he is not willing to admit he has a problem and seek help then you do need to go, you have to protect yourself and your child. the more you allow him to abuse you (which it is) then the worse the abuse WILL get.
Good luck.

Poor you, you really are having it tough. I don't have much in the way of advice but i think sticking to your guns is best thing. You sound like a strong woman and a fab mum. I hope things get better very soon for you.

Right ok i have read some bits to this and wondered what way i can help. Im a vet nurse and a mum to a 6 year old son. I was bored and married to my sons dad,i warned him several times that i was bored and tired working nights and looking after my then baby and that if he didnt help then i would leave. He didnt,i left! A year later,he planned and took my son off me. He took him for 2 weeks during the holidays and never returned him for 6 weeks, (i saw my 4 year old son once),he went to courts the day he should of returned him and told them i was an abusive and bad mother and my son was scarred of me - total bullshit! I got full custody last december! The courts told him that he had tried to make a case and just shot himself in the foot! So i won there and he told me he lied in court to get me back! Anyway,i survived and learnt.(i got all my support on here - my origional name was Sadmuppet if the thread still is here).

So the kitten/cat thing! Either get rid of the cat.Phone the rspca tell them you cannot keep the cat,put it up for rehoming - they will take it. OR go to your vets ask them for some PROTEXIN paste for the diarrhoea,feed the cat minced chicken/fish for 48 hours to stop the diarrhoea (tesco do a value bag i think and so do Pets at Home).

If you leave him - if you take the daughter with you,and you work TRUST me that you will be financially better off! You get help to rent a house,(my council pay £240 a month),you get reduced council tax, tax credits (i get £345 a month),CHB, CSA i get £194 a month. And im my own boss here in this house with my son.

LISTEN TO ME LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO PUT UP WITH SHIT AND CRAP THAT IS TAKEN FOR GRANTED FROM US WOMEN. I LEFT A FOUR BED HOUSE IN THE COUNTRY WITH A TWO HUNDRED FOOT GARDEN CAUSE I WAS BORED WITH HIM DOING NOTHING TO HELP ME,I FELT LIKE A MAID AND UN LOVED. NOW IM IN A RENTED TWO UP TWO DOWN TERRACED WITH A GARDEN SO SMALL YOU CAN HOP ROUND IT,BUT IM SURVIVING WITH MY HEAD HELD HIGH.

STAND TALL,TAKE NO SHIT AND SORT IT OUT. DONT BE BULLIED BY THIS ARSE ....MOVE ON WITHOUT HIM.