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Original poster

Facebook dating

58 replies

famousforwrongreason · 09/11/2020 05:23

Promise this isn't an ad and sorry if it's already been discussed, couldn't find a rbtea.
Has anyone joined the new FB dating thing?
I and most of my friends have. Seems to be slim pickings in my area and age group.
First guy I spoke to asked for my number almost immediately, I said no and he completely disappeared.
Had a few 'Hi' messages, a couple of pulling teeth type conversations. One guy who can do complete sentences and more my wavelength but I'm not attracted to his pics (a very strong 'creative' look).
Another one who looks right up my street in pics but sent me a message saying 'you look and sound lovely'
Fine in itself but I haven't written anything about myself, and there's no voice recording so I'm guessing he's just blanket sending copied messages to everyone 🙄

OP posts:
RAOK · 09/11/2020 05:32

How do you join?

CodenameVillanelle · 09/11/2020 05:37

How is it different to all the other dating sites?

Original poster
famousforwrongreason · 09/11/2020 06:45

@RAOK

How do you join?
I mainly use FB on my phone and noticed a heart icon at the top of the page, alongside all the other icons like the marketplace and gaming ones. Clicked on it and it gave me prompts to set up profile. You can add as little or as much info / pics as you want
OP posts:
Original poster
famousforwrongreason · 09/11/2020 07:01

@CodenameVillanelle

How is it different to all the other dating sites?
Still finding my way around. The benefit for me is that it's free (so far). They don't match you with fb 'friends' but tells you of you have mutual friends and who they are so easier to have a little fact finding mission prior to chatting. There's not a massive amount of people on there at the moment in my geographical area so it can feel a bit of a wasteland. another big bonus for me is that you can block people prior to having spoken to them, for example one who was suggested for me is a nasty misogynist friend of my ex bf, I was able to block him immediately which felt safer than some sites. An annoyance is that you have to say yes or no to a person's profile before you can move to the next person which is kinda how tinder works but still a bit too much of a decisive action for me But to counteract that it gives you the chance to trawl through the dross you previously tossed, so could be handy if you swiped too soon but you have to go through the whole pack sometimes before you find the one that got away! Also like that it's not a separate app and feels less seedy/creepy in some ways as you have a lot more power, it feels more user friendly. There's still creeps on there tho! It gives opportunity to add link to your instafeed too. One guy has included his ig and it's full of pics of him with another woman! Lots more of the usual offerings , bad selfies from below, heavy reliance on pics of kids to do the talking and 'if you want to know more just ask' or 'if u write it here we'll have nothing to talk about when we meet' . One guys profile pic was a really bad close up of fish chips and ketchup. Lots of guys in Corona masks as well hi speed bikes and lycra stylie. One who sent me a series of crap 'hows your day?' messages. I replied 'it was good, how about you?' he replied 'it was boring nothing to do'. Instant turn on Grin Although it's quite basic in many ways, It feels like they've done their research.
OP posts:
ASorryTale · 09/11/2020 07:13

One guys profile pic was a really bad close up of fish chips and ketchup.

Married.

Unless they say that they are teachers or something (and provide evidence of that pretty quickly) I would never trust anyone who didn't have their face on a profile pic. it's an automatic no/block.

Original poster
famousforwrongreason · 10/11/2020 15:04

@ASorryTale

One guys profile pic was a really bad close up of fish chips and ketchup.

Married.

Unless they say that they are teachers or something (and provide evidence of that pretty quickly) I would never trust anyone who didn't have their face on a profile pic. it's an automatic no/block.

Hmm yes I hadn’t thought of that. When old was first a thing I never used a profile pic. Tbh my job was quite high profile in the community at the time and there was still a certain stigma attached. NoW I always use a if but I’ve noticed when I’ve had IT glitches and no pic attached I still seem to attract as many people!
OP posts:
Gilmoregoals · 10/11/2020 17:29

Does it drag through pictures/info from your fb profile or can you control exactly what is seen in the dating bit? (Thinking kids/exH pics...)
Also does your normal Facebook feed show you are on the dating bit?

Original poster
famousforwrongreason · 11/11/2020 00:25

@Gilmoregoals

Does it drag through pictures/info from your fb profile or can you control exactly what is seen in the dating bit? (Thinking kids/exH pics...) Also does your normal Facebook feed show you are on the dating bit?
No you get to choose all your own pics. It doesn't show to anyone else and if your FB 'friends'are on there it doesn't let them see you or vice versa. Although it will show you if you have mutual friends so you could potentially check them out depending on their settings and the same for you from them. Not sure if can change the mutuals thing, personally the more info I can gather, the better! Pretty sure it allows you to put a different name or certainly to remove your surname.
OP posts:
Inthesameboatatmo · 11/11/2020 15:36

I've just joined it after ready your op.
Slim pickings indeed . But worth a shot for a laugh if nothing else

sunnysunshine40 · 11/11/2020 17:16

I've also joined it from finding out about it from you OP. Very slim pickings indeed ..lol

Inthesameboatatmo · 11/11/2020 17:45

A much needed ego boost for me though .
Feel like I've been beating them back with as shitty stick lol

lovellost · 11/11/2020 18:00

I tried joining it but later deleted it. Terrified that my friends would recognize me or find out with it being Facebook. I would die of embarrassment 🙈

Inthesameboatatmo · 11/11/2020 18:22

Oh no lovllost I dont think anyone can see

TheresGotToBeMoreToLife · 11/11/2020 20:05

I've had a look. It definitely brings up some people I've not seen on tinder and bumble but jesus! Slim pickings indeed.

Gilmoregoals · 11/11/2020 20:26

I ended up joining. Slim pickings here too, a couple of new faces, but most of the usual suspects from bumble/tinder/hinge.

Also lots of 'looking for my princess' type comments which I find a bit grim.

I have just matched with a very good looking guy but a bit too scared to message (and he hasn't messaged me yet either so...Grin)

Inthesameboatatmo · 11/11/2020 21:00

@Gilmoregoals I've had few like that today . It's a but nerve wracking for me to say the least . This is my first attempt at old

Original poster
famousforwrongreason · 11/11/2020 21:03

@Inthesameboatatmo

A much needed ego boost for me though . Feel like I've been beating them back with as shitty stick lol
Wow! You're doing great 😜
OP posts:
Original poster
famousforwrongreason · 11/11/2020 21:04

@Gilmoregoals

I ended up joining. Slim pickings here too, a couple of new faces, but most of the usual suspects from bumble/tinder/hinge.

Also lots of 'looking for my princess' type comments which I find a bit grim.

I have just matched with a very good looking guy but a bit too scared to message (and he hasn't messaged me yet either so...Grin)

Eek! Good luck! I have matched with a few but I'm trying not to make first contact this time around as when I do it usually doesn't end well. So there's a few in my matched box but neither of us messaging the other. A nice awkward impasse
OP posts:
Gilmoregoals · 11/11/2020 21:08

@Inthesameboatatmo same here. H left at the start of the year so just starting to dip my toe in the waters...i am finding it challenging! Can't really figure out how to navigate the fact that I have kids (and don't want more) but as I am mid 30s most of the guys seem to be childless and still looking to settle down... I think that makes the pickings even slimmer!

Gilmoregoals · 11/11/2020 21:10

@famousforwrongreason yeah impasse is the word.
And awkward is my middle name. I have no idea how to start these things!

Inthesameboatatmo · 11/11/2020 21:35

Famousforallthewrongreasons .
Thank you, i was a bit taken aback by it . Not quite the gentle start I was hoping for , but fun nonetheless

Inthesameboatatmo · 11/11/2020 21:38

Gilmoregoals.
Same am fairly newly separated myself , mid 40s dont want anymore kids and most of them have no children so it's going to prove a bit tricky to say the least .
Good luck in your search though

Original poster
famousforwrongreason · 13/11/2020 00:32

[quote Gilmoregoals]@famousforwrongreason yeah impasse is the word.
And awkward is my middle name. I have no idea how to start these things![/quote]
Yeah me too. Ive recently started to make a big deal of being 'quirky' so it doesn't scare them later on.
It scares them early on instead

OP posts:
Gilmoregoals · 13/11/2020 07:05

handsome man that liked me was just after casual sex and that's not really my bag; at least he was clear about his intentions I guess.
I have since been liked by a man whose profile pictures consist entirely of him standing next to his car at petrol stations....Hmm

Inthesameboatatmo · 13/11/2020 07:25

@Gilmoregoals.
Well I had a guy last night tell me iwas so beautiful that when I went out men must run up behind me like horny dogs . Omg . Blocked .