Online dating in your 40s - Part 2

[StarlightSparkle]

New thread as I don’t think we are anywhere near done on this subject!

Think I need stop swiping, tonight I've been called an idiot for making a joke after someone asked where I lived on the very first question and I said a pineapple under the sea(obviously had a sense of humour bypass) another asked me if I was into BDSM 😳(not in his profile).

@Angelofdeath I know right. I just thought a bit of humour to break the ice, he could have come back with something witty but instead he was rude. I messaged a few more not sure if any will message back.

at the slippers, I'm like that with shoes.

I rejected someone earlier as he obviously doesn't do leg day.

@Angelofdeath and @Isitreally77 you ladies are soooo funny!

I am currently off the apps and taking a break. The last guy I was chatting to seemed very keen to meet up but when I told him I wasn’t free for a couple of weeks he then went quiet on me. I’ve given him a couple of days to respond but have now blocked and unmatched. I really can’t be arsed and have a lot of other stuff going on at the moment.

I’ve felt happier since deleting the apps but my chances of ever meeting anyone have gone from slim to non-existent! I might try again after lockdown.

I agree with you isitreally that a bit of humour is refreshing after enduring lots of ‘how are you? How is your week going?’ type conversations. They are very dull. A while ago I started chatting to a guy and made a joke at his expense after which there was a long delay to him replying. I did think ‘have I gone too far?’ but he responded in the end and saw the funny side! It did kickstart some banter and we ended up going on a date, though it went no further.

If that guy would call you an idiot for making a joke he’s not worth talking to.

Angel that sounds really infuriating! Why even bother suggesting to meet if you’re going to be so evasive. Bloody useless men.

@Angelofdeath laughing at slippers - like who would want any potential love interest to see them in their slippers 😂
@Isitreally77 he’s a knob. I matched with a guy who was ‘sarcastic’ which was just another word for rude and any jokes I made were met with rude responses - banter apparently

Thanks everyone, I actually reported him when I unmatched with him. He has obviously never watched spongebob Square pants but there was no need to be rude. I just wanted a bit of light hearted banter.

He wouldn't have been much fun though.

I just want to scream.

You may recall last Tuesdays date went very well, got on really well and had a brief snog at the end of the evening. Had been in contact since, short funny messages as neither of us like long tiresome all evening messaging, with the odd quick chat. All good.
He wanted to cook for me this week as we couldn't go out, I was a bit uncomfortable at going to his house after only meeting him once so said I'd like to meet for takeout coffee and a walk at the weekend first, which we did. Was lovely, got on really well, he suggested a second coffee, sat and talked for ages and agreed to meet Wednesday at his for dinner.
Yesterday morning more messaging, all normal, a bit more flirty than usual but also making plans for Wednesday.
This morning I get a message saying he's sorry but he can't make Wednesday. I replied saying did he want to reschedule. This evening I get a message saying 'no, sorry. Good luck x'
I'm just so wtaf. I know he's single, so it's not that.
I just don't get how within 24 hours someone can do a complete u turn!
I just replied saying he was a man of very mixed messages.
I'm really cross.
What in earth has he achieved, I don't get it!
I was so happy over the weekend that I'd actually finally met someone that I really clicked with and also really fancied. He said he liked and fancied me too and I was the first date that he'd been on that he'd actually liked.
God this is so hard, plus I'm 51 now and I just feel like I'm never going to meet anyone. It's taken me 6 dates to finally land one with someone where there's mutual attraction (or so I thought) and then he behaves like a d**k 😩

Thanks Angel I just don't understand what is going through his head. If he was just after sex surely he would have carried on his charade until Wednesday. Otherwise I've no idea what changed from Sunday morning to Monday morning.
I'm less cross this morning, although having looked at what on offer on the apps I'm a bit 🙄

Angel I've had all my dates from Match but having been on there since August it's just the same faces. I often think what's wrong with them if they're still on there, but then I have to remember that applies to me too!
I'm on Hinge and Bumble too, have had chats on both but it never leads to a date.
Not sure I can do POF or Tinder, but might have to cast the net a bit wider.
Aforementioned weird bloke goes to my gym so once it's open we may bump into each other, if we do I will ask him Wtaf he was playing at.
Either he met someone else on Sunday that he preferred ( he told me he had his children) but then he's been on Match last night and this morning so maybe not, maybe he just likes the thrill of the chase.
50 year old man, needs to grow up!

@VivaVegas - What a shitty thing to do! Im so sorry! I think thats why Im staying off, I just wouldnt be able to see any positives in OLD at the moment because they all seem so flaky, I would feel like Im walking eggshells waiting to be ghosted rather than enjoying the experience.

@Isitreally77 - I lolled at the Pineapple reference-he obviously doesn't have sense of humor....next!

@Angelofdeath - he sounds like Mr Flaky also, he is obviously very busy and doesnt know when hes free lol....why be on a dating app? Its very bizzare.

I swipe left because of all sorts of reasons:
Top off
Beer in hand in every picture
Weird footwear (socks and sandals)
Wearing a necklace
Giving it the bird
Flexing their guns
Shades on on every picture
Really, really close up pictures....loads do that, Im not sure why!
.......am I too picky???

I swipe left for a lot too:

Smoker
Top off
Tongue out
With children
With random woman
Wedding ring

The list goes on.

I'm quite picky, I thought I was a good judge of character and up until this week had managed to avoid the players. I went off piste with this one, not my type, but I hadn't fancied any I thought were my type so thought worth a shot - that'll teach me!

So a child free long weekend ahead without the distraction I had hoped would be around. Tips for keeping sane please ladies!

Feeling thoroughly fed up, combination of actually finding someone I fancied, thought of some company/fun during lockdown oh and exh has just moved into the house he's bought with the OW he left me for - all a bit too much for one week!

@VivaVegas - Sorry to hear you're having a rough week. Did you ask Mr Flaky why the sudden U Turn? Did he give you any kind of reason?
Sorry abouth Exh too....its shitty when everything seems to work out for the ex's isnt it! If he left you for her, then he can leave her for someone else, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a cheat!

Im really hoping better things are around the corner for all of us lovely ladies.

Im trying to just be happy in my own skin and get my confidence back again, then Im hoping things may fall into place in my romantic life.
I always seem to meet someone when Im feeling good about myself and not looking, so who knows!?

@Angelofdeath - I dont do necklaces or rings on men

I’ve been finding chains on men most attractive since Paul Mescal in Normal people 😂 now a short chain, not a medallion

I've been speaking to a different guy. He seems really polite and intelligent. I've run out of things to say! I'm finding myself googling for ideas

I feel like conversations have a certain turning point where one person gets bored and stops replying and it's putting me off speaking at all.

I'm struggling today, I've been swiping and chatting to a couple but nothing exciting. I feel disappointed as I had such a connection with Mr Computer Geek and I'm not getting that with anyone else right now (he has gone quiet today though). The how are you messages are getting tedious.

I've found recently that complimenting them on something in their pictures early on seems to get back a better quality of message. If there is something to compliment anyway! And nothing over the top.

No I didn't ask Flaky why he did a complete uturn in 24 hours, wish I had now. Although no guarantees I would have got an answer. At least he didn't just ghost me I suppose. He was on the app last night, this morning and tonight so he's clearly still looking! Idiot, could have had me for company instead!
I need to stop thinking and move on!

I agree that some chats just flow much easier than others, and to be honest I don't want to share lots of private stuff with a stranger. Flaky and I had fun, short messages and quick calls which I liked, no need for epic messages all evening.

Thanks for the ideas, I have written a list of things that need to be done at home to get stuck into when I'm home alone at the weekend. Need a distraction!

Ladies can I once again seek your expertise. I'm going on my 4th date this afternoon...we are just going to his house for lunch. I'm happy enough to go to his house but I'm just not sure I want to DTD yet. Its not that I don't want to but it's more a timing thing and the fact I've never been anyone apart from my ex. Should I just go with it...any advice? He has told me already theres absolutely no pressure.