Online dating in your 40s - Part 2

[StarlightSparkle]

New thread as I don’t think we are anywhere near done on this subject!

@VivaVegas - Youre right, you would get a flaky response if one at all!
@OutingMyself, its hard going through the mundane, how are you, what have you been up to, what do you do in your spare time .....yawn yawn yawn!
@Angelofdeath - Have you seen anymore of Mr Schoolrun? Is he anymore talkative yet
I haven't been on the apps apart from this morning, I had a notification that I had a "super like!", so thought...this is it, this is the guy, I've found him! So went on and I cant find anyone thats given me a super-like...was probably an accident and hes deleted his profile in case I like him back

I'm not sure whether it's because I'm having a stressful time at work, having withdrawal symptoms from the gym(I usually do at least an hour every day) or lockdown stress but I'm really not feeling happy at the moment. I'm talking to other men now but I'm literally sat here thinking what's the point.

Mr Computer Geek is pissing me off, I thought friends would work and up until Monday everything seemed okay, he told me about his stressful day yesterday and asked how I was so I told him about my rubbish day and nothing not a word from him. He always tells me about his issues, a bit of sympathy back from him would be nice. It's like since Monday he has had a personality transplant. Rant over🤣

@Isitreally77 - Sorry you're having a hard time, we are in crazy times, and I feel for people that used the gym, pools etc as stress relief, I know its hard now we all seem to hemmed in our houses again!
Regarding the conversation with men that just seem to talk about themselves....Ive had LOADS of those, in the end I just unmatch, its really depressing, I dont understand why people match, message and then dont ask you anything and we are left doing all the hard-work...from what I've learned from my past relationships, men are selfish! Sorry Im not more positive!

@Angelofdeath yeah he was very keen on an overnight but did suggest separate rooms. Today really is just for a few hours though so I'm happy enough that way.

@LuckyLinda3 I was exact same - in fact i was absolutely terrified at the thought of dtd with anyone else after exH- he was my one and only. My advice is to go with it and don’t have it front and centre of your thoughts when you are with him. When I eventually lost my post marriage virginity it was lovely and made me want more! I kind of pushed myself to go with it tbh because it was this ‘big thing’ and it was a relief to go with it.
@Isitreally77 you don’t seem to be getting anything from this man. I would be considering putting him in the do not need pile! Can you honestly say having him in the background is not holding you back from considering anyone else. I’m speaking from experience where I let an iron under my skin and until I actually told myself he is not for me anymore I was still holding out hope. Hope this doesn’t read harshly:)
I was supposed to meet a guy for coffee today as he was passing nearby but he is being vague about when he might be around and he knows I have a window until a certain time! I’m not going to beg him! Flakiness strikes again

@Angelofdeath - I have an image in my head of a long line of people walking along a path with him checking you out from behind .
Is it a bit odd that he cant hold a conversation with you, its not like you're gonna jump him there and then are you
Well, when I checked in to see who had super-liked me, there was a message from a guy who was nice looking, good job, normal distance, nice message....so i replied, that was 5 hours ago and no reply from him! I should have just stayed off it!

@Angelofdeath - I never found Mr Super-like, the message was from another guy...Ill call him Mr Design, but Im not holding my breath....although I noticed Mr Design had liked me on another app a couple of weeks ago...so who knows!
I accidentally super liked a weight lifter with bigger tits than mine a very large frame the other day...he messaged me within 1 minute, I did have the decency to tell him it was accidental though
@Mayzee -Tell him to fuck off you're an extremely busy lady and you're not waiting around

@Angelofdeath lolling at Mr Field . He obviously likes his fields There are some strange pics arent there?
I had a guy like me who had hair down to his shoulders, and he had brushed it all over his face...odd! His next pic he was bald!
Just had a quick scroll through to see if Mr Design has unmatched me, and saw a profile that read "I have a massive..." I couldn't see anymore unless I scrolled, but I was thinking FFS, why do they have to be so crude...I scrolled down and it carried on saying "interest in my hobbies!. OOOPS...Im so negative

Thanks ladies. Not harsh at all @Mayzee. I suppose deep down I do hope that one day it changes, we had great chemistry and banter in the beginning. He did message earlier and ask how my day is going and if I had heard any more news about the gyms. He said it's really messy for him at the moment so I reckon something has happened. I might take a break from him for a bit, he knows how to get hold of me if he wants to chat.

@Mayzee thank you for that. I can 100% relate to what you said. As it turns out we just had lunch and relaxed for a few hours with some intimacy!! Nice not to feel pressured but I do think it's a bridge I need to cross! Sorry about your experience but at least you are strong and respecting yourself!!

Luckylinda I was in a similar position last year when I had my first relationship following a 25 year marriage. The guy was in the same position which helped and it was absolutely fine, infact we went on to have a very passionate relationship and it was brilliant.
I had a brief thing with another guy earlier this week and didn't think twice about it.
I would love to find that passion again!

Earlier this year, sadly not earlier this week - well I nearly had until he blew me out 🤣

@VivaVegas thank you. I think we could be passionate too but I'm just nervous...its not that I'm thinking of my ex but it's just a big deal for me. Thank God hes not pushing the issue and maybe as @Mayzee said I just need to go for it. It really is great to have all your help, I dont feel theres anyone else I can ask.

@LuckyLinda3 I was so so nervous. Me and ex has a crap sex life and it had been years so it really did feel like losing my virginity 😂But it was lovely and it made me like sex again and see what I was missing. There has just been one other and I was so relaxed with him. I think I had it built up so much in my head that I really considered not bothering dating because I felt like I would be awful at that side of it🙈
And it is great to have this thread as I would never have this conversation with anyone! Or even know anyone to ask.
I got a really funny message from one today actually referencing something on my profile which made me laugh but he looked like my dads age why can’t the attractive ones be like that

Ugh @Angelofdeath like you want to think about being sexy and a mummy at the same time or some randomer thinking that!

So I told Mr Computer Geek I was going to take a step back, let him try and get his head together, (sort myself out in the process, I'm not in a good place either at the moment really), I offered to be there as a friend if he needed it and told him he knows how to contact me. He said he loved chatting to me, he is sorry for being distant and he would have loved to be able to take some of my stress away if he could and his life wasn't such a mess. As hard as it was I think its the best thing for me (and him), he knows how to get hold of me. This one has really been tough on me though.

Isitreally much as it's tough I think it's for the best as I'm not sure what you are gaining from the contact. Hope you feel better about things soon.

So Flaky who blew me out for our 3rd date tonight has been online on Match every time I've been on so he clearly didn't have a better offer. I met a friend for a walk at lunch today and was telling her and she was the same that it just doesn't make sense. He either just wants validation or an ego trip or he just didn't want me to discover his tiny dick! Either way given we appeared to get on really well and found each other attractive I have to say it's been disappointing knowing we've both been sat on our own on Match whereas dinner, wine and sex would have been much more fun!

Does anyone know what it means if a guy has the green crown next to their name on a Match profile?

I have googled and looked on the Match website but can't find the answer?