Online dating in your 40s - Part 2

[StarlightSparkle]

New thread as I don’t think we are anywhere near done on this subject!

Well I heard from Mr Computer Geek, apparently he was at the hospital all day and didn't check his phone at all. He was very apologetic, telling me how useless he is right now and how it isn't the person he usually is. He also said I deserve so much better. He still wants to chat etc.

I replied saying I understand but he also must understand why I felt the way I did. I also explained my anxiety and stress is right up and I'm having nightmares due to that. I also said happy to chat and meet as friends as that is what we both need right now. He said he was grateful for the message.

I dunno maybe a friend is what he needs more than a lover. But at least he got back to me.

@Angelofdeath - Make myself cum....fgs, i did lol though when I read that! Just what goes on in their tiny little heads...not much obvs!
Im feeling better staying off the apps, Im hoping fate might step regarding my dating....yeah right! 64 and 140 miles away shaking head and tutting At least he wasn't 140 and 64 miles away (would that be much different!)
@littleloopylou - get your thick skin ready for OLD!

@Isitreally77 - At the hospital all day and not look at your phone? Really! I cant imagine they are very interesting busy places at the minute, all people do at the hospital is look at their phone! Sorry, he sounds like hes keeping you on the back burner at his convenience.

@Isitreally77 I don't trust him...

@Angelofdeath maybe we should charge them for the crap we receive online

Thanks ladies nor do I, I'm just happy he got back to me. The ship has sailed as far as I'm concerned, he had his chance. It doesn't matter how hot he is, I don't trust him and don't feel he is being honest with me.

@Isitreally77 I'm glad you're moving on. We don't want him to hurt you further

@Angelofdeath the hot ones get away with more so true... I've always said this!

Lol I think we'd all be better off financially.... oh the joys of OLD!

Wish it wasn't so hard to get a FWB if not a relationship... don't think I'm asking for much. I just think there's so much competition online and I was never good at competitions

Thanks all - seems we all have the same opinion of the majority of men OLD at the moment....it's not great.

Still messaging Mr Blue but that's all, Not replied to Mr Green but might do tomorrow and am ignoring Mr Masturbate

I was messaging Mr Computer Geek last night but not as anything other than friends (we were talking about what we plan to do to keep our fitness going now the gyms are shut), I think he does just want a friend at the moment. He did say he hopes he will be in a better place once lockdown is over but we've agreed to do the friend thing. I still don't trust him but am happy if he wants to chat and meet as friends. As I said to him, it's far less complicated.

I tried swiping again yesterday but my heart just wasn't in it. I do think as you all have said a break for a few days may be good. I let this one get under my skin and fell for his sob stories.

Thank you @Angelofdeath 🥰 my walls are well and truly up on this one now.

@Isitreally77 Good to hear your walls are up. Are you sure it's worth the effort of being friends with him after how he's behaved? There's every chance he believes he's got you firmly on the hook and can reel you in whenever he likes. It sounds like he's treating you mean to keep you keen.

I've started swiping right again already 🙄 I've somehow managed to get a very good looking guy who is 8 years younger than me interested. Not sure that will go anywhere!

I also keep getting into conversations with guys where it's like getting blood from a stone to speak to them. Just endless back and forth 'how are you' type shit that they never take any further. If they're that interested why not actually ask a question or say something interesting?

@OutingMyself I don't know but I'll give it a shot, he is good to talk to. I can't see him now for 4 weeks anyway.

I'm currently moping after my gym instructor again, he commented on my weight loss the other night and told me I looked really good(I've lost just under a stone since August). I skipped out of the gym . Shame he isn't interested in a relationship as he is one of the kindest men I've ever met and he is fit to go with it.

I'm finally kind of moving on mentally from being turned down by someone in real life. It's definitely being helped by my ridiculous fantasises about this young, very good looking, OLD guy I'm now talking to 😁

@Angelofdeath lol 'FFS what now?' whenever you get a message.... funny how much time changes our outlook on OLD.

@Isitreally77 wouldn't it be great if your gym instructor was interested. Well done about your weight loss. I hope you find someone reliable and less complicated then Mr Computer Geek to chat to.

@OutingMyself how is it going with young hot guy? It's hard being turned down in real life... that's happened to me a few times in the past.

I may go back online after lockdown. I'm communicating with a guy I saw previously but he's not into me.. just wants physical..not even finding that appealing.. Maybe its his attitude.

Hi ladies, hope you are all well. Can I call on your experience again please. So I have now met my current OLD option 3 times. We get on well and chat easily and openly. As I'm only about a year separated I've told him I'm not rushing into anything nor am I telling the kids too early. He has asked me to his several times and I've refused as I'm not ready to stay overnight and with covid restrictions he is slightly beyond the limit I can travel. He seems ok but frustrated by this. I have been open and told him there are limitations with me at the minute that there might not be with others but he says hes happy to wait. That said in the past few days I've noticed a significant dip in communication from him. I messaged him yesterday at 3 different points in the day...he always replies but was quite dry...to be fair he works 13 hr shifts and it was his first day off this week. Hes working again today and I normally always get a morning text but today nothing. I dont know whether to text or just leave it and see how long it takes him to get in contact. I'm quite stubborn but I think hes starting to see the difficulties now. All advice welcome. Hope this makes sense.

@LuckyLinda3 I think it may be because you've declined to go to his.....
Regarding his communication...it doesn't take long to send a message especially if you have a romantic interest in someone.
I could be wrong.

I would probably wait to see if he messaged me.

You're doing better than most of us... three dates with the same guy

@LuckyLinda3 I posted about quite similar on the main dating thread. I’m trying to sit on my hands and not initiate any more contact as I suggested a meet Friday and he couldn’t (or didn’t want to) but hasn’t been in touch since. I’m thinking he’s doing a slow fade out but not sure as he was working and could genuinely be busy. (Though can see he’s been online!🙈)
As hard as it would be to hear I would prefer someone told me straight out that they are not interested any more than have this crap!
In your case he might just be back in work mode today and not in form for chatting but could also be pulling back on the comms for any number of reasons. I think I would leave it up to him to make the next move at this stage.
The last time this happened to me I didn’t hear from the guy for 3 weeks and then he crawled back with a ‘I was busy’ which showed me where I was in his priorities so needless to say I didn’t go back there.

@sugarlost thanks for your reply. I had just finished my post and he messaged. To be fair he works with people with very challenging behaviour and sometimes cant text at work. He said he was exhausted yesterday which is understandable after 4 straight 13hr days. He was out at a beautiful beach for the day with a client and the nurse and said he would take me there soon. I may have jumped the gun it seems. I've been lucky in one sense, I've met 4 guys and they all wanted to see me again....still I just think it takes time and I dont want to rush into something or waste someone's time either.

@Mayzee thank you. I agree, just let me know. I think I'm ok for now but I also think I'm quite poor at times when it comes to communicating...I'm kinda sitting back almost more like the men do! I dont need a man so I'll only bother if I actually like him enough to want to spend time with him. That said I wont disrespect or waste someone's time.

@LuckyLinda3 that’s good and I’m glad I was wrong 😊
I have not managed to get beyond date 3 with anyone yet although mr disappearing act did ask to see me again just recently! An offer that I politely declined