Online dating in your 40s - Part 2

[StarlightSparkle]

New thread as I don’t think we are anywhere near done on this subject!

@Isitreally77's walk must be going well

Hope she is ok

Oh yes, me too.

Well he didn't turn up. He changed it to 4pm last night, 4.20 comes along and he hasn't shown up I message him saying were my directions that crap. He responds with he is having problems with his children but can we do later. I say yes fine but that time comes and nothing and he doesn't show up again. I get a message 30 minutes later asking if I would drive his way so we can meet, he is with a mate apparently(why when you have arranged to meet someone would you go and see a mate). This is at 8.30pm, I'm like no definitely not tonight but am happy to drive to see him tomorrow. Absolutely nothing from him since. I'm fucking fuming, I gave him another chance and I've been mugged off again. 😤

I’m so so sorry. You need to bin him off. Don’t let anyone treat you like that. Yes a little bit late can be excusable with children. Don’t believe about the mate, sorry.
I’m fuming for you.

I've not commented on here before but been following.

literally what an absolute fucking prick! I'm so very sorry, you must be beyond disappointed.

I was in your exact situation almost a year ago to the day, the difference is he did turn up. I've now been pissed about for over a year. Don't be me...it could be a blessing in disguise although doesn't seem it.

Sorry isitreally

And hello everyone I hope it's ok if I join.. I'm very nearly 40 🙂

I met said guy last year Mr Flat, who is still very much under my skin. We dated for a while, he ended it but still keeps in touch and flirts. I like him very much and want him back but need to grow up and realise that won't happen.

I want to get back on the apps and take my mind off him.

Thanks all, I'm just a bit gutted, it was his suggestion to meet too. I know he is having a tough time but what a shit move to rearrange and then not turn up and not even message. I deserve a bit more respect than that as I've been nothing but nice to him. In fact I've just sent him a message saying exactly that.

You need to block he obviously thinks this behaviour is acceptable. It seems like he's massaging his ego and just checking that you have been waiting around for him. Only you can stop this unfortunately @Isitreally77 . People can be such arseholes I'm really sorry this has happened. I'm like you wanting to give the benefit of the doubt but hold your head up high and tell him to eff off

So sorry he's messed you around Isit. His behaviour is not acceptable and you need to forget about him, he's a waste of your time.
Also, to want to meet someone outside for the first time, it should definitely be in daylight so pushing it back to 4pm wasn't great anyway but also given current lockdown restrictions why is he with a friend? I think he's probably lying and is still married/in his relationship.

For your own self worth, delete him and put him in the past.

@Isitreally77 I’m sorry to hear what happened-I was hoping Mr CG would finally come through for you.
But he didn’t, he treated you disrespectfully and basically continued his flaky pattern.
Please please do not give him another chance to do this to you. You are worth so much more. No personal difficulties gives someone a license to be a dick And I don’t believe his excuses.

Oh what a complete twat. I'm so sorry.

Please don't stay in touch with him now. He's not worth all of this. You gave him another chance and he's fucked you around again. Imagine how he'd treat you if you did somehow get together. And he was with a friend?! He is purely fucking you around on purpose. You really need to delete and block him for good.

I agree with PP sorry Isitreally 77 what a tosser you don't need this even when people have shit going on they can still have manners and let you know in advance but he has messed you around before - you are worth more - if he does this now he will see it as ok to carry on messing you around - you are worth so much more - put yourself on a pedestal and kick his sorry butt to the kerb - block him and value yourself! X

Morning everyone, well I had a rubbish night's sleep. I sent Mr Computer Geek a message last night telling him , I wouldn't have minded if he had cancelled but to rearrange and not even turn up or message was a shit move. That I know he is having it tough but he should have some respect for me as I've been nothing but nice to him. I then went to sleep, woke up at 11.30pm with a couple of messages from him, it was blatantly obvious he was pissed as I was getting messages asking if we could meet and I'm like no it's midnight and we are in lockdown not the best time. This went on until 1.30am it only stopped when I literally said I'll meet him for a walk today (and he can explain what the hell happened) and that I'm going to sleep. He did say sorry in the end.

This morning I get a good morning message asking how I am. I say tired had 3 hours sleep. He tells me he is shattered and feels like shit. I say I have no sympathy. He said he would still love to see me🤦‍♀️.

I know he has moved out, I know he is probably a mess but ffs does this man not know what he did was unacceptable, I want to meet him just to give him a right hook (I miss my boxing classes so it would be good practice). I hope his hangover was worth it.

Isitreally77 You must be feeling rubbish after a few hours sleep. Obviously we can only give you advice and it’s up to you if listen or not, not here to jjudge. The only thing I would say is that, do you really want someone just out of a relationship when they haven’t healed themselves and taken the time to be on their own, do you want to be the rebound, the person to get him through this tough time and then they mostly go onto someone else. He is probably loving it that you are waiting for him and he can treat you like he did last night. Your even making excuses for him, he must of been drunk. If you start doing that your on a slippery slope in my opinion but it is only my opinion. Please take care if you do meet him today and let us know how you get on.
Take care of you and your feelings in all this and not someone who you haven’t even met yet xx

@Isitreally77 - Im sorry he treated you so badly, you do need to get rid, he sounds an absolute mess! He obviously doesn't have any respect for you, or himself by his actions. You have that inner strength to tell him to f**k off, find it and hold that head up high :) He will only bring you down. Keep us informed

Well the guy I was chatting to over the xmas period seems to have found himself a girlfriend in the space of a week!! We chatted on whatsapp, and his profile pic was just him, was scrolling through my whasapp a couple of days ago, and his pic is now of him kissing a womans head, and she took the photo.
Now I know nothing was coming of this anyway, but it has made me think, did he have a partner the whole time?/ I mean a week is pretty quick to upload your profile pic as a couple dont ya think!? MEN!

Sorry to hear that pineapple

Thing too is wtf are men on there doing without a picture? Must be still married or in a relationship - I have tons of likes from photoless men - who the hell do they think they are?!

A guy who looked at my profile (I never saw his before) has blocked me - wtf is that about? Honestly, only joined Friday and already thinking about coming off - it just seems to be a bunch of oddbods all in one place. None seem to have hair either - sorry to sound harsh. Bald does not bother me but I am struck by the total lack of hair!

I have updated my profile to say if they have no photo, I am not interested!

I would not block someone unless they had contacted me and been inappropriate - to block someone on the basis of their profile is just bizarre - mine is just photos and hobbies and none of them are odd!