Online dating in your 40s - Part 2

[StarlightSparkle]

New thread as I don’t think we are anywhere near done on this subject!

@Kat2000 thank you. I'm kind of nervous and excited (and also a little bit unsure as he has cancelled before), I can't get excited until he is standing in front of me. I said toy flatmate the other day I thought he would appear again and lo and behold he has. Now to plan what to wear.

*to my (not toy)

May I ask which apps/sites you recommend please? I tried Zoosk in the summer and wasn't impressed. What are you all on? thank you

Isitreally77 Ah I really hope he turns up this time, at least I suppose he suggested it so he might be feeling better in himself. What to wear when the weather is cold 🥶 just be comfortable and warm if I was you. Keep us updated please.

PilatesPeach Hi, I’m on match which you pay for, thought it you paid it would whittle out any idiots but you still get those on there. I have met some really nice men on there but nothing long lasting yet. Still hopeful when we can start meeting up again

@Kat2000 he seems like his old chatty self so maybe he is in a better place. I'm thinking pinafore dress, with tights and boots and a nice warm jacket.

Thanks @Kat2000, am happy enough to pay, I paid for Zoosk.

Okay I'm so paranoid, I've not heard from Mr Computer Geek all day and am now thinking he has done it to me again. The rational part of me thinks it's Saturday and as he is seeing me tomorrow he is probably on Daddy duties but the paranoid me just can't shake off that he has history for bailing and non communication the day before. I was so positive and excited yesterday(my flatmate has been nothing but negative mind you so that hasn't helped), and he was even messaging in the evening. Now I'm thinking why did I bother giving him another chance . I hope I'm wrong.

@Isitreally77 what time are you meeting tomorrow? He might be busy like you say but I think I would definitely check in either tonight or first thing in the morning- just a breezy ‘looking forward to meeting’ or something.

Well I did hear from him, now just waiting for him to confirm that tomorrow is still on. I need to chill and have a glass of gin I think.

@Angelofdeath I know, I should have given him the heave ho after the first couple of times but something stopped me. I just hope I'm not disappointed now.

@Mayzee meeting at 2pm so will definitely drop a looking forward to seeing message in the morning anyway.

@isitreally77 hope it goes well tomorrow

I joined Match yesterday. Interesting as every bloke says marriage is not important - I am not saying I want to get married but literally every bloke says not. Also find it odd when they say that they'd "rather not say" what their marital status is or if they have kids. Bizarre.

I have had quite alot of likes but only liked 3 myself and chatted to one but could tell we didn't have alot in common.

I have done the 100 profile shuffle - must confess am being brutal and looking at the photo asking myself "could I shag him" and if the answer is no, then I move on! Personality is important of course but you don't wake up to personality.

@PilatesPeach thank you it's been a long time (and a lot of tears) coming this one.

I'm like you if I don't think I'd shag them then there is no point in swiping right. You have to find them attractive too.

I hope it goes okay tomorrow! @Isitreally77

I have a Facebook crush on someone unavailable at the moment. I'm living on fantasises of him splitting up with his girlfriend and being interested in me 🤣

I was speaking to a really interesting guy on Tinder, but yet again I found him on Facebook. He looks nothing like his tinder pics and also obviously much shorter than me.

I've matched with another guy on there, but he is younger than me and really good looking (has decent pics from many angles and decent quality). He's sent me a flattering message, but I feel like I wouldn't be attractive enough for him 🤷‍♀️

@OutingMyself thank you.

I've I always question if I'm good enough. Mr Computer Geek is fit and for the life of me I can't understand what he saw in me to swipe right but he did. He said I looked interesting and now tells me how nice I am. I think we see ourselves differently to how others see us.

My hot gym instructor is giving off vibes again. I keep thinking it's his turn to ask. My friend said he definitely likes me.

I drank too much gin last night, now I don't feel as good as I should, I think I was trying to forget my nerves . I woke up at 1am to a message from Mr Computer Geek saying he couldn't make it for 2pm but more like 4pm if that was still okay. I'm going to be a bag of nerves all day now so I'm thinking I'm going to take myself off for a long walk and do the housework to keep my mind off it. I really hope he does turn up and he is all he seems.

Isitreally77. Wishing you all the best for today, waiting around is the worst part I think but fingers crossed it will all the worth it and you will know today one way or the other. Hope it’s not too cold out there today. Look forward to an update later.

Thank you @Kat2000 so far it's looking promising, he is actually messaging which is more than he did the last time we arranged to meet up and he cancelled. My nerves are off the scale right now. I'm so worried he won't look anything like his photos and will be a balding 60 year old or a spotty 16 year old. Completely stupid thoughts I've been reading too many dating horror stories on the Internet. 😂

@Isitreally77 so excited for you. I know it's easy to say but just relax, be your obviously lovely self and enjoy. Cant wait for the update.

Ooh @Isitreally77 I cannot wait for your update. Fingers crossed for great chemistry

Can I join you? I have downloaded dating apps several times, and usually deleted within a few days! Have met a couple of quite nice people, one I did like but he said he was no longer active on the app but was messaging from friend... delete..

Just before Christmas downloaded again, two I particularly liked initially, one I've discarded as showing some underlying narcissist red flag traits. The other one I've met up with 3 times for bloody freezing but lovely walks. This is the first time I have found some proper chemistry there (been single 4 years!). We are both in professional jobs in similar fields but my concerns are he smokes weed daily, I don't. He doesn't get off his face just mellow, has done it all his life, he is black, brought up in Jamaica. It doesn't bother me him doing it... I used to partake in all sorts in younger years, but I guess longer term could be an issue. Also, he describes himself as 'nocturnal', doesn't sleep well, has sleep apnea and goes to be around 1/2/3/4am. Clearly hasn't affected his job as was in long term employment with NHS until last year and now self employed doing same job. I am 10pm bed on school nights.... just seems we are so different in our lifestyles that I feel longer term it couldn't work and why get into it now... fear of getting hurt on ending it maybe.. I don't know. Also, I;m a super organised person who works too much, and he is very, very laid back, non organised and life is priority over work. Thoughts?

I’m thinking of isitreally77 and hoping things are going great for her, she has waited so long for him to be ready.
Hope she updates us tonight

yes also thinking of isitreally77

SwearsbyDrivesby - whilst he sounds nice, I couldn't be with someone who smoked weed or was noctural - not judging but just totally opposite to me and I just find some things are too big a difference and both would become bigger problems for me so I wouldn't keep it going but of course easy for me to say.