Online dating in your 40s - Part 2

[StarlightSparkle]

New thread as I don’t think we are anywhere near done on this subject!

Can I just say I hate WhatsApp's last seen bit, was messaging Mr Essex earlier, sent him a message he hasn't read it but has been online. my slight paranoia is working overtime. I know I shouldn't worry as he is pretty consistent.

Isit turn it off, far less stressful!

I had my online date yesterday and it was fine but not sure I fancied him. I haven’t heard from him again so I guess the feeling was mutual. Back to the drawing board!

FFS I messaged Mr Computer Geek last night🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️. I don't even know why I did it as Mr Essex seems really nice, actually keen to meet up and hasn't messed me about (he did reply to me in the end). Oh well it's done, nothing I can do but wait to see if he replies I suppose. Mr Computer Geek's ego is probably well and truly being massaged right now. I blame all this tier 4 madness because I keep changing my views on Mr Computer Geek, one day I think he is a lying, cheat who is still married, probably been a naughty boy and got caught, the next I believe what he said to me and feel sorry for him having a sick ex and being completely messed up by it all. I just keep thinking I can't have been that unlucky and naive, I always think the best in people and I really can't believe I have been taken for a mug by him. The worst thing is that I weighed myself this morning and have lost another 4lbs and he was the person I had been talking to about my weigh loss goals (the gym and weight loss was something we had in common). I also fell out with a friend last week, who has also damaged my friendship with my ex (which I'm more upset about) by twisting what I said to him to make her the innocent party and me the jealous ex(he is spending money he doesn't have on her and comes to me to borrow money). All in all I could do with Mr Computer Geek and Mr Essex being good people otherwise my faith in people is completely destroyed.

Apologies for the lack of paragraphs there

So Mr Computer Geek replied to me, said he is going through some shit but hopefully getting there soon. I'm not sure what that means but I'm shocked he replied as I thought he was ghosting me( He said he wasn't). My Friend thinks he might actually be sorting himself out. I've so many scenarios going round in my head but I'm just happy he replied, maybe I've been a bit harsh on him and he is a decent guy after all. 🤷‍♀️

Mr Essex's messages are slowing down,which doesn't surprise me as lockdown 3 means there is nothing to talk about and little chance of meeting anytime soon.

Would like some advice please, so have met up with someone who I matched with online, twice now in the freezing cold for a walk and takeaway cuppa. Seems like a nice guy we are never short of conversation. I just don’t know because I’m not getting any reaction in my body if that makes any sense. It’s like meeting up with a mate, is that a good thing? Couldn’t kiss or anything because of Covid.
The last guy I matched with, we were snogging within half an hour of meeting
and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, I would get butterflies in my stomach at just a message let alone when we were together. Couldn’t eat for weeks.
What do I do because am I just settling for this new guy or can that feeling develop and is it better than being instant.

@Isitreally77 I wouldn't get your hopes up personally. He could be just trying to keep an iron in the fire.

@Kat2000 I'd personally just leave that one. As far as I'm concerned if I don't know if I fancy them I probably don't. I've been out with a couple of guys who were really nice and easy to talk to, but it's not enough for me. Like you say, I felt as if I would have been settling for the sake of it, which isn't what I want.

@WunWun yes i think you are right, the sensible realist me anyway. The silly, romantic me would like to think otherwise.😂 think lockdown is affecting my common sense.🤣

@Isitreally77 my previous ghosting iron Mr BlueEyes who was ‘too busy’ to bother keeps popping back up. I know he’s kicking himself for losing me but it’s like he does not have the ability to do things properly.
Flaky people are always going to be flaky and you will kick yourself if you wait on him only for him to do this to you again.
I do think lockdown is making us all mad however 😆

@Mayzee yes I agree, Mr Computer Geek I think is doing the same. He could have had someone who would have taken things at the pace he needed and who understood what he is going through. He has lost out on someone who would have been good for him (I think he realises it too).

I'm not even sure if it's worth swiping at the moment what with lockdown until the end of March by the looks of it.

Hi Ladies, Just a quick check in!

Nothing new to report here in the lock down 3 saga! @Isitreally77 - WANKING! WTAF! dirty B***d! I would have recorded him and plastered it all over the internet! Honestly the pain we put ourselves through to find someone and that is what happens!
I briefly chatted with someone over the xmas period, but being back at my Mums, and the new lock down, has just made me think, now is not my time! So nothing came of it. It was nice to chat to someone though! He started to get a bit flirty, and I (like so many others on here) just cant do it until I have met them.
@Angelofdeath - anything happening with Mr School run....although I imagine you aren't really doing the school run now!
It doesn't sound like much has changed for any of you guys either in the time I have been away!
Oh well....Happy New Year to you all things can only get better....

@pineappleonpizzaornot I was too shocked to do anything other than end the call.

Awww @Angelofdeath - Its really f**g c*p isnt it! Im lucky and dont have small kids, but feel for people in this situation that we are in that do! I would be pulling my hair out....nice of the kids dad to give up 1 night a week.....he will lose out in the long run, been there done that!
I know what you mean about going on the apps, I also feel like whats the point? Im hoping by the time Spring comes that we may be able to arrange a "drink" as a date! But who knows, if you had said in Feb last year that Jan 2021 we would be in lock down, we wouldn't have believed it!

I had a message from someone last night at 10.30pm, I though I would reply this morning as I done want late night chats with people, I was unmatched by the time I got round to replying this morning lol! He obviously had a lot more to choose from.....dick head!

excuse the typos!

[quote Isitreally77]@pineappleonpizzaornot I was too shocked to do anything other than end the call.[/quote]
These people should be locked up! That is some form of sexual harassment surely?

@pineappleonpizzaornot sadly I think men can get away with it, I felt really awful afterwards and you are right it's no different to a flasher say. It is also why I reached out to Mr Computer Geek as I wanted someone I felt comfortable talking to for a bit and for all his flakiness and poor me, he never made me feel uncomfortable when we were talking(in fact he was lovely when I had a wobble, about dating and where it could lead, at the beginning of talking to him).

I'm not sure I can be bothered trying to swipe right now either.

@Isitreally77 - I understand about going back to someone who you feel comfortable with, I think thats why I have more or less stayed off the apps, as It was getting me down and then I was consequently dwelling/missing my ex (he is also no good for me, but its what I knew), and in a way its a life I miss, and the skanks you get on the apps were making me miss it more :( The 4th message I had off some bloke the other day, was to tell me he was in bed wanking....Just what I wanted to hear!
@Angelofdeath - At the minute where dating is concerned I dont really think there is a whole lot to be positive about....however, if I was male, I would take you on a date

@pineappleonpizzaornot completely understand about the ex, although as mine is now not speaking to me it's easier for me to not go back there. I've not been on the app all week just gone on and saw Mr Events has disappeared from my chat list. I'm beginning to think it's not worth it as I now only have Mr Essex and Mr Computer Geek who I'm chatting to(off the app too) and Mr Essex has gone quiet on me. May try again in a couple of weeks (once lockdown has settled down) as I think it's trying to tell me something.

It is the life we miss isn't it and the men on the apps are just awful in the main. Why do we bother.

Okay, I've had a weird afternoon. Mr Computer Geek started messaging me, said he would love to see me if I fancy it. I'm completely confused right now.

I think I would probably meet him. You'll always be thinking about it if you don't.

You've not met him before have you?

@OutingMyself no never met him, had 3 attempts back in October/November when he cancelled. In the end he ended up taking time out to sort himself out.

Seeing him on Sunday so let's see how it goes.

Isitreally77
I’m so pleased your going to meet him finally, at least you will know one way or the other if you like him in person. Texting is all good but not the same as meeting someone. Really hope it goes well. I bet you won’t be able to think of anything else all weekend.