Online dating in your 40s - Part 2

[StarlightSparkle]

New thread as I don’t think we are anywhere near done on this subject!

So many irons seem to do this start of ok then nothing...why bother messaging in the first place.

What do you mean by irons?

Potential dates basically ppl your chatting to online.

Why irons though? Sorry, am I showing my age?

Just a term I learnt from mumsnet lol

Oh right! I must have missed the memo on that one 😃

Would it put you off if a guy said "I bet you have a lovely body" after commenting on exercise related stuff in your profile?

Does it imply he only wants sex? He has on his profile that he wants a relationship..

It's got my back up slightly and I can't tell if I'm being precious or not

Hard to say @OutingMyself he may just want sex despite what his bio says or he's trying to be flirtatious.

@WunWun

Why irons though? Sorry, am I showing my age?

Irons in the fire is an old saying, most likely from blacksmithing / iron mongery I guess. a bit like the opposite of having all your eggs in one basket, have several irons in the fire so you have plenty to choose from.

@Angelofdeath

pineapple They will come to you now you aren't looking Haha well it might end up being the slowest building romance ever, or nothing! (I know he's single now though, he told me)

Gibbs I read that as feminist glitch I was thinking 'Whats one of those?!'

famous for you. It's so difficult isn't it. I completely got where you were coming from & I've said it myself plenty on OLD but it is so hard to tell isn't it. I've often had to go back after saying something & explain it was a joke when it's obvious to me too. I hope it's going ok now, & hope you are ok as well.

Thank you 😊 yes things are a bit better thanks, its been a stressful month, well year, or maybe even decade. . Me and that guy have ramped things up a bit, met up and there was pure chemistry, can tell he's nervous around me which is very endearing as I'm used to arrogant and cocky men. I'm really gagging for some action with him, think he's opening my flood gates after a bit of a drought He's very very funny and seems to be very kind and switched on and is super fit and huge but not in an overblown roidy way. He's not conventionally good looking but there's something about him I find very attractive. We have reams of things in common so I guess watch this space.

So it seems it doesn't get any better for me. I've not heard from Mr Events, nor Mr Sales. Mr Dutch was a waste of time (maybe he decided not to come back to the UK, I wouldn't blame him either). I am talking to another, he is sweet but only 29 and I can't see it going anywhere. Mr Computer Geek is still on his "break", he read a message last week and didn't reply. Personally I find that worse than not reading them. He did say he will be back when he could be of some use to someone, or most likely when he has decided that staying with the ex is the right thing to do for the children(this is what I think he is thinking of doing) and he still isn't getting what he wants (sex) and goes looking for it again. Sometimes I just want to get my hands on him and shake him, it obviously wasn't working for them to split and him to be on Tinder (and he still on Tinder).

@Isitreally77 I feel like nothing is going anywhere for me too. I have been speaking to the dirty dog who only seems to want to talk about how toned my body is and another guy who seemed really nice and interested, but now hasn't even read my message for hours.

I do wonder if because of the covid situation that no one is really feeling like they can make proper plans so they give up easily? It seems to me that guys are less interested than they were at the end of the summer.

Yeah, it definitely tells me a lot about what he's after. If he'd left it at the first comment I think I could have ignored it, but it went on. I've not replied to his last message so I'll see if he comes up with something else to talk about or leave it I think.

The interested guy got back in touch and seems very interested. Unfortunately (for him) I found his Facebook profile from something he said. It has much clearer pictures and it's a no from me. Shame but what can you do if you don't fancy someone.

Yeah, going in to tier 4 here from boxing day too :/

Would you bother to contact someone (Bumble) who made a point of mentioning they'd just bought an apartment in a very expensive part of London? Seems a bit of a twatty brag doesn't it..

So I heard from Mr Events last night, I didn't ask about the ring although he did say he came out of a long relationship in February so if I use my Miss Marple skills I could assume he was married and maybe it ended (and just liked the photo). He seems in a better place than Mr Computer Geek was. He moves into tier 4 on Boxing Day and has been abiding by the rules so doesn't want to break them. I have to respect that, I'm already in tier 4 so he would have had to come to my tier to meet me anyway. He said he still wants to meet for a drink once we are both out of tier 4. Maybe this one will keep his word.

Mr Sales wants to meet he doesn't give a stuff about the rules and whilst I don't agree with them I've kept the people I see to a minimum throughout the various lockdowns, it's only been my family and a couple of close friends so I have kept my circle small and people I know well (not a random bloke). He seems like a bit of a conspiracy theorist and I'm not sure if I can handle that.

@OutingMyself I think Covid is a great player in people not wanting to make plans. Especially with all this tier business being reviewed every two weeks, you think you can make a date (I could last week) and then we were moved into tier 3 last Friday and then tier 4 last Saturday so all my plans (including Christmas) were changed

Happy Christmas all....my first since we separated in January so I've been a bit emotional. Having ex for dinner too.....

Merry Christmas everyone.

@LuckyLinda3 its time to make new memories. Enjoy your day. Xxx

Aw thank you @Isitreally77. Enjoy your day too x

@Angelofdeath thank you it went ok. Was tough at times as you remember years gone by but also tough because we could see he is struggling with his mental health. For that reason I felt glad we had asked him and it eased my 15yr old daughters worries about him being alone. I almost had a meltdown because the man I'm seeing now bought me perfume for Christmas..I'm not great at receiving presents and I felt pressured because I didn't think we were in that space but he keeps telling me there's no pressure. Sometimes I think being on your own might be easier!!

@Angelofdeath I'm so glad you had a nice family day and you will wear that dress!

Please tell me this is not normal. I was chatting to this guy earlier he seemed nice, we swapped numbers and had a Skype call. Then half way through the conversation turns slightly and next thing I know he is showing me he is having a wank and wants me to watch him. Now that thing just doesn't do it for me not over Skype with a guy I've not even met. I've had a couple of dick pics (Mr Events sent me a couple, so did Mr Computer Geek sadly) but not this. It's a shame as he was fit but it made me uncomfortable.

In contrast I'm chatting with another one Mr Essex (who I matched with last night)who when I said I might go to bed early, said he might join me then added "in going to bed early". He seems really nice and actually said he wants to meet me, there has been absolutely no sexual talk whatsoever but just some nice friendly banter.

I'm still chatting with Mr Sales too.