Online dating in your 40s - Part 2

[StarlightSparkle]

New thread as I don’t think we are anywhere near done on this subject!

Is it just me but does anyone else have this response commonly from men in their 40's from online dating apps... even after just a few messages something about their sexual prowess, performance or stamina.. like "well, I'm a bit of a handful babes", or "I'm very demanding in the bedroom"?!! It is almost as off putting as dick pic's..

I feel like replying here's some reality to dampen your ardour mate.. I'm 46, menopausal not had sex for 2 & half years, I've no idea if I'd even get the urge let alone if it will all work down there anymore! I'm a stone overweight so it's strictly lights out under the covers.. I don't do on top because I hate the thought of anyone seeing everything jiggle plus I'm lazy & unfit. In fact I'd really rather be at home in my own bed alone in fluffy pyjamas watching TV... but then again I'm sure their reality is a lot different to what they promise anyway!!

Ha ha.. it's honestly really cringeworthy..

They watch so much porn that they forget how it really is.. clumsy, awkward, sometimes hugely funny.

@dilly123 so true. And they all have a ‘very high drive’ ...easy to say when you’re meeting someone once in a while. See how high your drive is when you’re dealing with everyday life drudgery.
I’d love to talk to some of their ex wives!

I don't think Mr Dutch is going to reply, oh well. Was chatting to another he seemed normal, then he asked when we can meet so I said this weekend maybe. He said great can I come round to yours. I haven't replied. Do men not even consider a woman may not want a random man in her place. Why do they ask this question in the first place, do they not even think about a woman's safety.

I'm beginning to think the only decent man I've chatted to has been Mr Computer Geek and even he messed me about(he did explain why) but at least he has been honest with me.

@Angelofdeath I'm actually thinking of taking a break over Christmas and trying again in the new year, life is too busy at the moment and with the constant changing of tiers you never know if you are likely to arrange something only for you to be moved in to tier 3.

That's a bugger about your washing machine, you never know your repairman might be hot and single

Hi all
I've sacked off Mr Blue but Mr Green came back during family issues so I've agreed to meet him at the weekend.
However, I've been communicating with an other guy and met him twice - Mr Putney - we get along really well, lots in common, fancy each other (have had sex last time we met) but he's now questioning me about my WhatsApp activity, ie asking who I'm talking to etc so must be frequently checking my status - supposed to be seeing him again soon but I'm reconsidering now as have been in a controlling relationship and this is a red flag isn't it? He messaged me constantly but comments on the times I'm on WhatsApp when it's not with him?

Angeangelofdesth thank you
He is essentially accusing me of messaging other men, which I do occasionally and don't think it's any of his business, but he's getting quite arsey about it now. I'm on a lot of WhatsApp groups with family and friends so his messages are annoying me now, like I have to quantify all my messages, I'm thinking I'll sack him off as not going through all that controlling ness again x

Are there any normal men? I recently met up with the best one of a bad bunch from OLD and he turned out to have bad breath and be a holocaust denying conspiracy theorist!

So ladies I put it to him last might why there has been such a dip in communication. He said with his shifts last week he was wrecked. Maybe. He messaged lots today but this evening I put it to him that I thought the vibe between us has changed and he said while he doesn't want to break up he thinks it's going to be difficult going forward with our differing work schedules. I messaged asking could he talk but he hasn't seen it...next move? I do like him but would need a level of communication especially if we cant see each other that much.

@Angelofdeath see that's what I'm thinking too but to be fair last week he worked 5 13hr shifts out of 7 days so I dont want to be jumping the gun either. He did text last night after 12 apologising that he had fallen asleep and only saw my message and has messaged me today to say morning...I've yet to reply but it's hard to know.

He has been texting me lots today...dont know what to do now...

Hi all, just thought I would check in. I am all moved back home now and its bloody lovely! Makes you realize how much you need your family when they arent there! so for the time being I am just enjoying having them around and putting dating on the back burner! My mum cant believe that Im not interested in meeting anyone, and Ive been single for a year now, I told her I just cant deal with the disappointment anymore, and the general gross sexual messages....so Ive not even looked at my apps for a couple of weeks! and to be honest I am feeling better for it :)

@pineappleonpizzaornot aw thats great. So glad to hear you are happy. Wishing you a lovely Christmas and hopefully next year will be much kinder to you.

pineapple glad to hear you are home and settled and sounds as though just a bit of home comfort is needed and dating can wait. My family are 100s of mikes away (I moved here to be with my now EH) so I know how hard it is to be nowhere near family. I would have moved back to where I'm from if it wasn't for my son.

Linda only you can decide what you want to do. I have to admit I work long hours and sometimes in the evening I'm just knackered by the time I've finished work, sorted tea and any chores that need doing. I think it's probably worth having a face to face chat about how you both feel at the moment and if his reservations are leading him to believe he things you should call it a day. Also how do you feel, do you think you could work round them? Would you want to?

My availability is quite limited as I have my DS 2/3rds of the time so I'm seeing Mr Check once a week, and one week we managed twice. He also has his DC some of the time. We are both childfree this weekend which with our childcare schedules will only happen once a month so we're spending Friday evening and Saturday day together which will be a first. It's not ideal but when you've got children it's always going to be harder.

@pineappleonpizzaornot I'm so glad you are happy and settled.

Well I was about to delete the apps again as I just cannot be bothered when low and behold mr scot turns up. He is warm and funny and I'm really enjoying talking to him. We got talking on the fb dating thing and have lots of mutual friends, one of which is a very good friend of mine. She has confirmed he is a lovely genuine person so fingers crossed

Sounds nice @Angelofdeath. We talked and he said he us very interested and has been messaging quite a lot since so I think I might just go with it for now as we do get on well. He has a family event on Saturday night and invited me to it...I declined as I think it's way too soon but I suppose its good he asked me.