Online dating in your 40s - Part 2

[StarlightSparkle]

New thread as I don’t think we are anywhere near done on this subject!

@Angelofdeath thank you. He seems nice and uncomplicated(famous last words). He wants to call me though, I hate talking on the phone at the best of times and I spend my days on Teams meetings with work so the thought of talking on the phone in the evening just doesn't appeal. If we are still chatting at the weekend I may suggest we do the call then, I can do it whilst I'm out walking so I'm doing something whilst talking.

Glad it's not just me @Angelofdeath . I'm worried i won't know what to talk about. I would have to talk to him if I met him anyway so this is just good practice I suppose.

My ex put the idea that Mr Computer Geek is getting back with his ex into my head last night. Not helpful. Although my lodger thinks my ex has an ulterior motive. I'm starting to think that too.

Just seen an ex on OLD pretending to be 45 when he's nearly 52 and using photos from 20 years ago! Oh my lord!

So I had a video call with Mr Dutch, it went well. He wants to meet when he gets back. Now it's finding a day.

Ah that's great @isitreally. Delighted for you.

Well I was talking to a man who will now be named mr twatface. He was quite funny to begin with and he asked me out so we were going to meet tomorrow. Anyway all week there have been indicators that he could be a massive controlling arse. Told me size 16 was the biggest he was willing to consider, I would need to make sure I wear nice underwear when meeting him, I had to wear a dress, pretty much dictated how I would be disciplining my own child if we got together, asked if I could speak in a higher pitch voice (I have a sore throat). I told him I had changed my mind and I’ve just had a complete barrage of abuse off him

Am I unusual in that I would just un-match at the first instance of them saying anything vaguely like that without a word? Why did you feel the need to tell him you'd changed your mind? You don't owe people like that any kind of explanation. I'd have put the phone down and blocked him at the first bit of bullshit.

@Fuzzyduckduckyfuzz you definitely had a lucky escape there, what a prat. I had that once with someone who genuinely raved about what an amazing x and y he was, the best lover, the best dancer, how women fell at his feet. His pictures were just an ageing bald man. I was perplexed but in hindsight I think he must have taken the confidence thing too seriously ie that's what women like, and I'll bet it works on some. Sad really!

@Fuzzyduckduckyfuzz I ahree. He sounds delightful. I now just unmatch and block it they say anything I don't like or makes me uncomfortable. I was messaging one last week who asked when the last time I was intimate was. I thought none of your business and unmatched a bit later. It wasn't even part of a conversation, he just came out and asked it. With Mr Computer Geek it came up but it actually came up as part of much bigger conversation we were having and it didn't make me feel uncomfortable.

So ladies I put it out there today and said that I felt we were in contact anywhere hear as much as we had been and he sent a laughing emoji saying yiu can message me anytime. I dont want to be paranoid but I can see hes online when hes at work even though he says he doesn't like bothering me when I'm working. Last night he didnt messat all but was online most of the evening. He works a lot as I have said before and is always on about being tired so I'm thinking maybe he just doesn't have the energy for this but I'd like more than just the interaction we have when we meet up? AIBU?

Sorry 'weren't in contact'!

What's he doing when he is online? It doesn't take much effort to send a message so him being tired doesn't wash with me especially as you say he is online.

See I'm the same ...I haven't asked him what hes doing on WhatsApp to be honest but like you I don't think it takes much effort to send a message.

I’m actually furious today about it. He was so out of line, just makes me want to bite back even though I know I shouldn’t!! Anyway he’s deleted and blocked now the weirdo.

I forgot to mention that he had sent me a pic of him lying on his bed in a pair of old mans underpants 🤣🤣🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 what a complete turn off

@Fuzzyduckduckyfuzz

Well I was talking to a man who will now be named mr twatface. He was quite funny to begin with and he asked me out so we were going to meet tomorrow. Anyway all week there have been indicators that he could be a massive controlling arse. Told me size 16 was the biggest he was willing to consider, I would need to make sure I wear nice underwear when meeting him, I had to wear a dress, pretty much dictated how I would be disciplining my own child if we got together, asked if I could speak in a higher pitch voice (I have a sore throat). I told him I had changed my mind and I’ve just had a complete barrage of abuse off him

Ugh my friend had a date with someone like that. Dickhead

Why did you keep on speaking to him when he was sending you pictures like that and saying that stuff though?

Don't give scumbags the time of day, then you've nothing to be furious about!

So I've not heard from Mr Dutch since Thursday night's call. We've been Skyping and it tells me he hasn't been on at all. I feel like this one may not be going anywhere sadly. I mean he could be busy as he is trying to sell his house in the Netherlands but from experience I think I'm just making excuses. Oh well!

My weekly catch up!

Fuzzy my friend who was online dating shared a picture a guy had sent her laying on his bed in his pants, he was 55 and a grandad and all his grandkids toys were in the background. Looked ridiculous, silly old fool 🤣

isit how did you leave it with him on Thursday night? Does he normally message over the weekend? Does he have kids he has?

5th date with Mr Check this week, we were actually able to go out to dinner (tier 2 and neither of us has a support bubble). Was so nice to get dressed up and go out like you'd normally do, it was nice, really enjoyed it.

@VivaVegas we left it as a chat soon. I only started talking to him on Tuesday. He doesn't have kids either so that isn't an issue. I suppose his parents live there so he could be spending it with them before he comes back.

Glad Mr Check is going well, nice that you could go out properly.

@OutingMyself I’m still at the stage where I’m too nice. I had stopped replying I just hadn’t blocked him

isit have you messaged him and he hasn't replied or have neither of you messaged each other?

If the latter I would drop him a quick message maybe asking him if he's had a nice weekend and if he fancies a call this week?

That way he'll either reply or he won't but at least you know where you stand.

@VivaVegas I messaged him yesterday, but he hasn't been online since Thursday. Ironically we had arranged to meet next Sunday but I double booked myself told him straight away and now what I was doing has been moved to Friday so I could do Sunday now.