Online dating in your 40s - Part 2

[StarlightSparkle]

New thread as I don’t think we are anywhere near done on this subject!

Yeah I have to say I'm not sure why you'd offer to be there for him if he needs it. You don't know him in real life, and what you do know is that he treats you badly. What has he done to deserve anything from you? Or make you want to give it?

@Isitreally77 - I agree with the other posters, you arent gaining anything apart from a headache being in touch with this guy, you deserve someone so much better!

Well i got all attitudie last night after no reply from Mr Design, so I messaged him last night asking if he normally matches, messages and ignores....what a surprise....no reply! So I unmatched this morning.

Also woke up to a message from a guy that said "Hi what are you looking for", that was it, I felt like replying "not you!".
Im going to call it OLA instead of OLD (On Line Arseholes)

I actually can not envisage what it would be like with a man in my life now.

Still lurking even though I have nothing to say about online dating as Mr DJ and I deleted our profiles after the 2nd/3rd date and everything is still going well.

Don't want to jinx it but we are definitely both a couple - next step = both getting std tests - we've talked about it and are both getting it done.

Re: the green crown, it means the person has got "Premium membership". That means that they can talk to anyone on the site, even if you haven't paid to join.

For example when I first joined I was just browsing to see "what was out there" and one guy messaged me (he had the green crown) and I was able to see the messages and reply. Not possible if you haven't paid normally.

Not sure whether it's a good or bad sign, certainly shows commitment to dating !

Viva I had a Google but can't find out either.
I think it was just ego for your one, he probably has the first few dates until somebody falls for him & then moves onto the next.
Hopefully you will meet somebody soon & be off there, & he will still be on there playing his games.

I think you're right Angel just not sure what you gain from doing this. Men, they are a different species!

OLA very good and very appropriate!

Dusted myself down last night and looked around and felt thoroughly deflated.

So threw a few curve balls, all a bit younger which I now know I prefer than older than me (at least I'm learning stuff!) and now have 2 messaging on Match, one on Bumble and one who messaged me on Hinge yesterday.

I've never had a date from anything other than Match as any conversations elsewhere have always just died.

Obviously by this time tomorrow they could all have disappeared!

Good job there's not much rise to do in an evening.

I'm so missing the gym and socialising and it's only been a week, this weekend will really test me!

Met a friend for a walk in my lunch yesterday and doing the same today, that definitely helps!

Bloody hell @VivaVegas - You have few on the boil! Well, I hope at least one of them turns out to be a good man! Send me some love dust

@jamaisjedors - Congrats! Pleased its all working out for you....hopefully it will be our turn soon

Oh. Hello! Can I join you? I’ve only read he first page, but you’re talking about DMs, pretty dresses and terrible dates. I feel like I’ve found my people!

Am chatting to another guy now Mr Legal Finance, I swiped on him and thought "oh he looks familiar" he lives 15 miles from me. Started chatting and where we lived came up, he coincidentally used to live where I live (and have lived for 26 years) , might explain why I thought he looked familiar if we used to live in the same town. First day of chatting, he seems nice though.

@MsJaneAusten - Come on in...I dont have any DM's, or pretty dresses, but have a handful of terrible dates
@Isitreally77 - Good luck

Saw on a profile today ‘don’t like over confident women’
Lord these men🙄🙄🙄

And had a guy this morning v handsome in hair photos - few normal messages then ‘do you miss intimacy?’ And ‘what are you wearing now’?
I’m seeing all the dire today 😂

@Angelofdeath - This guy didn't have the decency to tell me what he was looking for, just wanted to know what I was looking for, so i thought Im not even putting myself in the position of being blocked, so i unmatched him first. Maybe I should put on my profile that Im looking for something long term? Would it make any difference??

@Mayzee

Saw on a profile today ‘don’t like over confident women’ Lord these men🙄🙄🙄

I prefer my women, or should I say, ladies, to have no confidence. Very low self esteem so that they keep trying and trying to please me. Ideally they will accept no end of crap until eventually I tire of their desperate need to please me. In the meantime I'll have lined up several rivals/ replacements and give them all hints about each other to keep them on their toes.

@famousforwrongreason - are you male?! Is that an interpretation of what "over confident" means to a man? Either way I suppose thats what he means when he doesnt want anyone with confidence.

Woke uo to two messages from 2 different guys-
One just said "cute x" - arent babies and teddy bears cute??

@Mayzee

And one that sent 3 messages -

Hi, I would like to meet.

You're really nice I want to chat and meet up.

Please agree to meet me!

Oh and 1 from that was really hot his profile said he was 40...he was clearly 20! - not replied to any.

@Mayzee...what is it with the sex talk, its like they are caged animals on heat! I mean I suppose they are, but I do you think they ever get anywhere talking to women like that?? I dont know what woman that thinks its acceptable!

@Angelofdeath - When you cared...lol! I know what you mean,. I am now thinking every single man is the same, rude, selfish, mean, liar, hidden agenda and egotistical....Im having a really good hair day today though, so Im happy

Today’s Gem ...I’m tempted to swipe right on the lovely Shane with the hope of matching so I could have a go but what would be the point....can’t fix stupid 😂
Ah @pineappleonpizzaornot why didn’t you agree to meet with would like to meet guy? He wants to meet you can’t you tell 😆
@Angelofdeath agree it doesn’t matter what you say on your profile as if they want someone to mess around they will swipe on everyone to find a victim.
I matched with a guy on tinder yesterday - gorgeous looking which is immediate red flag 😂 he messaged me first - I responded asked how his afternoon was going - he said it’s morning in my city I’m in Atlanta in USA...bullsh1t... I said oh funny app says you are a lot nearer ah well no chance of meeting - he says it’s a glitch and unmatches. Get a message on pof - it’s a hello from him! Says he’s in a town the same distance away as tinder said he was ....like what does he gain from this interaction!! Keep matching with women but pretend you live abroad ....WHY!!!
End of Rant 😂😂

[quote pineappleonpizzaornot]@famousforwrongreason - are you male?! Is that an interpretation of what "over confident" means to a man? Either way I suppose thats what he means when he doesnt want anyone with confidence.

Woke uo to two messages from 2 different guys-
One just said "cute x" - arent babies and teddy bears cute??

@Mayzee

And one that sent 3 messages -

Hi, I would like to meet.

You're really nice I want to chat and meet up.

Please agree to meet me!

Oh and 1 from that was really hot his profile said he was 40...he was clearly 20! - not replied to any.

@Mayzee...what is it with the sex talk, its like they are caged animals on heat! I mean I suppose they are, but I do you think they ever get anywhere talking to women like that?? I dont know what woman that thinks its acceptable!

@Angelofdeath - When you cared...lol! I know what you mean,. I am now thinking every single man is the same, rude, selfish, mean, liar, hidden agenda and egotistical....Im having a really good hair day today though, so Im happy [/quote]
Haha no I'm not male. I wrote a tongue in cheek interpretation of what a guy actually means when he says he doesn't like over confident women!
I'm very much a woman and a feminist and I know that my confidence is repellent to certain types of men

I was in a car accident on Thursday so I've not really been in the mood for swiping. Thankfully I'm just bruised and sore but it does mean I can't train for a while, the doctor said it would take 4-6 weeks to fully heal. I'm going to go stir crazy. The doctor did say once the gyms have reopened I can go back and train as long as I stop if I start getting pain. I had to go because Mr Computer Geek(yes I know I was taking a step back from him) kept telling me I needed to be checked out(you can tell he is a Dad because he says things in a certain way and I felt like I was getting a bit of a telling off for not going, it was a pretty serious accident to be fair) and when I told him I did what he suggested, he told me I will have to take it easy in the gym until I'm fully recovered. I hate it when men are right and I know they're right (especially when they are so infuriatingly self absorbed usually)🤣.

I was chatting to one who mysteriously vanished last night then I checked this morning and he is back in my lists of messages. Weird!

Hope you are ok Isitreally and I can relate to doing crazy if you cannot train.

Of the 4 I was messaging 1 has disappeared (and that is of course the one I found the most attractive!).

One is quite a distance and had his daughter most of the time so not sure how that would work plus he says he wants to take it slow and get to know someone via messages. He's new to OLD but at some point I need to say I'd Krefeld to meet as I don't want to invest ages in messages and then there's nothing there. He seems nice, genuine and has an accent which I love.

The second is nearer but has his son every weekend so again not sure how that would work out. He has suggested a coffee.

The other is just over an hour away which I questioned with him when he contacted me. He says he is from where I live originally and has lots of friends and family around here and intends to move back now his children are older and can drive. He has suggested a socially distant walk so we'll see.

And with all of that going on of course all I can think about is the one who ditched me earlier this week. Who is still always online so clearly it's his hobby! Why do we always want what we can't and shouldn't have!