Is he up to something or am I paranoid?

[Pollydaydream]

Hi all,

New poster here, I'll try not to waffle. This is a bit batty but here we go.

I'm married (together 18 years) with 2 young kids. Hubs and I get on well, he's a great dad, we share housework. I've no complaints.

We work opposite shifts. Last week, while he was sleeping, a message pinged on his phone from Instagram. I don't have that app and didn't know he had it. I opened his phone and found a normal looking Instagram account following all his colleagues, friends and family. When I opened the message though, it was from a woman he's never mentioned before. That would be odd enough, but she's actually quite famous yet he's never mentioned knowing her.

I went back through the messages and found they have spoken almost every day for just over a year. The weird thing is they talk about normal stuff,like how they spent their day of what they're making for supper. There's nothing sexual in there, although there have been a few flirty comments. Eg she had joked about posting bikini pics on holiday and he had replied "well I won't be complaining". He also responds to a lot of her instagram story posts with fire or shocked face emojis. Despite that, there is no sexting or dirty talk, but they seem very close.

I looked further and it turns out they've known each other since they were small children, but he has never mentioned her to me. She wasn't at our wedding and she's never sent a Christmas card. They did text each other on Christmas day and she cheers him on with his work challenges. I looked her up on Facebook and her account is locked, but I could see that he's liked every one of her profile pics from the last decade.

I don't know what to think. There are no dirty pics or bad talk and I know they haven't met up (they joke in their messages about it plus she lives over 300 miles away). The only other thing that is off is she seems to have gone through a break up over the last year, but when I googled her it said she's still married. On the face of it it mainly seems like a lovely supportive friendship, but if that's just what it is, why has he never mentioned her?

Do I need to be concerned or are friendships like this normal? Thank you to anyone who can help with a little insight x

I think we are being led up the garden path here

It's Naga Munchetty. No, Fiona Bruce. Zoe Ball ? How about Kate Winslet.

I'm betting Tess Daley - one book she "wrote" was called The Camera Never Lies....

It's Jane fucking Macdonld I just know it.

Op your a better woman than I am. No way would I be able to sit on this. I'd be causing havoc.

If this friendship is platonic, he 100% would of mentioned it before, he's hiding her for a reason, whatever that may be

This is unbelievable! What he's doing is an EA and imo he would jump at the chance to shag her. Do they speak on the phone? Phone sex?

@DeRigueurMortis

I'm betting Tess Daley - one book she "wrote" was called The Camera Never Lies....

Came here to say Tess Daly.

Either way, whoever it is, you're a better woman than me for not already having it out with him tbh.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/showbiz-news/vernon-kay-denies-split-strictlys-17335943.amp

One year ago.....

Assuming the OP is not leading up the garden path as AF put it...

Please don't let it be Jane McDonald 😬

Nah not Tess Daley. OP and her husband are mid to late 30s and Tess Daley is in her 50s.

Mel Sykes.

Cat Deeley.
Ooh is it Billie piper

Tess Dalys got kids
OP save yourself a whole load of anxiety and grief and just ask your husband what all this is about.
All this buying books, snooping around his SM accounts and such is making you behave in a way that won't be making you feel good.
It may be his fantasy world and it makes the mundane day to day life have a bit more sparkle to him. But it's upsetting you and that's not fair. He's going to use the get out blag of you snooping and you'll just have to deal with that.
All this will only get any kind of clarity if you speak to him. If he starts bullshitting them you know there's more to it. You will have to decide what to do then.

Most names posted on this thread have got kids.

OP just talk to him. Her being famous doesn't affect your marriage in any way shape or form. You wouldn't put up with this from Charmaine Smith down the street, she messaged him on her wedding day she is sending him pictures of herself in the bath get a grip.

Well, I hope the book is a hardback copy so you can smack him over the head with it, just in case he forgets who she is. Joking, not joking 😈

Did you know that they were friends on Facebook before recent searches? I might have missed that bit.

Have we guessed who it is yet?

@Pollydaydream please just speak to him.

In my opinion, this woman sees their relationships as platonic whereas he, as you have rightly said, sees it as a daydream relationship. I don’t think there is much more to it xx

Sorry but he just has a long term child hood friend and they both can speak freely to each other sounds like you are jealous of the friendship and you have probably ruined your marriage by snooping and breaking trust

@Hamm87 a friendship he's seen fit to actively hide from his wife? Ok then.

@Hamm87

Sorry but he just has a long term child hood friend and they both can speak freely to each other sounds like you are jealous of the friendship and you have probably ruined your marriage by snooping and breaking trust

Have you read OP's latest updates with more examples of their messages?

@Hamm87 a childhood friend that was not invited to the wedding. Although she took time out of that day to message him?

I would expect to know about my partner's childhood friends. They are not usually a secret.

Yes 1 she is famous so would bring attention 2 not all ppl get invited to weddings and she was probably busy and he knew that and 3 maybe she has been mentioned and op forgot or he knew she was get jealous of the friendship

This is definitely an emotional affair. I couldn't be with someone who did this. It's so bizarre though.

She wasn't busy she was getting married she had time to message people.
Friends don't send each other messages including pictures of themselves in the bath.
There is no reason for a 'friend' to be hidden from someone you've married.
Her being famous is only important to her.

If I'm messaging a friend about a TV programme as well as every other dull detail of my life I'm probably including the person that I live with in the banal details of those messages.

how many people are you keeping secret from the person you're married to?
Unless is a reason not to.