My date was a really bad kisser! Help

[OMGMyLifeIsCrazy]

I went on a third date with a man I met online yesterday. First time I've been with anyone other than my ex who I was with for 20 years. I'm very unsure about whether I'm ready for dating 18 months post separation from my ex but I've been sad and lonely and really want to connect with someone. The guy I've been dating is lovely. We don't have any real chemistry but we do have a lot in common and I'm keen to see where it goes. On our second date, I told him I wasn't ready to kiss him because I don't just randomly kiss anyone. Yesterday he kissed me a number of times and the only way I can describe it is nothing. No connection. Nothing natural about it. No butterflies. Just nothing. I suspect this was largely to do with his kissing style. I can't describe it other than the kisses being more of a unpassionate lip touch. Ergggghhhh! I really don't know what to do now. I'm not a very assertive or confident person and teaching him how I like to be kissed would be difficult. Help!!!!! What do I do now? Do I see him again?

@CircleofWillis

If there is no chemistry there really is no point in continuing to see him romantically.

This. bin him off. Won't get better. Been there done this got t shirt.

Hmmmm I see it slightly differently. When I met dp I hated kissing him as he was so different and sloppy compared to my previous boyfriend. As I gradually fell for him my feelings changed and now I adore kissing him 🥰

Definitely had an amazing sexual relationship with someone who was a bad kisser, but over time I did miss a great kiss! Is it possible he was trying to take the kisses slowly or something? I’m trying to envisage what you describe, do you mean it was sort of mouth shut, lips touching a bit - like an extended peck on the lips?

I would give it one more try personally. Chemistry and attraction are elusive beasts. But they can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

Consider yourself lucky...I once had a perfectly nice date followed by the worst kiss ever...I think he was trying to clean my tonsils with his tongue.

Mind and my husbands first kiss was awful and I thought I'd have to break up with him but my mum convinced me to go on one more date and I'm so glad I did!

My husband was a rubbish kisser. He got better!

@MostIneptThatEverStepped

I would give it one more try personally. Chemistry and attraction are elusive beasts. But they can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

Consider yourself lucky...I once had a perfectly nice date followed by the worst kiss ever...I think he was trying to clean my tonsils with his tongue.

One more try yes...

My boyfriend in my late 20's before I met my DH (now divorced!) I had zero chemistry in the flesh but sex was great - totall chemistry there - I didn't fancy him though.

A boyfriend I had after I got divorced I didn't fancy either but great sex - chemistry - well it was good but he wasn't my type apart from the chemistry!

Give one more try OP but if kissing rubbish then I'd leave it.

If there's no connection or butterflies, surely he's no more than a friend. If it was me, I would give some others a chance and find the one who leaves you weak at the knees. Yes, a good kisser might let you down somewhere along the line, but then a naff kisser might leave you bored out of your mind.........Take a chance and find excitement! And anyway, I don't think there's good or bad technique, if you're into someone you'll kiss them passionately and naturally without even thinking about it.

I'm wondering if the 'unpassionate lip touch' was his attempt to go easy if you were nervous. Or was it a full on snog that left you feeling unimpressed?
I've found over the years with DH that I'm less enthused about kissing (snog style - we kiss affectionately a lot) but the sex is great and he is wonderful.
If I'd binned him off at the beginning for incompatible kissing styles we'd have missed out on a wonderful happy marriage.
I'd give it another go if I were you, and see how you get along.

I had a horrible first kiss with someone recently...but I was kinda taken aback because I wasn't expecting it and it was a little more public than I would have wanted. I was so disappointed!

Anyway, I really liked them overall and the attraction was definitely there and mutual so we progressed to another date and got the kissing down properly, and more privately, then! And now it's one of the things I look forward to the most and I haven't really been a huge kisser in other relationships.