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Original poster

Shit timing or deliberately malicious.

114 replies

Boredbumhead · 19/10/2020 11:08

I currently have a positive covid test so I'm isolating with the children. My symptoms are mild and moderate. However 'd' p has been unsympathetic all this time (he is currently not isolating with us as he was away with his work when symptoms developed).

He has chosen today to send me the following message: "Can we sell the house? I really don't want to be in this relationship."

I really don't want to sell the kids home. I am trying to relax and recover from covid.
ABIU to think this timing is deliberately malicious?

How should I respond?

OP posts:
SoddingWeddings · 19/10/2020 11:12

Do you agree with him?

sapnupuas · 19/10/2020 11:14

Of course he's being a dick.

StephenBelafonte · 19/10/2020 11:14

It is malicious yes. Tell him "by all means put the house on the market" - I bet he doesn't

Twisique · 19/10/2020 11:15

Had you already agreed to separate? If not that's shocking and cruel!

Original poster
Boredbumhead · 19/10/2020 11:15

I don't want to sell our home. We bought it 5 years ago and I love it so do this kids.

I don't agree with him. But do I have a choice?

OP posts:
Hardbackwriter · 19/10/2020 11:16

Was selling the house and ending the relationship something previously discussed and expected? If not then I think it's an astonishingly callous thing to do. If so then I think the timing is still a bit shit but depending on how long it's been discussed for and how much movement there's been it might be understandable to raise it. I still think you're perfectly entitled to reply to say that you're not feeling well and don't want to talk about it at the moment, though.

Twisique · 19/10/2020 11:16

And he has chosen a time when you can't see a solicitor?

Don't agree to anything until you get advise!

Smallsteps88 · 19/10/2020 11:17
Shock

So he has dumped you by text? Your long term partner with whom you have children and are caring for alone whilst ill?

That’s quite disgusting.

I wouldn’t respond to that. I’d speak to a solicitor about your options. I wouldn’t engage with your former partner any further. Arrangements for the house and the chicken can be made through a solicitor.

sapnupuas · 19/10/2020 11:18

Was the text completely out of the blue?

Smallsteps88 · 19/10/2020 11:19

children! Blush

Twisique · 19/10/2020 11:19

Do you have children together or are they his?

Sexnotgender · 19/10/2020 11:19

What’s the financial set up? Both on mortgage? Both working? Can you buy him out? Not married?

Sorry you’re sick and he’s being a prick Flowers

CuppaZa · 19/10/2020 11:20

That’s horrific. That text would kill any relationship for me, but don’t agree to anything right now. Hope you feel better soon

category12 · 19/10/2020 11:20

Speak to a solicitor. Your ex-dp may be able to force a sale, but it will take time and there's no reason to roll over for him.

MotherofTerriers · 19/10/2020 11:21

I'd respond with "I'm happy to end the relationship but if we sell the house where do you propose your children live?"

ShortFatandDumpy · 19/10/2020 11:21

Had your relationship already broken down and separating being discussed?
Or has he just dumped this on you?

Toilenstripes · 19/10/2020 11:22

“We can discuss when I am Covid-free.”

AlternativePerspective · 19/10/2020 11:22

Text back “no. Will speak to solicitor once I’m out of self isolation. Meanwhile your bags are on the drive.” And follow through.

Doingitaloneandproud · 19/10/2020 11:23

Rubbish timing, had he even told you before he wanted to separate?! That's really hurtful, on a side note I hope you feel better ASAP

If he does jointly own it and wants to sell, you can either buy him out or you could go through legal proceedings, but there's no guarantee you would keep it I'm afraid

Imissmoominmama · 19/10/2020 11:23

Are you both the children’s parents? If you are I’d tell him to fuck off- it’s your home.

Original poster
Boredbumhead · 19/10/2020 11:23

They are our children.
Were both on the mortgage as tenants in common. He put down 125,000 and I took out the mortgage for the rest. He does casual work. I have a decent job earning 58k.

OP posts:
RedskyAtnight · 19/10/2020 11:23

I'm not sure there is a good time to get that text. Unless it was a follow up to ongoing discussion between you about separating and how you manage this practically, it's just an appalling thing to text. Proper conversation needed!

Anordinarymum · 19/10/2020 11:25

@Boredbumhead

I currently have a positive covid test so I'm isolating with the children. My symptoms are mild and moderate. However 'd' p has been unsympathetic all this time (he is currently not isolating with us as he was away with his work when symptoms developed).

He has chosen today to send me the following message: "Can we sell the house? I really don't want to be in this relationship."

I really don't want to sell the kids home. I am trying to relax and recover from covid.
ABIU to think this timing is deliberately malicious?

How should I respond?

So he wants out but he wants you to give up your house when you have children living there?

And you needed to come on here and ask?

Pack his bags for starters. If he wants out let him go, but you don't. Obviously

Sexnotgender · 19/10/2020 11:27

How old are the children?

Bunnymumy · 19/10/2020 11:27

Assuming you already knew you were going to be breaking up, then the texts just a little inconvinient and tactless of him. Though tbf if he has form for such moves, its arguabley deliberately this way in order to cause more stress.

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