Shit timing or deliberately malicious.

[Boredbumhead]

I currently have a positive covid test so I'm isolating with the children. My symptoms are mild and moderate. However 'd' p has been unsympathetic all this time (he is currently not isolating with us as he was away with his work when symptoms developed).

He has chosen today to send me the following message: "Can we sell the house? I really don't want to be in this relationship."

I really don't want to sell the kids home. I am trying to relax and recover from covid.
ABIU to think this timing is deliberately malicious?

How should I respond?

Sounds like a bit of a pig to be honest. From an outsider perspective it sounds like you are well rid. As others have said take legal advice on what your options are and make sure you act in yours and your children's interests- not his. Good luck.

Dear OP,
He sounds utterly selfish. He has clearly “forgotten” how ill you might be feeling simply because it isn’t happening to him. He doesn’t seem too bothered about his own children either so I wouldn’t worry too much about them missing contact with him for a while after this spiteful stunt he has pulled. You don’t have to respond to anything if you don’t wish to and I would recommend ignoring his messages completely, blocking if necessary as you should not be stressed by this when ill. You can be in control and do things in your own time, if/when it suits you. I would recommend seeking legal advice to see what the likely outcomes would be and to choose a solicitor that you are happy with so you have one lined up for when you need them. You can take your time and be as unhelpful as possible, take ages to reply to anything from now on and delay all his moves as much as possible. Make him contact you via your solicitor. I would also be packing his things up ready for him to take since he has implied that he no longer wishes to live with you. However, I would seek advice about when you can change the locks as he does part own the property. I would also follow ekidmxcl’s sound advice:

*ekidmxcl Mon 19-Oct-20 13:09:10
Screenshot the text, with the time stamp
Screenshot your covid result with the time stamp
Print both and keep them so that you have proof of what an utter cunt he is.

Can you afford to live there on your own without him?

Regardless, I would not reply to the text AT ALL.

He sounds like an utter monster from hell.*

Or if you do want to respond, 1WildTeaParty’s advice isn’t a bad idea as Covid is known to cause confusion amongst many other things.

Sow confusion.
Reply to his message as if it was wishing you and the children well... and reassure him that no you don't need anything just now but it is lovely to know that he'll be there for you if you do.

He's clearly got money, as in he had that big deposit, but if he's working casually then you will probably find you're screwed as far as child maintenance is concerned.

What's happened to the upkeep of the house - have you paid more towards that?

I’m surprised by how much I approve of this suggestion.

Normally I’d say ignoring things is a bad idea and doesn’t solve anything, but...It’s perfect. Fuck him. Honestly.

Agree. Say nothing.

Make an appointment to see a solicitor as soon as your quarantine allows for.

Find out exactly how you stand legally and financially before you engage with him further.

Fuck him.

Fingers crossed you can make the finances work and stay in the house without him.

Someone else is first on his agenda.

I don't think that kind of speculation is at all helpful at present. OP is ill with Covid and at the very least should give herself time to recover. The real issue in question is that of his callous disregard for her, and the decision to drop this on her head when she's in such a vulnerable place (not least having to care for the children whilst ill herself).

OP you should take as much time to recover as you need. I'm with the 'do not respond' camp. Let him sweat. In the meantime when - and only when - you are feeling recovered I'd be seeking legal advice before speaking to him.

Yes he's being a shit.

It takes a long time to sell a house. So say yes to the relationship ending, and tell him he can collect his stuff when you are all out of isolation.
Ignore the rest.

When you feel up to it, get legal and financial advice. I presume you aren't married? Can you raise the finance to buy him out? Definitely don't rush, house prices might fall in a few months. He is still supposed to pay for the children's up keep.
But at present concentrate on getting yourself and the children well.

Many thanks for all the supportive comments. I have told him I will be seeing a solicitor once I'm better and in the mea time I've told him not to contact me.

How are your chickens, Boredbumhead?

Good for you!!

Top researching thatlibrarymiss yep that's a confusing timeline!

Good for you!

So tomorrow for the week due to annual leave we had planned to spend the week together and share care of the kids. I've blocked him on my phone all week. Now I don't know what to do. He's saying when our isolation is up he wants time with the kids. We would have to share the house together. I'm not feeling good about it.

Is he normally a good dad? Why would you have to share the house? He’s been an arse. I know you can’t prevent him from moving back in. But it sounds as though he has somewhere else to stay...