Right to be offended by tonight's comments

[GenevieD]

So my on/off partner messaged me tonight and said he hasent been in touch all day because hes absolutely furious at something that happened today. So he basically got pulled by police for something he shouldn't have been doing and got an on the spot fine.
He said he got victimised because he is a hardworking straight white Male. Then he said to the police officer I bet if I was a woman, or on benefits or of colour you would have let me off because it's not worth your job.

I was horrified to hear he had said that and I've really taken offence tonight. I am a single parent yes I work really hard to look after my daughter (but I do get a little bit of additional support in the way of benefits). He said woman would turn on the water works and say it's time of the month or use some other excuse like 'I'm pregnant' to get away with it.

So it's now turned into a little bit of a slanging match. He says nobody feels sorry for him because hes a white Male. Hes slated women tonight. Yesterday when I was out with him we were walking in the woods and there was a woman with an 18 month old toddler on reins and he walked really closely and impatiently behind him, so the lady said move over to let the man through, he stormed through. And then he said can you believe how sarcastic that woman was to me!!!

Theres been so many things go on lately, but these are huge red flags arent they?

@CaptainMyCaptain thank you, I do agree that @billy1966 post was a little harsh. The people closest to me, i.e. all my friends and family who love me would never judge me for making a mistake, I simply got into a relationship a little bit blinded thought he was a great guy and I'm now seeing clearly with my own eyes that I need to remove him permanently from my life.

Get rid op and don’t go back, I was with a man like yours and it only got worse. They all seem to be made from the same mould and spout the same shite.

I had an on/off with an angry guy for too long - a lot of his -isms came out more recently- I dragged it on as he’d been nice mostly, but it made me feel bad about myself - like I’m the kind of girl thinks that sort of thing just fine - tried to discuss with him several times but he never understood and just said I was wrong, wrong, wrong - sigh. You’ll feel worse about yourself if it goes on, but you seem to be clear on dumping. It’s still not easy, as obviously there’s bits of him that seem ok and times that have been good, so be kind to yourself and enjoy the relief of not being embarrassed again!

Oh boo-hoo whore (him not you)

I lost respect for him a few months ago

That was your cue to finish it.

@MsJinks Thank you, yeah that's the only thing that has caused me to delay things the 'good' parts, and there was a lot at the beginning but this all dwindled. Last time I thought I was heartbroken untill.my friend made me realise I dont actually miss him as a person, I just miss the company, and even though I love my own company it was the thought that scared me - permanently on my own! But I have built myself esteem up and realised that I do not have to settle. Im really glad you got out of that relationship too and I bet your much happier now?

Ah yes, the straight white male. The most oppressed of all!

Seriously he’s a shitebag, get rid.

I've just messaged him and told him this relationship is not workign for me anymore, why am I nervous waiting his response!!

Well done. You don't need to worry about his response, ignore him.

Well done!! He’s a dead weight and will drag you down with his cynical nonsense.

@GenevieD - yes, I’m happier - I ummed and ahhed for too long. Exactly same as you, it was the company, I was used to the Saturday night company, and other bits of stuff/time, it dwindled latterly to weeks apart when I couldn’t be bothered to hear his voice, but then I’d think oh it’s not so bad, it will be a nice evening and go round again, then his conversation would irritate me again and so on - I really dragged it out over a good 15 months too long and possibly shouldn’t have got to that stage but done now. There is just no recovery I think from it, if you can’t stand the anger and isms make you uncomfortable- they’re not going to change, it bothers you more and more. It feels sad, but it’s truly not. Enjoy spending time alone - which suits boris too 🤣- worth it, honestly.

@MsJinks your story sounds identical to mine, it's been 17 months! And just like you I have my friday night routine seeing him, and I always look forward to seeing him get all dressed up looked forward to.it all day. And as soon as he starts talking I'm instantly annoyed and disappointed. I would try and talk about my day and as soon as I did he would talk straight over me. He still never knew what I done all day in my PhD office because as soon as I mentioned it he shut me down use to make my blood boil.

I just hope I dknt cave like last night, but this time around I have zero respect for him so that's surely got to say a lot.

Ugh! What a prize tool. So full of himself. Did he respond to your message OP?

I would text him and say the relationship is done, theres no room for you and your daughter to fit, what with his massive ego and all.

Then block the bastard.

You’ve also got a great big support network here @GenevieD! If you feel yourself wavering and in danger of unblocking him just come and post on here instead

You've done the right thing. I genuinely think his original text was his way of forcing your hand. I guarantee he won't want to end things, he was just trying to force you to change your routine to suit him. He will now backtrack, I guarantee.

That is called loser’s lurgy.

OP, I phrased that badly, my apologies.

I meant, YOU know it is reflecting badly on you, HIM being such a twat, that is why you are rightly embarrassed by him.

People are judged by the company they keep, so DON'T be judged.

Let your embarrassment be enough of a motivator to block him.

@Sunbird24 thank you it means a lot to have a big support network on here! I look forward to constantly refreshing the page and reading all of your comments.

He has responded back with "this time I feel like we can both say we tried everything to make it work"

@billy1966 Thank you, yes I can defintley see where your coming from, as I have been embarrassed by his actions for a long time. Its defintley a good motivator to end things

Just ignore his reply.

He sounds like my ex. Even his response is like something my unfeeling ex would write. Just delete the twat out of your life. He will only try to reel you back in. Like a fucked up game of cat and mouse.

He will probably try to win you back in a few days time, but it really doesn't sound like he is adding a lot to your life.

I dont think he will try to win me back as I can imagine his pride and ego has took a massive hit! Last time we split he was on a dating website the very next day, so I think he will quickly move onto the next one!

@GenevieD - so similar - the looking forward to going round then the increasing disappointment of it all 🤦🏻‍♀️ - you’ve done the right thing. As mine showed isms later really with our political changes, plus some personal circs and not having to worry about impact on kids, it ended up going on for 5 years - yes 5 - shamed and going to be more aware of earlier flag indicators before they wave bright, big and red in front of my face. And same, more or less dissed my job, pretended he’d had much better ones, then said it was down to him I got promoted! Not sure how as my conversations about my work were boring, so lasted very little time 🤦🏻‍♀️ Mine said ‘Cheers, have a good night’ when I wrapped it up lol. Probably expected me to go back but never again. You have so much going for you, don’t let an arrogant, angry man make it seem ‘less’ than it is, you ‘less’ than you are - it sneaks in under the radar that rubbish and it’s not true or right. I get the Friday thing but it really is a ‘habit’ that dies easier than expected. You’ll do it and feel better for it.

Well done!