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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Right to be offended by tonight's comments

158 replies

GenevieD · 12/10/2020 22:42

So my on/off partner messaged me tonight and said he hasent been in touch all day because hes absolutely furious at something that happened today. So he basically got pulled by police for something he shouldn't have been doing and got an on the spot fine.
He said he got victimised because he is a hardworking straight white Male. Then he said to the police officer I bet if I was a woman, or on benefits or of colour you would have let me off because it's not worth your job.

I was horrified to hear he had said that and I've really taken offence tonight. I am a single parent yes I work really hard to look after my daughter (but I do get a little bit of additional support in the way of benefits). He said woman would turn on the water works and say it's time of the month or use some other excuse like 'I'm pregnant' to get away with it.

So it's now turned into a little bit of a slanging match. He says nobody feels sorry for him because hes a white Male. Hes slated women tonight. Yesterday when I was out with him we were walking in the woods and there was a woman with an 18 month old toddler on reins and he walked really closely and impatiently behind him, so the lady said move over to let the man through, he stormed through. And then he said can you believe how sarcastic that woman was to me!!!

Theres been so many things go on lately, but these are huge red flags arent they?

OP posts:
GenevieD · 12/10/2020 23:22

@VaggieMight yeah he thinks because my neighbour who is a male receives benefits (because he is the main care giver for his daughter and has done a great job in raising his daughter) he should be entitled to something. Yet he just moans that he pays too much maintenance for his 2 kids to his ex wife. And nobody understands hard work like him because he works nearly 50 hours. And he makes out that I wouldn't understand what being tired is, when I look after my little one, i have 3 jobs and I sit up till gone 11 most nights working on my PhD! Whereas he sits at home alone no kids during the week and drinks!

OP posts:
Summerhillsquare · 12/10/2020 23:22

How long before you are on the receiving end of one of these outbursts, OP?

widespreadpanic · 12/10/2020 23:22

Yuck. He’s a nasty racist and misogynist.

Cantmakeupmind · 12/10/2020 23:24

He sounds like an awful human, get rid

RightOnTheEdge · 12/10/2020 23:24

GenevieD he kind of reminds me of my Dad. I get so embarrassed I pretend I'm not with him.

I'm sure he will start with the wrong person one day and someone will end up punching him.

Ditch him once and for all. You and your dd shouldn't be around a man like this you deserve much better.

TheClitterati · 12/10/2020 23:25

Get rid- it really will improve your life vastly.

Pet8 · 12/10/2020 23:25

You're better than this OP. He sounds absolutely horrific.

GenevieD · 12/10/2020 23:25

@Summerhillsquare I know exactly! He used to have a really good friendship group all his best mates and their wives, but after the divorce all his best mates wives shun him, a colleague from work yesterday shunned him when we were out! Doesnt add up does it..I use to feel so sorry for him, I'm seeing it all clearly now.

OP posts:
Justifiedandquiteold · 12/10/2020 23:26

Urgh. One of my ex's became like this. It doesn't get better. Run as fast as you can OP.

Fancycrackers · 12/10/2020 23:27

He's a racist, sexist, truly vile little man. Run before he turns to bullying you and your DD.

Aquamarine1029 · 12/10/2020 23:28

You tried the taking him back experiment and it has failed miserably. Bin off the arsehole.

SomeoneTellBorisHeHasDandruff · 12/10/2020 23:29

Trust your instincts.

This man child is a vile, racist, sexist, bigoted excuse for a human being.

P.s I just knew a man like that would not say ‘person of colour‘, I don’t want to imagine what he did actually say.

Bin him OP permanently, what exactly are you waiting for? Do you want to spend any more days / months / years making excuses to people for his disgusting behaviour?

GenevieD · 12/10/2020 23:33

@Aquamarine1029 Exactly! It cured my curiosity of what ifs.... quite fast, not changed one bit. For the first year of relationship he use to say how much of a positive and happy and optimistic person he was. Which I found a bit odd because even as an outgoing and positive person myself I would never say that I was or bang on about it. Then covid struck and nobody had it as bad as he did (he didnt loose job or anything) he used that as an excuse and said his behaviour was totally out of character, now its happening all again...but its not going to wash this time

OP posts:
Torvean32 · 12/10/2020 23:34

If only he could get a few months of cramping , heavy and painful periods...

BewilderedDoughnut · 12/10/2020 23:37

He said he got victimised because he is a hardworking straight white male

He belongs to the most privileged group of people on the entire planet!

Bin him, he’s ignorant and gross!

oakleaffy · 12/10/2020 23:44

@GenevieD

You know in your core what he said was really wrong.

Racist, toddlerist, bad tempered &c....

He sounds ghastly.

If he dropped litter [?] that is also another red flag in my book.

Definitely get rid.

Butterer · 12/10/2020 23:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SBTLove · 12/10/2020 23:57

@GenevieD
toddlerist 🤣
I’d definitely bin him for being a litter lout

Belleblush · 12/10/2020 23:57

My ex was exactly like this. He is saved in my phone as ‘The Joyless Cunt’.

Avoid!

GabsAlot · 13/10/2020 00:04

what he get done for-bet he denied doing it aswell

BewilderedDoughnut · 13/10/2020 00:05

My ex was exactly like this. He is saved in my phone as ‘The Joyless Cunt’

Amazing!! 😂😂😂

TheGinGenie · 13/10/2020 00:07

He sounds like a very bitter little man. You can do better

EKGEMS · 13/10/2020 00:26

@Belleblush LMAO

Belleblush · 13/10/2020 00:37

He’s saved but he’s blocked AF! And he was a joyless cunt. I spent 18 miserable months with him. Get out now OP!

GeorgiaGirl52 · 13/10/2020 01:16

You don't want him around your daughter. Block him.

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