Right to be offended by tonight's comments

[GenevieD]

So my on/off partner messaged me tonight and said he hasent been in touch all day because hes absolutely furious at something that happened today. So he basically got pulled by police for something he shouldn't have been doing and got an on the spot fine.
He said he got victimised because he is a hardworking straight white Male. Then he said to the police officer I bet if I was a woman, or on benefits or of colour you would have let me off because it's not worth your job.

I was horrified to hear he had said that and I've really taken offence tonight. I am a single parent yes I work really hard to look after my daughter (but I do get a little bit of additional support in the way of benefits). He said woman would turn on the water works and say it's time of the month or use some other excuse like 'I'm pregnant' to get away with it.

So it's now turned into a little bit of a slanging match. He says nobody feels sorry for him because hes a white Male. Hes slated women tonight. Yesterday when I was out with him we were walking in the woods and there was a woman with an 18 month old toddler on reins and he walked really closely and impatiently behind him, so the lady said move over to let the man through, he stormed through. And then he said can you believe how sarcastic that woman was to me!!!

Theres been so many things go on lately, but these are huge red flags arent they?

No need to chat about it. Send the suggested reply and block him then he can't interrupt the meeting.

His idea of chatting will be to point out all your supposed faults and how good he's been at dealing with them. I honestly don't think you should chat about it, just end it.

@whatwouldjohnmclanedo his weekends are 'precious' because he is so hard done to by having to work! He forgets that I'm a full time mum, juggling 3 jobs and a PhD but because I also get a few benefits, he thinks I have it easy! And he said he may aswell quit work and get benefits! Such a bad attitude to have!

Can't you just use @jellybeans44 reply and then block? It sounds like you're not ready to do that but he's so vile I can't understand why!

@GenevieD
You sound like you’re hitting the right mindset. Stay strong and BLOCK

To me it definitely sounds like he's wanting you to come running and pander to his shite. Don't give him the power. "Nah I don't think we need to talk, I think you're right let's just leave it". He's just a big baby expecting the "oh no I don't want to end it!!". Try and stay strong. I've been there myself, wanting to end things but when they try it's what?? No it was meant to be me that ended it! So that's exactly what he's doing with wanting to talk.

You must end this relationship. If there’s any chance he might hoover you back don’t see him in person. You are allowed to break up with him by message.
Imagine if you remain in a relationship and move in together how he would treat your poor daughter. If he is this honest and open about his dislike of women he will be infinitely more abusive and horrible once your lives are more deeply entwined.
‘Recent events’ have nothing to do with his current behaviour. His behaviour is rooted in firmly held beliefs about his superiority and entitlement. In my experience it takes a lot more than it should for joint friends to turn against one party in a divorce so he has probably been a total arsehole to his ex wife as well.

nobody feels sorry for him because he is a prick.

What a self indulgent, racist, wanker. I hope you used Jellybean's response. Don't get drawn in with 'further chats'...the conclusion has been made by you both, not to continue the relationship and there is nothing else to discuss.

Good luck OP, you are free from this arsehole now.

Block if you haven't already.

I'd also consider it a red flag that he could become abusive, due to his attitude to people 'on benefits' (you're not really living on enefits, you work hard but live on a low income so get a bit of money to cover a few things) and to women. He couuld end up taking his resentment towards women out on you.

Stop making excuses for not dumping this idiot already.

Did you chat to him in the end, OP?

@LannieDuck not yet I'm just having dinner at my mum and dads house, then once I get home I will message home. I'm worried he will keep pestering my phone if I do it while I'm here.

[quote GenevieD]@LannieDuck not yet I'm just having dinner at my mum and dads house, then once I get home I will message home. I'm worried he will keep pestering my phone if I do it while I'm here.[/quote]
Can't you just end it on text then block him on everything. He can't pester you then.

After dinner I mean, not saying you should do it during dinner! I get the sense you're going to cave and talk to him rather than just telling him it's over which I think would be a mistake.

Why ‘chat’, this embarrassing farce has been dragged on too long already, you picked the human equivalent of a pile of rubbish with a voice box. Never again tolerate such trash again, or expose your kid to it. Jfc.

Send the message and turn your phone off.

What an arsehole. How can you even find this man attractive. Eww

[quote GenevieD]@LannieDuck not yet I'm just having dinner at my mum and dads house, then once I get home I will message home. I'm worried he will keep pestering my phone if I do it while I'm here.[/quote]
He is going to try to convert you into agreeing with him. I speak from experience.

No to chatting, or talking things over, yes to Jellybeans classy message, and block the bastard!

@Etinox

Bin. More red flags than the long march.

🤣🤣🤣. Love it!

It's funny how men like this love complaining that disadvantaged groups like 'playing the victim' , then proceed to make an even bigger victim of themselves!

OP,

You being with someone so awful says a lot about YOU, unfortunately.

Think about EXACTLY why you are mortified to talk to your friends and family about him...and imagine what THEY are thinking.

When people stay in relationships with twat's like him it DOES reflect on them.

We do judge people on the company they keep.

Think about your reputation.

@billy1966 and your post says a lot about you. It's not helpful kicking someone when they're down. The OP needs support not character assassination.

'Not all men' but DEFINITELY this guy.

All the '-ists' you can think of and a bonus few you can't.

Bet he spends his days in the comments section of the Daily Mail.

He is the reason bins were invented.

NEXT.