Boyfriend is upset we haven't had sex in 3 days. How do I respond?

[1455adviceneeded]

I'm in desperate need of some advice and don't really know where else to turn to. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, lived together for 2 and a half. When we started living with each other he regularly got quite frustrated that we didn't have sex as much as we used to. I work irregular shift patterns and often get home late and don't feel like having sex, but I would still say we have it 2-3 times a week. He would often go into these very angry and hostile moods yet claim he was fine, only to eventually reveal that he was angry because we haven't had sex in a few days. This would often result in me getting angry and upset, feeling useless and like there is something wrong with me.
Admittedly, these past few days I have just simply not been in the mood. Covid cases rising and not being able to see my family has made me feel very depressed, and sex has just generally not been at the forefront of my mind. Last night, after I came home from a 10 hour shift, my boyfriend sent me a sexually suggestive message from another room and I didn't see it as I was asleep.
Today we are both in the house and I have noticed something was wrong, he seemed very hostile and snappy with me. I asked him multiple times if he was okay but he denied anything being wrong. I eventually got out of him that his 'pent up sexual frustration from me rejecting him for 3 days' along with stress from work was causing him to be angry.
As I mentioned, we have had these argument so many times before and I just don't know how to respond anymore. I feel like I'm being manipulated to an extent, and I don't know if his reaction to no sex for 3 days is reasonable. It makes me want to have sex even less as I feel like I've been forced into it to make him happy.
Has anyone else had a similar experience to this? I will say I love him very much and every other part of our relationship is completely fine.

Does it matter his reason? You aren't suited and shouldn't put up with it

He's also, basically, told you that if you don't feel like sex all the time, he's going to cheat...

Way to make your, apparently loved, girlfriend feel secure and sexy...

I think he ought to get really matey with Mrs Palmer, because with an attitude like that, hopefully that's going to be his only option soon. . .

he doesn't know if 20 years down the line I might start wanting sex less and less while his sex drive is the same and he might want to cheat on me

His libido will not decrease over the next Twenty years? Is he a robot? and he can want to cheat on you all he wants once you're a memory.

Poor little lamb didn't have enough sex. Listen to all of the previous posters. LTB. Get out now before you are gaslighted/manipulated into thinking that its all your fault. It always will be.

So he'll either sulk or cheat if you don't drop your knickers on demand.
You know there's no future in this don't you.
End it, you deserve much better .

He couldn’t sound less appealing, could he?
Yep, you’re being gaslighted and manipulated so I would definitely not continue the relationship because believe me, it won’t get any better.

OP
What happens if you are ill or have your period, and don't want to?
Do you still do it?

I wouldn't waste another minute of your life on this person seriously. Who here finds a passive aggressive brat sexy??👎

There comes a point where you have to take some responsibility for choosing to remain in an abusive, shit relationship with an absolute fuckwit of a man. You can't possibly see a future with him, can you? How can you just sit there and allow him to treat you so horribly? You're nothing more than a fuck doll to this loser. Get out of there.

LTB

He’s a would be rapist waiting to strike.

This won't change. And long term if you had an illness or a baby and weren't able to, you'd be not only dealing with your extra issues, but his surliness too. I'm sure when he's like this he also doesn't help out, it's a shut down. So imagine if you're post c-section, struggling with baby, struggling with life and he's pissed off because you're not finding him attractive so he withdraws at exactly the time you need him. You get resentful and don't want to have sex because you're already struggling with so much. Round and round it goes.

I personally would question whether to stay with him.

I would get rid. Fair enough if he wants daily sex, you don't. He can find someone more compatible rather than guilt tripping you.

My ex was like this. I'd start dreading him expecting sex and having to decide whether just to do it or put up with his angry sulking. Its lovely to be rid of him.

Run for the hills

Do not have children with this man

Run
for
The
hills

Leave him. Seriously.

Vile, vile, vile. Joining the chorus of saying end it right now. Why would you stay another minute with this disgusting pig?

Are you still attracted to him?

Having duty sex to avoid moody man or pity sex to avoid sad man is guaranteed to give you the ick eventually.

I reckon 2.5 years of sex sulks would be long enough to make your vagina dry out and clam up at the thought of having sex. I expect initiating thoughts wouldn't often cross your mind as a result, except as a duty/pity move.

Agree that his attitude is appalling. Also how can you possibly initiate sex when he doesn't give you the space to do so. The constant pestering can't be be much of an aphrodisiac either.

Does he have any redeeming features ?

He is telling you what he is really like.
Listen!

Is this what you want to live with long term?

OMG you are just there to service his needs another voice saying time to split

Erm, so he thinks your job as his partner is to service him whenever he feels like it, regardless of whether you feel like it or not? OP, what does that tell you about how he views your relationship? Is that a relationship of equals?

Given that you cannot change his core beliefs about what he’s entitled to, namely that he has needs and that you must satisfy them, is that really the kind of relationship you want to be in?

It doesn’t sound to me like he has much respect for you as a person. If he did he wouldn’t throw a hissy whenever you don’t want to let him have sex with your body. I can’t think of anything less sexy than that.

LTB and quickly

Out out out out out. NOW

Perhaps a 'with sympathy at this difficult time' card?

You should dump him he is a nasty pestering bully.
My ex husband did this which is why he is ex, I haven't got time for it.
He onviously doesn't give a shit how you are feeling and quite frankly his attitude is a massive turn off.
Nobody wants to have sex with a nasty bully.