I’ve name-changed for this as it’s probably pretty outing to the people I’ve told IRL.
I finally left exH recently after a 10 year marriage. On the outside, he seemed like the perfect husband and everyone he meets loves him. He’s respected in our religious community, he helps the wider community and he just paints this picture that he’s a really nice guy. But our marriage was awful. Everything had to be exactly how he wanted it, or he’d berate me for hours. He’d play tricks on me to make me think I was going crazy, and twist my words. If he wanted sex, I had to say yes or he’d just hold me down and force me. He rarely actually hit me, but it was always where nobody would see. He never lost his temper with me in public, but I’d often get it for things that had annoyed him when we got home.
He always told me that nobody would ever believe me if I told them about him, and he was right. Now I’ve left him, he’s still the well-respected man he always was. Most of the few people I’ve tried to tell clearly don’t believe me and I feel so alone.
We have two children so I still have to see him and I know what he’s telling other people about me. I feel like I’m still trapped even though I’ve left him and I don’t know how I can deal with the judgement, even from my family.