How would you react to your young adult child if they said they were engaged?

[Szyz2020]

I don’t know why but I have an inkling that DD who has just turned 21 is about to get

TOFO We have similar situation here. Plus they haven't lived away from home as independent adults, DD works part time, her BF has a seasonal job that disappears for half the year and he does not try to get other work.

I'd not be totally happy, but I wouldn't show it. I'd advise that they live together independently (so not in Uni accommodation, at home etc) for at least a year before getting married.
It's easy to be blissful at the start but the reality of living with someone is an important experience imho.

OP, I would be happy they are happy and offer my congratulations. You may try to suggest they take their time planning a wedding/saving for house etc. Plus an engagement won't always culminate in a marriage.

I get what you mean OP. Most 21yos are 'younger' now than they ever have been. My mum married at 20 - but she started work at 14 and moved out when she was 17, and had a period working abroad during that time too. Its very different for young people now.

I'd be hoping for a long engagement put it that way.

I would say congratulations.

An engagement doesn’t mean a marriage especially if their age means they are likely to have a lack of savings to have the sort of wedding they may have anticipated. Plus the pandemic will probably delay things as well.

21 is young when you’re still in and have only ever been in full time education and supported by parents. It’s nowhere near the same as the starting work at 16/having a baby at 19 examples as you grow up quicker in the real world. Am sure there are exceptions but I remember working with a girl my age in my first job who didn’t go to university as she fell pregnant and had a baby, she just was so worldly wise! I was experienced in cheap drinks at student nights.

I’d pop a bottle of fizz in the fridge, shout yes, I told you so!! to the rest of the family and get out my wedding mood board. That might put them off a little while!

I got engaged to my DH on my 21st birthday, we'd been going out a year. We've now been married 26 years, and as much in love today as we were then.

I was 19 when I got engaged. I was 22 when we got married and 27 when DS was born at the end of last year. It can work.

My lovely daughter became engaged to her long term boyfriend at age 20. Whatever reservations I had I kept to myself and just offered my sincere congratulations. They are still engaged 2 years later...

I would say congratulations, however in the context of it not being a particularly long relationship so far I would subtly encourage a long engagement and certainly put off paying for wedding items until 2 years in ish. My dd is likely to get engaged young, not that anything is a given, 3 year relationship so far though so if they get engaged when they graduate next year it's not exactly sudden, she's also mentioned that as their intention

I would offer congratulations. And hope for the best

I was engaged at 19, married at 20, had 3 children, 2 grandchildren and still married 34 years later.
Eldest son was engaged at 19, didn't marry, went on a gap year with his fiance, moved in with her, had a child at 21, another at 23 and is no longer with their mother.
Its difficult to say really, all you can do is support your daughter in her choices.

I forgot to say that I was 25 when we got married and 30 when we had first DC. I'd lived in 3 different countries on my own by then too, all with now DH's support.

It doesn't necessarily mean that she'll give up all her dreams.

If my child was with someone who genuinely made them happy and treated them well, then I would be happy for them.

I was 18 when I got engaged. Big age gap and I was studying but it worked , mum and dad wasn't supportive and put our relationships under a lot of strain (parents) I finished my education, got a great job and had 3 kids together since. We're still together 8 years later and stronger then ever. My parents don't like this fact though ! As they was proven wrong so no just be supportive no matter what. If it doesn't work. Support them. If it does then be happy and support them ! Xx