Husband Webcam hell!

[Mama2Cubs]

Hi all

I’m having a terrible time with my husband at the moment and I can’t find any threads anywhere that mirror my situation. I’m just wondering if this is one of the most absurd things you have ever heard...

So a while back I discovered my husband using WebCam Girls and he told me that he had done it a couple of times and couldn’t explain why. I tried to forgive him and move past it only to discover that he has actually had a year long online affair with one of them. Telling her he loves her and that they are soulmates. He has spent £100s (if not £1000s!) on WebCam sessions and gifts that he has been sending to her. He has also taken out a £10k loan to ‘buy nice things’- or pay for webcams as I expect! He says the affair moved away from the paid webcam sessions some months ago (he even treated himself to a pay as you go phone especially for it!) but he has continued to reward her with gifts. He has kept me in the dark about our financial position and as a SAHM I trusted him explicitly in looking after our families best interests. I have also discovered he has been looking at very extreme porn. He has now left us to live at his parents house and continue this online affair, he has told me that he will do me the kindness of letting me know if it progresses to a real life relationship. He has lied to me constantly for months, gaslighting me when I had suspicions something was going on. The manipulations and emotional abuse is never ending.

I think I’m looking for some reassurance that it is a good thing we aren’t together anymore. It is just hard as we have been together since we were so young and have small children. It’s all come as such a shock!

Thanks for reading! X

Ha. She's some woman just out for his money, they'll never have a real life relationship. Just remember who'll be happier when you find another proper, authentic man who treats you amazingly and he's left with nothing

Be assured, it is a very good thing you aren't together any more.

Make sure you get legal advice regarding his financial input for his DC before he spunks all his money on his cam crush.

Don't hide the reason for the split. You need the support of family and friends.

What an absolute mug he is. Surely he isn’t naive enough to believe he will ever meet her, let alone establish a ‘real’ relationship? You are definitely better off without this absolute fool. Once he’s out of cash, guarantee he’ll never see her on or offline again.

Firstly I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Secondly, please seek legal advise asap regarding finances as if your Ex DH is blowing family money on this nonsense you need to protect yourself and your children whilst there are any finaces left.

These girls are paid a lot of money to lure men like this in, in no way would there be any chance of them having a real relationship. the woman will be rubbing her hands all the way to the ank. your husband is a fool and you deserve so much better

Its a really good thing you are no longer being dragged down by this cheating idiot.

I mean, come on, how on earth can he think she really cares for him? How stupid is he?

Unfortunately he's spending money that is an asset of your marriage. Divorce him quick or there'll be nothing left

Definitely well rid!! She will have dozens of mugs telling her she loves them and sending her gifts. And she will be telling every single one of them she loves them back. It's her business, her job! What a filthy perverted fool your DH is!!
I agree with every other poster. Get legal advice and protect you and your kids before he ruins you by taking more debt to pay for his sexual fantasy. What a disgusting man. Tell everybody, make him face what he has, and is, doing.

Yes you've definitely done the right thing to end it. What a mug he is to say he loves her, she'll say anything in return for money.
As others have said, seek legal advice on your finances.

You are so, so much better off without him. Not only is he an absolute mug, but he is a lying, cheating, selfish tosser, and as for the extreme porn, he sounds like a disgusting misogynist too. Yuck. Reach out to friends and family irl for support and never let him come back.

God how awful for you OP. I would absolutely kick him out for good. Sounds like he's got a bit of an addiction tbh and he's naive to think a woman he's paying is falling in love with him
He's an idiot but that's his issue now. Let him waste his money thinking it's for love and definitely make sure it's clear in any settlement you agree particularly if you were reliant on his income and how much of it's he's spent on this.

yeah he is a gross perv and a dumb one at that if he thinks he's riding off into the sunset with this cam girl, you and your children are far better off without him! it will feel shitty for a while but not as shitty as constantly wondering what he is doing behind your back. also all that money he has wasted without a though for you or your kids!! you are well rid

Wow he's an idiot isn't he?

He means absolutely NOTHING to this woman. She's out earning a living from stupid men like him.

I'm sorry it's happened but you're well rid now. Focus on moving on. He's not worth reconciliation so don't try. He never stopped even after finding out.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I felt shocked reading your OP that he has treated you this way in your relationship.

He has lied to you, betrayed you, gaslighted you and effectively stolen from your family to feed this .... What? I can't call it a relationship, its a joke.

He has diminished you and your relationship, that's on him not you.

Get angry, stay angry. He's a completely selfish and deluded prick.

He's nobodies first choice. Nobody would choose to be with someone who has behaved as he has.

You can do so much better.

You are at the start of the rest of your life and things will get better. But be practical- Consult a lawyer ASAP to see how you can deal with him spending your money before the divorce is done.

You might not realise this but him leaving is the best thing to happen to you.

No woman online loves that man. They want his money!! He will realise that and when he does it'll be too late for you two!

You deserve hundreds times better. Just remember that. 🌸

Get legal advice as soon as you can and divorce this idiotic man. Leave him to his grubby fantasy life but make sure you and your children are financially okay first.

How has he explained the breakup of your relationship to his parents? Has he told them he's in love with a sex worker?

Rest assured OP, you are definitely doing the right thing. He's completely disrespected you and your family and appears to be stupid too.

Walk away with your head high. What an idiot he is.
There is no relationship here, he’s been played for sure.
You are best off well away from the whole thing before even more debt and lies get tied to you as well as him.
Get the ball rolling with separating formally, get the money and home secured for your children.
This man is pathetic. See him for what he is, don’t look back.
So sorry you’re having to go through this now... but it is for the best, I promise.

Yes well rid. Goodness can you think what it would have been like in 20 years time when he gets a mid-life crisis.....

OMG, least he’s gone now! What was the website called? Did you see the woman?

Good god what an utter cunt. His leaving will be THE best thing that has ever happened to you.

Do you have proof of everything? Get it and send copies to someone outside of the home. When you say he was watching extreme porn? Anything illegal I would report to the police and get him as far away from the children as possible.

he has told me that he will do me the kindness of letting me know if it progresses to a real life relationship

What a thoroughly decent bloke.

OP, part of me is like, "Need you ask for reassurance that you've done the right thing???" but then, I understand what it's like what an utterly manipulative, fucked up, self-centred, self-serving head case has shredded your self-esteem to the bone.

For your children's sake, you have to channel ALL of your pragmatism. This is about money, right now. You need to protect your assets for the sake of you and your children. You need to be angry.

Just keep reminding yourself that Webcam Lover is taking food from your babies' mouths. That'll give you the moxie you need to stay strong. I was married to a bastard. But your experience trumps my own. Yours is the King of Bastards. Fight for your children's right to a comfortable, secure upbringing (yes, this means money), one that your husband is throwing away on tits and ass. My blood boils on your behalf. I am so terribly sorry for you, yet relieved that you're not stuck for life with this pathetic, pathetic, pathetic man who has burnt his bridges over wank fodder! Pathetic!! Mind boggling, really.
You will be more than alright. It just take t ime to get to that better place. Don't ever look back.

Oh my gosh OP you poor thing! He's such a laughable wanker though! Literally!

He's paying some girl to masturbate over her cam sessions and she's just taking his (your!) cash and laughing at him.

I promise you it's a good thing he's left.

Tell him you don't give a shit if it progresses into an actual relationship (it won't).

She has many men like him...all giving her money.

He is being milked dry by this scammer and you will end up homeless if you don't act right away.

Secure any money you have and your interest in the house and get a legal separation, and don't be vague about why.

I understand what it's like what... WHEN, not what.