Hi!
I wanted to respond to say that I have recently discovered my husband has been webcamming.
It isn't as extreme as this (I hope, although I'm asking to see his bank accounts every month) but it's been devastating and has pretty much put an end to our marraige (I say pretty much because we are living together and not said it out loud, but it is).
My husband has a sex/porn addiction, and I'm from what I have read of your story, I'd hazard your husband is the same. Let's be clear though, although it has a label, the gravity of the betrayal isn't lessened.
It may help you to understand it a bit more if you look it up, look up Paula Hall who's a leading expert in this area. Only when you're ready and if you're interested.
It's so sad though. My whole marriage is tainted by this, and what he engages with has evolved over time and become completely detached from his values.
The first piece of advice I read was that you have to look after yourself first and foremost.
The parents minimising and indulging him is basically him minimising it and gaslighting them too. This version he feeds them is nicer and more romantic than the reality.
It also struck a chord with me that he's getting his bedroom all set up. I remember pointing out to my husband that all he'll be left with is him wanking in his parents loft room. Maybe that is actually appealing to him than dealing with his family!
Take care of yourself, there will be ups and downs but I like to think you'll reflect on this one day and see what a lucky escape you've had.
Xxx
Ps just to echo the others. WHAT A DICK.