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Original poster

Partner keeps touching his own nipples

164 replies

sharonJJ55 · 08/09/2020 00:06

Recently slept with new partner for the first time and he has this habit of keep flicking and pinching his nipples to turn himself on. Literally every time his hands weren't on me I could see him doing this to his nipples & it was a bit of a turn off. I've never had a man do this before, especially to themselves so much during sex. Would this put you off and how do I bring up this subject to him? Is it a bit worrying that he needs to do this so much to turn himself on?

If you've found this page in your search of nipple toys and clamps that have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best nipple toys useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

OP posts:
Jute6555 · 09/09/2020 08:51

By using both his hands and his efforts to pleasure himself during sex ALL THE TIME he is a selfish lover. Woman or men can touch themselves in any way they wish during sex. To do it constantly is both boring and selfish. I would feel used if this was happening in my sex life tbh.

Wondersense · 09/09/2020 10:27

Also, wouldn't you at least want to touch the other person's body at one point? Because it's just nice to do that?

Wondersense · 09/09/2020 10:28

@TellySavalashairbrush

Is it just me that keeps thinking of Alan Partridge- ‘would you like me to lap dance for you?’ Grin
Grin
Dontletitbeyou · 09/09/2020 15:12

He’s having fun . Sex should be fun . If that’s what turns him on then I don’t see the problem , as long as he made sure all your needs were taken care of .
If that’s his thing and it’s a dealbreaker for you , you know what you have to do .

Suzi888 · 09/09/2020 15:28

Dontletitbeyou

He’s having fun . Sex should be fun . If that’s what turns him on then I don’t see the problem , as long as he made sure all your needs were taken care of .
If that’s his thing and it’s a dealbreaker for you , you know what you have to do .

^^this

It’d be a deal breaker for meConfusedim afraid

NewFactsEmerge · 09/09/2020 15:35

If op really dislikes it so much then she should stop seeing this man, it's controlling to get him to stop touching his own body just so that she can continue seeing him

People love the word controlling on this website. Everything is so controlling all the time!

If my partner starts doing weird things during sex, it's perfectly fine for me to tell him it turns me off, rather than just jumping straight to "we can't see each other any more". It's just adult communication. Maybe it's actually LESS controlling to give him that choice.

Like, I don't just instantly divorce my husband when he farts in bed. I tell him I don't like it. And guess what? That's not controlling! I'm just telling him how I feel, so he can either stop, or he continue making me uncomfortable to the point where i do have to leave him.

jessstan2 · 09/09/2020 15:51

@Suzi888

Dontletitbeyou

He’s having fun . Sex should be fun . If that’s what turns him on then I don’t see the problem , as long as he made sure all your needs were taken care of .
If that’s his thing and it’s a dealbreaker for you , you know what you have to do .

^^this

It’d be a deal breaker for meConfusedim afraid

It would for me too. The op says he does it all the time! Once or twice would be alright and I'd be more than happy to caress and kiss his nipples but it sounds like he is love with them.
EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 09/09/2020 15:54

Mamas nipples and gore play, got to be some of the best autocorrects!

talltreewessex · 09/09/2020 18:35

Jesus lady chill out.

We all have the things we like. Poor bloke.

If you’re going to dislike a man because he does something so innocent then maybe you’re not right together.

To the women who are in sexless relationships... this one is a goer!

jessstan2 · 09/09/2020 19:02

@talltreewessex

Jesus lady chill out.

We all have the things we like. Poor bloke.

If you’re going to dislike a man because he does something so innocent then maybe you’re not right together.

To the women who are in sexless relationships... this one is a goer!

:-).

I'd rather do without.

Yes we all have things we like, and dislike; we do not get into a serious relationship with someone with whom we are not compatible and this guy is obviously not the right one for the op.

I once knew a chap who liked listening to my heartbeat through a stethoscope.

talltreewessex · 09/09/2020 19:34

Haha. That is funny. But the parts make up the whole and all that.

I have a friend who is a doctor who does that to his dog.

SoulofanAggron · 09/09/2020 19:46

@sammylady37 If you are ok with this camp thing then that's fine, but some of us aren't into it, which is also fine. I'm bi/pan but I know what I like.

Like, I don't just instantly divorce my husband when he farts in bed. I tell him I don't like it. And guess what? That's not controlling! I'm just telling him how I feel, so he can either stop, or he continue making me uncomfortable to the point where i do have to leave him.

@NewFactsEmerge That's what I think too. I get the other poster's points that if he wants to constantly play with his moobs it's up to him. But letting him know I'm not into it would give him an opportunity to not be dumped.

Nikori · 09/09/2020 19:49

@talltreewessex

Haha. That is funny. But the parts make up the whole and all that.

I have a friend who is a doctor who does that to his dog.

I thought you meant the nipple thing. Shock
talltreewessex · 09/09/2020 20:47

@sammylady37 “This camp thing” is very very disrespectful.

To call someone camp in a disrespectful manner is not cool in 2020. I’m no woke but I know that you’re being very uncool.

SoulofanAggron · 09/09/2020 20:57

@talltreewessex That was me to be fair. I am LGBT but campness isn't attractive to me in a lover. Ok in a friend Smile

talltreewessex · 09/09/2020 21:01

Being camp should be used in a derogatory way.

Nikori · 09/09/2020 21:03

@talltreewessex

Being camp should be used in a derogatory way.
Should? Shouldn't? Shock
Gladysthesphinx · 09/09/2020 21:10

talltreewessex who does what to the dog? Not its nipples?
Worried.

Rigamorph · 09/09/2020 21:11

@Gladysthesphinx

Listens to its heartbeat.

At least I hope that was it!

Pagwatch · 09/09/2020 21:17

Good sex and communication are usually linked
If a bloke is doing something you don’t like tell him. If you are doing something he doesn’t like then hopefully he will tell you. And hopefully you’ll tell each other about the stuff you do like
Pretending you like something you don’t it wasting your time. Making yourself tolerate something you don’t like seems ridiculous unless the rest of the relationship is so magnificent it’s worth it.

People’s sexual preferences are up to them and if you don’t like a bloke playing endlessly with his own nipples that’s entirely up to you. It’s not at election upon you. You’re not obliged to stay silent if you think telling g him may help your relationship long term. And this is anonymous forum so unless you are being gratuitously unkind you can ask anything you like without filtering because it might hurt his feelings

My neighbour plays with his nipples whenever he strokes his cat so it’s never going to be something I’m ok with tbh

Gladysthesphinx · 09/09/2020 21:17

Oh phew!

Kettlingur · 09/09/2020 21:20

How utterly controlling.

Imagine that, wanting to control what kind of sex acts you're attracted to... Confused

Gladysthesphinx · 09/09/2020 21:21

Am I the only person to be concerned about the sudden entry of various domestic pets into this thread?

Pagwatch · 09/09/2020 21:21

I don’t even know what the election bit was meant to say.
It’s been a long day

Pagwatch · 09/09/2020 21:23

I’m sorry Gladys

In my defence I have to watch it all the time and in summer he’s bare chested all the time