Partner keeps touching his own nipples

[sharonJJ55]

Recently slept with new partner for the first time and he has this habit of keep flicking and pinching his nipples to turn himself on. Literally every time his hands weren't on me I could see him doing this to his nipples & it was a bit of a turn off. I've never had a man do this before, especially to themselves so much during sex. Would this put you off and how do I bring up this subject to him? Is it a bit worrying that he needs to do this so much to turn himself on?

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I agree that he was maybe hoping you would take over doing it so he didn't have to. It is obviously something he likes and not something that would bother me.

@sharonJJ55

Absolutely don't mind licking and caressing the mama nipples a bit as part of gore play but he was doing on himself the whole time, either with one hand or both.

Also loving ‘gore play’ :)

I would find this a bit off putting too. Not that he's touching himself but if it was a constant thing it's just a bit weird. Sorry but it is.

Would be you be ok with him telling you that he was turned off by you stimulating your clitoris during sex? Serious question

Yes, of course I would be okay with that. What do you want me to say, no my partner may not have preferences about our sex life? If he doesn't like something, he tells me! If it's unresolvable then it's not meant to be.

I also was tickled by “gore play”.

I agree that he wants you to take the hint and start playing with them.

It sounds like you aren’t really sexually compatible. Just cut your losses and move on.

This issue isn't about who's right or wrong, if something turns you off, it just does.

You should've took the hint and played with his nipples then. You sound clinical, watching him disapprovingly. If you aren't compatible sexually then leave. You've no right to tell him something that could make him feel bad and self-conscious about himself.

Didn't you just start touching them instead?

If that's not your thing and you also don't like him touching himself, then I'd think you are not very sexually compatible. I guess you could say to him that you find it a turn off. I'd want to know so I could immediately stop having sex with a partner who felt that way.

Yuck......

The way you describe it, it sounds fetish-y.

Well if you don't like it, stop this now.

You could try talking to him but it's a bit mean. What was the rest of it like? Worth it?

I've got visions of a guy twiddling away like he's trying to tune an analogue radio 📻

Yep, would be a turn off for me I think it's weird.

He's probably have to work harder at turning himself on because you're not that compatible.

That's a no from me too.🤢

Unless he is an octopus you can’t be getting much pleasure - that’s probably the real issue.

@im5050

My husband has really sensitive nipple It’s brilliant because when I want him to cum I just have to bite or squeeze them a bit and that’s it So when I’m getting tired ..... 😂I know what to do

😂😂😂

Are you sure he's not fantasizing about being about being a woman in his head?

@Wondersense

Are you sure he's not fantasizing about being about being a woman in his head?

Why on earth would you say that

Next time ask him if he wants you to do it to him.

gore play

Love it 😂😂

Bet this is a fetish that actually exists.

I don’t think the OP is ‘mean’ for not pretending that she’s into a behaviour that doesn’t turn her on.

It’s a behaviour that in fact sounds rather odd and not within the usual range of ‘first time coupling’ type of behaviours, and it’s left her not knowing how to deal with it.

I’d be turned off by it because quite frankly, it sounds like ‘normal sex’ with a focus on each other, isn’t enough for him.... It’s almost like he brought self focused actions (masturbatation) into what should have been a reciprocal and two person type of experience (first time sex with a new partner)

I’d be worried about that behaviour.

It’s kind of selfish to act like you’re masturbating ie all about his own body and his own pleasure... when someone else is there too, you’re leaving someone else out in the cold!

I’d feel somewhat uneasy that I’m not enough to either keep him hard enough to continue, or that he simply sees nothing wrong with bringing a behaviour that’s different / a little fetishy into the ‘safe’ space of the bedroom, without the courtesy of introducing you to it slowly, explaining it or asking you to join in etc.... basically, where’s the politeness? Where is the other person in his behaviour?

Not for me but it's not unusual - it's why nipple clamps exist! Just don't sleep with him again

I cannot believe anyone would have a problem with this. If you know he likes it, why don't you do it?

If it turns you off, it turns you off. You don’t have to try and like it or justify why you don’t.
Ignore posters who think you should make an effort to ignore your own feelings in order to please him