Hi MN
Im 28 and have been seeing a man I met from a dating website now for five weeks now and we're pretty close, we have spent a lot time together. I've never felt such a connection with someone before. I did the freedom programme due to my last abusive relationship so I made sure I made it clear what my boundaries were and what I expect from us dating. We seemed on the same page until last night! From the beginning I told him I'm not into drugs and would want someone similar. He said he used to smoke weed but hasn't touched it in months because he'd love to completely come off it. My gut told me that wasn't true so I would occasionally bring it up and he would always reassure me. Deep down I knew he was lying but I felt he was too scared to admit. Last night it all came out, I went to his place after his friend left and it smelt of weed. He fully admitted he had touched it and said it's something he does occasionally, once a month when he see's a friend. I told him, it's not the weed that's an issue now, it's the lie. You took away my chance to make a decision about us before getting emotional invested. I told him I deserve better than to be lied to and he couldn't stop apologising, saying the usual "He was scared to lose me, he was selfish" If he had been honest from the beginning, I think I could have accepted him doing it occasionally as we got along so well. Now that the feelings are so strong, my head is all over the place. I want to make the right decision as I messed up so bad in my past relationships. Can anyone advise me?