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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

should i be worried?

138 replies

nappyaddict · 04/10/2007 22:08

i spoke to dp at lunch time and he said he would text me or speak to me on msn when he got in from work.

we always see eachother everynight unless something major has happened like the other week his car got broken into so i didn't see him after we'd made plans.

we didn't make definite plans but i assumed we would talk about what we were going to do when i spoke to him at 5.

anyway i haven't heard from him since. i have sent 3 text messages and rang 3 or 4 times.

at first i thought he might have lost his phone, but then surely he'd try and contact me through msn or facebook.

then i thought maybe he's had to work late. last week they had a power cut so they are behind and maybe they want to be on top of things before the end of the week and he doesn't want to have to work late tomorrow. but then i thought surely he would have got in touch to let me know.

so now i'm going out of my mind worrying what is going on. ok so maybe he's just fallen asleep but for almost 4 hours? and why wouldn't you set an alarm if you knew you were meant to see your gf or at least get in touch to say you were going to have a sleep first.

maybe i have high expectations?

OP posts:

coleyboy · 04/10/2007 22:13

You don't have high expectations.

If he is still at work, is there a colleauge of his that you can contact him via?

Original poster

nappyaddict · 04/10/2007 22:15

no. if he's at work he will be with his dad but i wouldn't know how to contact him. and if he was at work its not during office hours so surely he would have his phone with him? i suppose he could have left his phone in the car or at home or something.

OP posts:

Original poster

nappyaddict · 04/10/2007 22:21

no bother. he's been asleep cos he's got man flu. and is now not seeing me tonight. even though i saw him when i was poorly. oh well. btw i know i sound immature!

OP posts:

berrybliss · 04/10/2007 22:23

I wouldn't worry too much.. My DP forgot to text or call once when he was away i got really worried, but it was just that he was really busy. I gave him an earful the next morning and its never happened again!!

berrybliss · 04/10/2007 22:24

x post
glad its sorted! we all need to moan now and then were women after all!

Tottie32 · 04/10/2007 22:24

men think differently to us

you are not immature

Original poster

nappyaddict · 04/10/2007 22:28

i just feel let down. i know he's ill and i'm being unreasonable but i just wanna see him!! it's something i look forward to all day and i just think he could have informed me that he wasn't gona come tonight rather than me sit here waiting to hear from him like a fool.

OP posts:

berrybliss · 04/10/2007 22:33

LOL thats men for you! They just don't THINK! I'm sure he'll feel bad though if you make it obvious when he's a bit better, how much you were looking forward to his company and felt a little let down that he didn't contact you! That you worry because you care etc. I'm sure next time he'll be more aware and make the effort to get in touch with you.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 04/10/2007 22:44

oh i'm so stupid. why am i crying? its pathetic.

OP posts:

ItsGrimUpNorth · 04/10/2007 22:45

Yes but that's also women for you. Why don't we make other plans regardless of what of DPs might have wanted in their minds but haven't yet vocalised.

Stop hanging around waiting for a call. Go out. Enjoy yourself and keep your independence. You sound very clingy to me. it would drive me mad.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 04/10/2007 22:53

that's what i want to do... go out and have fun without him but i can't.

i suppose i am clingy in some ways but not in others. he said the thing he loved about me was the fact that i didn't care if he didn't text me or ring me for ages. and i don't normally. only when he's told me he will cos then i get worried.

i am really dependant on him. more than he probably realises. i look forward to seeing him all day so then when he doesn't bother to tell me i won't be its a bit of a drop to find out at the very last minute. if i'm told slightly in advance then no problem i have time to get over it.

i think before i met him i was in denial of how unhappy i was. then he made me realise how happy i could be and i'm petrified i will lose him. although i don't suppose behaving like this is helping matters.

i would do anything for him. it's ironic that before it used to feel like he loved me way more than i loved him.

OP posts:

Original poster

nappyaddict · 04/10/2007 23:14

wow now i've got all that out i feel much better and mighty silly!! why is it we cry over stupid things then in 5 minutes laugh at ourselves over it?

OP posts:

Original poster

nappyaddict · 07/10/2007 21:04

argh he's only gone and done it again!! and this time i actually said am i going to see you later. he said i'm going to the pub in the afternoon but i'll see you after that. arghhhhhhhh. men!!

OP posts:

LoveMyGirls · 07/10/2007 21:12

Ahh NA, i can remember the days i used to feel let down by men too it's so hard.

Infact was just laughing the other day with a friend about a time I went mad at my 2 best friends because we arranged to go swimming then they went out and got drunk so they had a hangover, I didn't because i was 18 and had dd1 who was only 2, I'd arrnaged for my dad to have dd so i could go swimming and actually swim (was quite over weight at the time) then because we didn't go I was really upset, my friend said the other day (now shes a mum) that she just hadn't realised how it felt to make plans and rely on them and how much organising it takes to do stuff on your own...........now she gets it and why I was so mad that day (wouldn't bother me now)

LoveMyGirls · 07/10/2007 21:12

(No i must have been 19 sorry)

Original poster

nappyaddict · 07/10/2007 21:13

i wouldn't mind if he'd actually let me know to say we weren't going to see one another. it's the just not hearing from him that bothers me. had he told me i could have gone out with my friends to whom i said i couldnt go out with because i had already arranged to see dp.

OP posts:

LoveMyGirls · 07/10/2007 21:14

Now that really would annoy me..........

LoveMyGirls · 07/10/2007 21:14

Can you not meet up with them now or is it too late?

Original poster

nappyaddict · 07/10/2007 21:16

too late. it was to go out for a meal. i couldn't have anyway cos i have no babysitter but that's not the point.

OP posts:

Original poster

nappyaddict · 09/10/2007 01:32

well apparently he went to sleep cos he was tired. i didn't even get an apology for him not letting me know he wouldn't be coming.

and i haven't heard from him all day despite me texting him to say was he ignoring me cos he didn't want this anymore.

seems like he's losing interest

OP posts:

pneumalifenewname · 09/10/2007 01:36

Oh gosh! I remember this thread now and thinking how like you I am. Bummer for you - he's being crap whatever.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 09/10/2007 07:57

i shall take that as a compliment cos i think you're pretty amazing!!

OP posts:

ChipButty · 09/10/2007 08:06

Try not to contact him today. I don't want to hurt your feelings but you need to step back a bit and let him come to you. Good luck.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 09/10/2007 08:11

his phone is still switched off today. it's very unusual. i really just wish he'd tell me if he doesn't want to talk to me. i'm sat here worrying that something terrible has happened to him when he probably is just trying to get rid of me.

OP posts:

BecauseImWereWolfit · 09/10/2007 08:24

Sorry NA but it sounds like you're way too clingy and he's starting to be frightened off.

Don't phone or text him at all - let him do the running. 'Treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen'!

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