Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

should i be worried?

138 replies

nappyaddict · 04/10/2007 22:08

i spoke to dp at lunch time and he said he would text me or speak to me on msn when he got in from work.

we always see eachother everynight unless something major has happened like the other week his car got broken into so i didn't see him after we'd made plans.

we didn't make definite plans but i assumed we would talk about what we were going to do when i spoke to him at 5.

anyway i haven't heard from him since. i have sent 3 text messages and rang 3 or 4 times.

at first i thought he might have lost his phone, but then surely he'd try and contact me through msn or facebook.

then i thought maybe he's had to work late. last week they had a power cut so they are behind and maybe they want to be on top of things before the end of the week and he doesn't want to have to work late tomorrow. but then i thought surely he would have got in touch to let me know.

so now i'm going out of my mind worrying what is going on. ok so maybe he's just fallen asleep but for almost 4 hours? and why wouldn't you set an alarm if you knew you were meant to see your gf or at least get in touch to say you were going to have a sleep first.

maybe i have high expectations?

OP posts:

VeniVidiVickiQV · 09/10/2007 17:13

Good, dont contact him.

When he contacts you, postpone him.

In the meantime......start scouting in a lighthearted fashion.....

Original poster

nappyaddict · 09/10/2007 17:16

the first 2 i think i can do. the last one may take a bit more time.

OP posts:

VeniVidiVickiQV · 09/10/2007 17:19

Well that's fair enough.

When I was very much younger and had split with my first 'long-term' boyfriend, I made a decision that I wouldnt look for another man and would enjoy singledom.

And, wouldnt you just know 2 weeks later I met DP

I was disappointed.....at first. I was having sooooo much fun

warthog · 09/10/2007 22:26

na, you are GORGEOUS! this guy is an idiot.

but DON'T phone him again. the rarer something is, the more you value it. strange law of love economics.

as turquoise said, put him off for a week or two. i think it's your best chance of keeping him. makes him think that you're in demand, and therefore more desirable.

warthog · 09/10/2007 22:26

and i'm cringing at 'love economics'. can't believe i wrote that!

Original poster

nappyaddict · 09/10/2007 22:32

he hasn't been in touch and i haven't either. [proud]

OP posts:

VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/10/2007 10:20

at warthog

Well done nappies. Dont let him sap your energy. Save it for someone who deserves it

Original poster

nappyaddict · 10/10/2007 11:21

i'm feeling much happier today. hardly given him a second thought. although i do think it's probably because i have conned myself into thinking he isn't really going to finish it.

OP posts:

VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/10/2007 14:20

Ah just put it down to experience and move on. If he doesnt finish it - you should. He's behaved like a cock and you dont need that. Start as you mean to go on and all that.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 10/10/2007 16:46

i've decided it's more than likely he will. a) because otherwise he'd have wanted to see me sooner, b) because he would have said we have things we need to talk about as opposed to i don't know if want this relationship

c) argh i need to stop over analysing things.

OP posts:

LoveMyGirls · 10/10/2007 17:22

I think if you finish it you will get much much more satisfaction than if you wait for him to.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 10/10/2007 23:43

well i postponed him at the last minute. told him i was too tired after work and i'd see him tomorrow. then when he agreed said oh sorry i forgot i'm meant to be going out tomorrow night and i won't be back til fri morning. then tomorrow afternoon i'm gonna text him and be like oh my mum can't have ds fri morning anymore so i'm not going so i can see you if you want.

OP posts:

LoveMyGirls · 11/10/2007 07:59

Good for you!!!

Original poster

nappyaddict · 11/10/2007 08:17

tee hee you've all created a monster

OP posts:

LoveMyGirls · 11/10/2007 08:21

He wont mess you about again if you don't let him! Men behave likes twats because women are willing to allow it imo. Of course no-one can be perfect the whole time, we all have ourt faultsbut inthis case he was being very immature and selfish and needs a good kick up the arse if he is going t keep a lady of your kaliber (sp?) and don't you let him forget it, if he doesn't see this then it's his loss and you move on to someone who does want you exactly the way you are!!

Original poster

nappyaddict · 11/10/2007 08:58

i thought that. i told him tues nite i couldn't see him wed nite cos i was working til late. his reply was don't worry i can't see you until 10 anyway. it was like i'd tried to call the shots by saying i couldn't see him and then he turned out it around to make it seem like he was calling the shots. i know it wasn't intentional of him but that's what it felt like to me. to me it if i'd agreed it would have looked like oh ok i'll see you at 10 cos that's when you've said you're free. i'd tried to make it on my terms and when he came back with that it made it back on his terms imo. ok i'm just blithering on now aren't are so i hope yswim?!!

OP posts:

Original poster

nappyaddict · 11/10/2007 08:59

although i was a bit concerned cos imo if he was that desperate to let me know he didn't want to finish things he wouldn't have been able to wait another day.

OP posts:

BandofMutantMonsters · 11/10/2007 09:05

Are you both trying to play the same game then??

I wouldn't be surprised if he is trying to play it cool and one up you. Sounds like it, but of course you know him and I don't.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 11/10/2007 09:12

so you think cos i blew him off he's trying to play it cool even though he's clearly been playing it very cool all week and really doesn't need to anymore?

OP posts:

BandofMutantMonsters · 11/10/2007 09:14

He might realise you are playing his game and he is upping the pace???

Original poster

nappyaddict · 11/10/2007 09:16

argh i hate game playing!! it's too bloody confusing.

OP posts:

Turquoise · 11/10/2007 09:55

Don't tell him you're not going out after all tonight and suddenly be available! Make him think you're off somewhere without him.
You tell him when you're free - if he can't make it, just act unconcerned. Believe me, if he's losing interest, the only way to regain it is to be as unavailable as possible. Make him chase you - men are hunters.

Game playing is crap, but unfortunately some men (boys) need it.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 11/10/2007 12:13

he can make it tonight though but i can't do tomorrow and part of me thinks we should just get this over and done with so i can enjoy my weekend.

OP posts:

SpookyDooooo · 11/10/2007 12:17

I would not see him, i would say you can't make tonight then go off & have a fab weekend, catch up early next week, make him realise you don't need him & you will go off & have fun without him.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 11/10/2007 12:21

i may do. this time yesterday i didn't think i would be able to postpone it til today and i did so who knows how i'll feel later on. i guess im just a bit scared he will realise he doesn't need me if i leave it too long.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6