Prostitutes

[allgoodinthehood]

Can I please have an honest opinion on what you really think of people who use prostitution.
I was talking to a friend about it and we had completely different ideas on this subject.
ie a man using a prostitute when he was in a relationship and was away on holiday.

I don’t pity you. Sorry if it came across that way!

@RaveOm

I don’t pity you. Sorry if it came across that way!

Oh sorry I didn’t mean it as an insult to you, I would probably say the same thing to someone but all I meant was that i hadn’t been abused as a kid, or had any drug issues before I got into prostitution but I ended up with a heroin issue which I think I used to cope with the fact all these strange men were paying to have sex with me, and other women in that job would criticise and call us drug users ‘junkies’ which is harsh and awful, just because they didn’t need to use drugs to cope with the job didn’t mean that we were all strong enough to cope with it, they had no soul in the end and most long term sex workers that I know aren’t very nice or sympathetic people, the job has ruined them. I noticed how much of a bitch I was turning into working in the sauna and how I’ve reverted back to my usual self, well most of me, since I quit those places, the majority of the women were all bitchy to each other, criticising one another’s bodies and sexual performances, some of them were worse than the men!

The Holbeck Managed Zone is a stain on the city

@StamfordHill

I didn’t have to be a hooker, I could’ve gotten a normal job with crappy wages but I guess greed overtook me once I seen the money I could earn, I made £480 the very first shift I worked and it was only an 8 hour shift! Of course money is such a pull and we will always need it.

And this is exactly my point. What you did was 100% consensual. And anyone who used your service did so with your full consent.

Most consensual jobs don't give you heroin issues and change your personality.

And it doesn't much matter if one sex worker does it consensually. The fact that many (most in my extensive experience) don't, plus add in childhood abuse, addiction and self esteem issues...

If there was a bowl of crisps in front of you and one in five of them was OK but the rest were covered on shit, you'd eat them? No? That's punters. They don't ask, they don't care.

It always interests me that on thirty years I've met hundreds of sex workers, from street level to a woman who owned her own dungeon. Pretty much all of them had been abused in some way in childhood, most had addictions, lots were coerced. Yet all these men manage to convince themselves that they bought the one who just LOVES sex so much that she doesn't care who she has or with.

I maybe see five men in a day that I'd consider attractive. Out of hundreds. And I'm willing to bet these are not the ones frequenting brothels unless they have some very specific wants. Sex workers are sleeping with the 90% unattractive. But again, they just LOVE sex so much...

Obviously I'm only talking about prostitutes who choose to do the job, not those who are coerced.

And if a punter could tell, I'd begin to understand the mentality.

I judge it. I think men who buy women are truly disgusting and it says all you need to know about them and they're attitude towards women. I don't feel the same animosity towards the women being bought.

@MsWonderful

I haven’t had sex for 3 years but I don’t think that entitles me to take advantage of someone vulnerable tbh. Not sure why some men feel this is ok??

This with bells on

Well this is so very true! At the most jobs we hate can cause us to be stressed but we handle it, prostitution in a sauna with pimps not caring one iota about you, is what made me angry and stressed every day of the damn week.

My grandfather has turned out to have sexually abused 3 of my little cousins and he used to babysit me quite a few times when I was young, and I did think from an early age that sex was a dirty thing and I never got that from my mother or father so I got it somewhere, I’ve often thought I was abused and I’ve blocked it out, most of the women I worked with said they had been abused sexually as kids and I did think to myself that surely I must have been...but do I really want to know?

There are many things I’ve learnt to grit my teeth to in life but prostitutes in partnered up men is a total and utter deal breaker

@MrsTerryPratchett

Obviously I'm only talking about prostitutes who choose to do the job, not those who are coerced.

And if a punter could tell, I'd begin to understand the mentality.

If you have ever had the unfortunate experience of reading UK Punting then you will see that some of them know exactly the girls that are forced into it in the UK (mainly Eastern European’s) and they don’t give a shit, I’ve said to 1 guy, after he told me in the past that they think they have been with forced women, “did you make an anonymous call after your service and say that you felt someone was being forced into sex work against their will/die you just pay her and just talk since you knew full well she wasn’t wanting to do it/did you realise and walk out of the place” and he looked sheepish and said no to all questions and I said very angrily “well that says a lot about you as a human being and none of it good”, it made him wonderfully ashamed and awkward the whole time he was with me and I loved that I did that to the bastard.

I see it as rape, you can't buy consent.

I live in Doain. Apparently 1 in 3 Spanish men has used a prostitute. That works out statistically as 11 of the dads of kids in DS' class. It makes me feel sick wondering who.

In the south of Spain where I holiday, on the road you see them waiting for business under sun shades on plastic chairs. It makes me sad.

Absolutely would judge any punter as a misogynist. The being-in-a-relationship just means he is also a cheat, but I think the rape is worse than the infidelity.

@QuentinInQuarantino

I see it as rape, you can't buy consent.

I live in Doain. Apparently 1 in 3 Spanish men has used a prostitute. That works out statistically as 11 of the dads of kids in DS' class. It makes me feel sick wondering who.

In the south of Spain where I holiday, on the road you see them waiting for business under sun shades on plastic chairs. It makes me sad.

Absolutely would judge any punter as a misogynist. The being-in-a-relationship just means he is also a cheat, but I think the rape is worse than the infidelity.

I totally get what your saying but part of me thinks, and knows that the girls need the men to pay them for sex otherwise they wouldn’t be there in the first place, but only a drug addiction could make you so desperate to risk your life by getting in a strangers car, at least in a sauna you have others around you so if a client gets rough you can shout out and be safe, and I would imagine that punters take girls in cars somewhere very secluded which is a very scary thought should anything go wrong.

Also to the poster that said most men that pay probs have 90% unattractive men, well that’s not true, I would say most were not so much unattractive but too old for me and average looking, you got the odd gorgeous looking guy and most of us loathed those ones as you had that “why are paying for sex” type thing in your mind, must have social issues or just doesn’t want to be in a relationship, if they aren’t already.

'The state of the women is absolute rock bottom.
How any bloke can get their rocks off with girls who have to smoke a rock prior to having sex is beyond me.'

It's part of the appeal though isn't it, for some men. Het porn these days seems to really focus on male sexual dominance, and degredation of women. Knowing that the woman will do pretty much anything you ask because she is desperate is in line with that.

Why do men in relationships pay for sex?

Same as above. Because a partner it's mutual. Paying is one sided. He gets what he wants, when he wants it. Which most people don't in relationships, because of give and take, family life, jobs etc.

FWIW I've been offered money for sex twice, when I was young (16-18).

Just by random men. Don't ask don't get is what they think I suppose.

Anyway I think if I had been in certain states of mind it would have been very easy to say yes.

My friend did when she was 16. For some weed. She had a terrible home life.

It's all very there for the grace of God for me.

I think men and women have a very different idea about this because of different senses of entitlement and the different inherent dangers tbh.

Most men, even nice ones, have real trouble understanding the different dynamics.

Or they don't really want to, more likely.

Tacky tacky tacky.

Slimeball meets slimeball.

I know who one slimeball is, who is the other?

@NiceGerbil

'The state of the women is absolute rock bottom. How any bloke can get their rocks off with girls who have to smoke a rock prior to having sex is beyond me.'

It's part of the appeal though isn't it, for some men. Het porn these days seems to really focus on male sexual dominance, and degredation of women. Knowing that the woman will do pretty much anything you ask because she is desperate is in line with that.

God that's horrible but also very believable

If you have ever had the unfortunate experience of reading UK Punting

Well @Inappropriatefemale I have had the dreadful experience of reading the Bad Date File, written by sex workers for sex workers outlining the rapes, robberies, kidnapping, thefts they encounter to warn others. Number plates, descriptions, all different. It's not one man assaulting multiple women. It's many many men.

I challenge anyone to read that and not hate prostitution.

@MrsTerryPratchett

If you have ever had the unfortunate experience of reading UK Punting

Well @Inappropriatefemale I have had the dreadful experience of reading the Bad Date File, written by sex workers for sex workers outlining the rapes, robberies, kidnapping, thefts they encounter to warn others. Number plates, descriptions, all different. It's not one man assaulting multiple women. It's many many men.

I challenge anyone to read that and not hate prostitution.

I take it this is like SAAFE but for street workers?

@ramakinsmarties

sex workers do not want to be sex workers

Nope. Some women do enjoy the job. The love sex and they are happy to be paid for it.

Look at the men you say around you every day.

The ones on the bus, walking down the street, in the pub etc.

Now ask yourself: How many of these would you 'love' to have sex with? Even supposing you 'loved sex' in general?

I take it this is like SAAFE but for street workers?

Yes. And specific to where I worked. It was an actual printed sheet at one point so workers without internet could take one.