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Original poster

Is your DH enough?

63 replies

Offshoreliving · 19/08/2020 22:52

Answer me honestly, if you couldn't have kids, would you DH be enough? For this virus, being locked away, for future holidays, retirement, is your life enough? How do you reconcile that that's it for you?

OP posts:
seensome · 19/08/2020 23:09

Depends if it was a difference in choice or because it wasn't possible, if it was a lifestyle choice then I wouldn't be with someone who didn't want the same. If I couldn't have them then I would hope my partner would of stuck by me and look for an alternative to bio children but ultimately would want them somehow.

I always wanted children and I'm lucky to have had them although I didn't stay married. I'm now in a relationship with a man who doesn't want them, although I'm a bit sad I won't get to experience having children with him, I already have them and will experience a different way of life with him.

itustiime · 19/08/2020 23:13

Of course - I wouldn't have married or had children with a man that wasn't (kids leave eventually)

WinterAndRoughWeather · 19/08/2020 23:15

I don’t have or want kids, I’m not sure what that bit is about.

I hope my husband is enough, it feels like he is. I can’t predict the future though.

Icanflyhigh · 19/08/2020 23:16

Yes.

CornedBeef451 · 19/08/2020 23:34

No

Pinkchocolate · 19/08/2020 23:38

Yes. I adore my children but I also adore my husband.

Bwlch · 19/08/2020 23:41

Yes. I haven't got any children.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 19/08/2020 23:42

If we didn't have kids, I wouldn't still be with him now. So no.

GooodMythicalMorning · 19/08/2020 23:42

yes. He would. He was enough before kids and he'll be enough when they've flown the nest.

Valkadin · 19/08/2020 23:45

He is enough, I have always worried a bit about retirement as I like to mooch about alone quite a bit. In lockdown he has WFH throughout and I’m going to miss him when he goes back.

hotsouple · 20/08/2020 00:30

I don't want kids and just foster very strong relationship with nuclear and extended family members and try to get to a place where I am enough for myself. I have a partner as well but that isn't the only close family tie besides children.

Nyclair · 20/08/2020 01:39

Yes

SoulofanAggron · 20/08/2020 01:46

I don't have children or a partner. Not looking either. I'm quite happy with my life. Smile

If your partner dissatisfies you, I can highly recommend not having one. Smile

Ginkypig · 20/08/2020 14:01

I wouldn't have children with anyone who wasn't enough.

I wouldn't build a relationship and definitely not a life with someone who wasn't enough.

Life is just way too short to waste it on crap wether that be a relationship or anything else.
I'd rather be skint and alone than be in a shitty job (the work isn't important but how I'm treated in the job is) and a shitty relationship. Or shitty friendships.

motherofdxughters · 20/08/2020 14:03

Yes. My husband is my favourite person on this planet bar my children. He is an incredible human and we have a lot of fun together, children or no children. I married him knowing our children would be off living their own lives some day and that we'd be alone.

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/08/2020 14:03

Yes.

But do you mean couldn’t as in you both desperately wanted them and one or both had fertility issues which meant it wasn’t possible, or that you wanted them and he didn’t?

year5teacher · 20/08/2020 14:06

I don’t have children and I think I want them so I would be very sad if I couldn’t have them.
But if I couldn’t, then yes. My DP would still be the person I wanted to be with all the time.

Shoxfordian · 20/08/2020 14:07

I don't even want kids but I love being married and I love my husband

awesomeaircraft · 20/08/2020 14:09

Yes and no. He would be enough as a partner but I would still have hobbies, projects, causes, just like now but with more time/money I guess.

ladybee28 · 20/08/2020 14:09

No. I love him to pieces and I feel very lucky to get to share my life with him, but don't put that level of pressure on him.

I get my 'enough' from a combination of DP, my work, learning, my friends, being in nature, exercise, helping out in my community....

I'd hate it if he looked at me as the source of his happiness, too.

DillonPanthersTexas · 20/08/2020 14:10

I hope I am enough!

We don't have kids (four failed IVF cycles), that door closed and several others opened. We both work full time in decent paying jobs, we are sporty and active, lots of travel and she is my best mate. Very occasionally there is a pang of sadness that the kids route in life did not work out but I would not swap her for the world.

JoJoSM2 · 20/08/2020 14:11

Not sure how to understand the question?

My husband is fantastic and I’d want to spend the rest of my life with him and even if we couldn’t have children.

However, I did know that I would want a family one day. If he’d said he didn’t want children when we started dating, the relationship wouldn’t have progressed.

TeetotalKoala · 20/08/2020 14:14

Yes. We were together for 11 years pre-children and are planning our retirement for when they leave home. They don't define us or our relationship.

We wanted children, and we were fortunate enough to have them when we were ready. But had we not, we love and adore each other, and we would have figured out a new path for us, together.

vixfromthestix · 20/08/2020 14:19

Yes. We would have loved to have had kids, but it's not going to happen for us. Instead we have spoken about our future plans and what life will bring just the two of us and we are moving forward with that.

RoseTintedAtuin · 20/08/2020 14:22

Yes