Would you date a teacher?

[Claire926]

I have met a nice man who is starting a PGCE in September. I do not have a problem with teachers as I know some people believe they have a reputation. What my concerns are if I was to get in a relationship with him would he have time for a relationship? He would be working full time at school plus doing assignments. Also, would he always be working long hours with planning and marking etc after he graduates? I have heard it a stressful job and don't know if I could be with someone who has no time or the job ends up affecting their physical and mental health.

@Ragwort

What is your job OP?

I've never even considered someone's job when I was dating, unless they were an executioner on something . Most people I know work long hours, lots of travelling etc. Before Covid my DH never spent a full week at home, he was often away staying in hotels etc, (not luxury - Travelodge or similar ). He's working now on a Zoom call. Even my own job, barely more than minimum wage involves working weekends, anti-social hours etc etc. Do many people really have a cushy 9-5 job anymore?

I would always be more attracted to someone who was passionate about their job rather than a 'jobs worth' type.

I am full time student at the moment retraining as I used to be a housing officer which was 50 hours a week and left me burnt out.

It is a hard as I want to meet someone who is passionate and hardworking but not to the point where you are like passing ships in the night.

When I first met my (now) DH we lived miles apart and only saw each other every third weekend, he was often working abroad) - and it was years before mobile phones & 'instant' communication... I still have the air mail letters he wrote me. . 'Passing ships in the night' can actually work quite well ....

If you have any view to it potentially becoming serious, marriage... children... yada yada, then surely there is one definite advantage to a teacher? That is, you always have at least one parent available to look after children in school holidays, without having to take time off work or pay for childcare.

The reputation ive heard is that teachers like to drink a lot and there are lot of affairs

It’s nowhere near that exciting @wizzywig We’re all too bloody tired!

None of the traits described on this thread are unique to teaching. Every single one can be found in other professions and professionals. No need to regard teachers as undateables.

Though it might be an opportunity for Channel 4 for a special series: The Undateables - Teachers

I went out with a teacher for a while - he was a head of year or something. The relationship didn't work out but it was nothing to do with his job.

@wizzywig

The reputation ive heard is that teachers like to drink a lot and there are lot of affairs

Haha. Not in my experience.

Yes, depends on the teacher of course. Two of my grandparents were teachers, so I'm glad they did.

It's such a bizarre question.
I'm a university academic and probably put in more hours than most teachers and don't have the holidays - does that make me completely undateable?

CherryValanc
You're right. A lot is linked to an individual's outlook and the way they balance their work and private life. That's an issue for most people with a demanding job.

The sad thing is that so many schools are unreasonable in their expectations and / or are quite unpleasant environments that it can grind down even the most positive person who loves teaching and take over their life.

Sadly so true @LolaSmiles

I know a Primary teacher who would get messages from school at 10.30 on a Sunday night from the Head, who micromanaged everything, saying that the topic or the targets for the week had changed. She started turning her phone off but ended up going sick with stress and never going back. There were very few teachers who stayed more than a year. Fortunately Karma, in the form of Ofsted, came and bit that Head teacher in the bum and she, literally, disappeared. Extreme maybe but true.

Lol at the 'reputation' -I am a teacher and would love to know what it is.
During my pHCE the term times were full on but hols gone -went skiing Feb half term and Easter so not too onerous.
The hours are what you make them/if you are efficient and well organised is perfectly acceptable workload, much less that when I worked in business.

I think we're getting a big difference between primary and secondary here.