Would you date a teacher?

[Claire926]

I have met a nice man who is starting a PGCE in September. I do not have a problem with teachers as I know some people believe they have a reputation. What my concerns are if I was to get in a relationship with him would he have time for a relationship? He would be working full time at school plus doing assignments. Also, would he always be working long hours with planning and marking etc after he graduates? I have heard it a stressful job and don't know if I could be with someone who has no time or the job ends up affecting their physical and mental health.

[CaptainMyCaptain]

I think we're getting a big difference between primary and secondary here.

[lifeafter50]

Lol at the 'reputation' -I am a teacher and would love to know what it is.
During my pHCE the term times were full on but hols gone -went skiing Feb half term and Easter so not too onerous.
The hours are what you make them/if you are efficient and well organised is perfectly acceptable workload, much less that when I worked in business.

[CaptainMyCaptain]

Sadly so true @LolaSmiles

I know a Primary teacher who would get messages from school at 10.30 on a Sunday night from the Head, who micromanaged everything, saying that the topic or the targets for the week had changed. She started turning her phone off but ended up going sick with stress and never going back. There were very few teachers who stayed more than a year. Fortunately Karma, in the form of Ofsted, came and bit that Head teacher in the bum and she, literally, disappeared. Extreme maybe but true.

[LolaSmiles]

CherryValanc
You're right. A lot is linked to an individual's outlook and the way they balance their work and private life. That's an issue for most people with a demanding job.

The sad thing is that so many schools are unreasonable in their expectations and / or are quite unpleasant environments that it can grind down even the most positive person who loves teaching and take over their life.

[SueEllenMishke]

It's such a bizarre question.
I'm a university academic and probably put in more hours than most teachers and don't have the holidays - does that make me completely undateable?

[elstree2020]

Yes, depends on the teacher of course. Two of my grandparents were teachers, so I'm glad they did.

[CaptainMyCaptain]

@wizzywig

The reputation ive heard is that teachers like to drink a lot and there are lot of affairs

Haha. Not in my experience.

[Pelleas]

I went out with a teacher for a while - he was a head of year or something. The relationship didn't work out but it was nothing to do with his job.

[CherryValanc]

None of the traits described on this thread are unique to teaching. Every single one can be found in other professions and professionals. No need to regard teachers as undateables.

Though it might be an opportunity for Channel 4 for a special series: The Undateables - Teachers

[VashtaNerada]

It’s nowhere near that exciting @wizzywig We’re all too bloody tired!

[wizzywig]

The reputation ive heard is that teachers like to drink a lot and there are lot of affairs

[FifteenToes]

If you have any view to it potentially becoming serious, marriage... children... yada yada, then surely there is one definite advantage to a teacher? That is, you always have at least one parent available to look after children in school holidays, without having to take time off work or pay for childcare.

[Ragwort]

When I first met my (now) DH we lived miles apart and only saw each other every third weekend, he was often working abroad) - and it was years before mobile phones & 'instant' communication... I still have the air mail letters he wrote me. . 'Passing ships in the night' can actually work quite well ....

[Claire926]

@Ragwort

What is your job OP?

I've never even considered someone's job when I was dating, unless they were an executioner on something . Most people I know work long hours, lots of travelling etc. Before Covid my DH never spent a full week at home, he was often away staying in hotels etc, (not luxury - Travelodge or similar ). He's working now on a Zoom call. Even my own job, barely more than minimum wage involves working weekends, anti-social hours etc etc. Do many people really have a cushy 9-5 job anymore?

I would always be more attracted to someone who was passionate about their job rather than a 'jobs worth' type.

I am full time student at the moment retraining as I used to be a housing officer which was 50 hours a week and left me burnt out.

It is a hard as I want to meet someone who is passionate and hardworking but not to the point where you are like passing ships in the night.

[Claire926]

@Frlrlrubert

What does he do at the moment? Is he re-training or straight off his degree?

Is he generally an organised person? Organisation will save you stress massively in the PGCE year.

I retrained as a science teacher three years ago, with a 1 year old DD, PGCE and NQT were tough, the first because my knowledge was rusty so planning took even longer (I'm actually just brushing up my Physics for September, as I'm teaching a module I've so far avoided which has stuff in it I've never actually studied myself!) and the second because I struggled with behaviour management.

If he's up to date with his knowledge (or young enough to still learn fast) and organised it should be fine.

Like a pp said, science marking is tick and flick. Occasionally you get a week where you have loads of tests to mark, but once you're up to speed it's not as bad as most other subjects.

He is in his 40s and was in a high profile management job and then decided to become a teacher. He missed last year's deadline so we end up meeting on a course he decided to fill his year with.

The course was to do with education and it was supposed to be the equivalent to doing GCSE's part time. The course was quite stressful for most of us as it ended up being full time doing assignments, including placement whilst we had other commitments. He even thought about dropping out in February but then was able to catch up as we could finish the course off at home during the pandemic.

Which makes me wonder how he will do a full time PGCE, assignments, placement and I know he has a lot of other commitments.

[Claire926]

@Russell19

OP if he was working for an agency teaching as an unqualified teacher that may be why he recieved some cold responses. A lot of teachers are concerned about the rise in 'unqualified teachers' taking jobs and aside from that morally oppose it. I may be completely wrong here in my assumptions but just a thought.

I think you are right. I do feel for him as he is very passion and he has a degree and masters degree in one of the sciences so he is very knowledgeable. Though I do understand the teachers concerns if he has been trained properly to deliver lessons and manage behaviour etc.

[GinWithRosie]

@VashtaNerada yes that pissed me off too! I was a lawyer before retraining to be a teacher 🤷‍♀️ I’m pretty sure I’m not ‘immature’ by anyone’s standards 🤬 Which is also how I know that other people also have jobs that are hard work, long hours and pretty stressful. Like I said, it’s not a race to the bottom, and who’s to say that the OP will meet anyone with a nice comfortable 9-5 job anyway 🤷‍♀️

[youwereagoodcakeclyde]

• I'd not date someone who spoke to me like that!

[youwereagoodcakeclyde]

I admit if I meet a teacher (in a totally non school /educational setting) occasionally I can tell or have a suspicion (usually secondary school teachers). It's the way some teachers speak - I can't describe it exactly but maybe a bit too loudly, and as if I am a bit simple, not really wanting a reply.

[youwereagoodcakeclyde]

I'd date a teacher!

The work hours I would NEVER have considered a problem.
Work hours I would consider a problem:
Long distance lorry driver or a pilot - away for few days at a time
Army /off shore oil/ shipping - away for months

The mental health aspect I would also NEVER considered as a problem.
So many other jobs higher up on suicide scale!
He might cope with the stress fine.
He could change job if he does get ground down by it.
The stress might be the right type and spur him onto a doing a great job and get great satisfaction from it.

[Ragwort]

What is your job OP?

I've never even considered someone's job when I was dating, unless they were an executioner on something . Most people I know work long hours, lots of travelling etc. Before Covid my DH never spent a full week at home, he was often away staying in hotels etc, (not luxury - Travelodge or similar ). He's working now on a Zoom call. Even my own job, barely more than minimum wage involves working weekends, anti-social hours etc etc. Do many people really have a cushy 9-5 job anymore?

I would always be more attracted to someone who was passionate about their job rather than a 'jobs worth' type.

[VashtaNerada]

It really depends on the school. Mine is pretty good with its expectations on staff and I was encouraged to transfer my DC when I started working there which means I don’t have any childcare nightmares. Many schools are not that decent though!
Slightly annoyed at the assumptions of some PP that teachers immediately go into teaching from school when many of us have careers under our belts and chose to re-train. I’ve also met some incredibly talented, professional teachers who are decades younger than me so age / experience doesn’t necessarily have a bearing on ability anyway.

[CaptainMyCaptain]

My husband works in the NHS and works 12 hour shifts including weekends but they are in a set pattern. He can negotiate his annual leave but it was tricky getting time off in school holidays when I was teaching. The hours I worked at home infuriated him and he always said he'd rather have his annual leave arrangement than have to take holidays at the most expensive time. He was glad when I retired.

[Purpleartichoke]

If you think that a teacher is going to have a career that is simply too demanding as a partner, I wonder who you have been dating. Nothing wrong with dating someone who just has a job they work set hours and then are done, but it’s definitely only a subset of the population.

[CocoBryceDidAcidWithMe]

I have only slept with teachers