Online dating red flags

[BilboBercow]

I feel like this may have been done but I feel so jaded by online dating at the moment and I'm constantly seeing red flags to the point that I'm wondering if it's just me? Would you see the below list as a no-no?
No picture of themselves (obviously)
"Not sure what I'm looking for but I'll know when I find it" - I'll string you along then say I didn't promise you anything
"Are there any normal women out there?"
"Not into vanilla" - can't ejaculate unless I'm hurting you
"I don't like women who wear lots of makeup" - I'm controlling
"Need someone to keep me on my toes" - will treat you like shit and blame you for it

Feel free to add your own. Also feel free to tell me I'm being silly. My ex was abusive so sometimes I worry now that I overanalyse everything.
I also saw a guy today saying "I value loyalty so if you've had more men than hot dinners swipe left" and my initial reaction was "fuckity bye"

I met a man via an online dating site in early 2017. He's currently (snoring!) to the right of me and our ten week-old baby daughter is sleeping soundly to the left of me so it can't be all bad
I had to "kiss a few frogs" for sure and learn to figure out the not-so-obvious red flags as well as the glaringly obvious ones, but I got there in the end.

You have to hold in your head that you only need to find one, just one right one.

My OLD days were ten years ago now, but thing I remember looking out for was men wearing obviously nineties clothes, haircuts and glasses.

I did meet some very nice men who weren’t the one as such but remained friends.

And had a few appalling dates with men who came across well in writing but had impossible features such as being unable to stop talking (angrily) about exes or being determined to refer to their wealth/sexual prowess/achievements as if it were some sort of competition.

But I did meet my now husband, so it can’t have been all bad.

@Wondersense I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles, I was being flippant and didn't mean to sound smug

I have done OLD for ages and not had all this happen. Currently dating a very nice man
Can I ask nicely, what is your profile like and your photos?

Vanilla sex is defined as: "Sex that involves no twists or kinkiness, and no S&M. Basically plain regular sex."

Using the term vanilla to describe sex seems to make it sound boring, so they can fuck off as far as I am concerned.

I’m happy and proud to be vanilla! I laugh about this term with my BF as we are both completely unkinky of any shape or form but it is so far from boring and we say we maybe are vanilla with chocolate chips. I would rather people know I am vanilla and have no expectations that I will want to deviate

I dipped my toe into online dating about 9 years ago. I remember one guy on POF messaged me, I can’t remember what it said because after it there were reems of abusive messages saying how stuck up I was to not reply and I could at least give him the courtesy of a response, and he was sick of girls like me.

I had been at work and not even logged in. Glad he showed me who he was though. Psycho.

There were also a lot of “doctors” who liked to share penis stories with me.

I think I lasted 3 days on there.

I met someone who never heard of the term vanilla sex when I first met him, so I explained what it was.
He was like, “oh, vanillas the best flavour” with a puzzled expression.
Reader, I married him.

Haha yes mine wasn’t sure what vanilla meant. I have laughed so many times when he has had a puzzled expression at some of the terminology 😂

@Fairycake2

This post has truly made me 😂 and I've been nodding along to pretty much every comment.

Can't believe no-one has mentioned pictures with men holding fish though. WTF are they about?!

Or the men with lions.

What the actual fuck was that trend?

Every guy with a drugged up lion, thinking they're cool.

Sure, mate. I'm so turned on I'll be banging you into the middle of next week 🤢

Intereeting Thread

I met my wife via OLD but it took a few years of on and off trying before we crossed paths. It can be a bit of a chastising experiences and I had to take a few breaks from it to recharge my batteries a few times. Generally speaking most people I met were nice, genuine people and it was rare for a date to be a disaster despite there perhaps being no romantic connection. I guess after a while you get to fine tune your radar which helps weed out the time wasters and fruitcakes.

Profiles I avoided:

"I like the finer things in life"

Any use of professional / studio photos

No photos at all

"Hi"

Profile is a long list of must haves.

"My friends think I am crazy"

Photos of pets

Lots of spelling mistakes or text speak

Any mystical or inspirational quotes in profile.

Just black and white photos are very deceiving..... when you finally receive a colour one, it can be a shock, a very nasty shock indeed. 🤣

Menora you seem to be in the minority. I try to avoid things in my profile I don't like in others so my photos are a variety of me on nights out, either just me or me and one other. No filters.
In my "about me* I avoid things like moans, brags, lists of what I want, I crack a joke about lockdown. I do get plenty of matches, far fewer turn into conversation but I think that's normal. Maybe it's the app I'm using but others on the thread seem to share my experience.

Years ago I joined Soulmates in the days when you wrote letters to people you were interested in. One guy replied to my ad saying he wanted to dress me in a floaty Laura Ashley dress and serve me cakes. 🙄

Out of interest, is there anyone who actually likes weirdly punctuated poetry or "stream of consciousness" stuff about the stars/beach/life?

I find this more on POF that I would tinder or bumble. Never liked match or eharmony. I got a lot of matches too but had a hard line as to who I would talk to. They had to have something of any interest in their profile to get a swipe or a chat from me

@BilboBercow

I’ve had creeps for sure but block and move on. Don’t give number out to many either

Red flag for me are the ' only looking for honest women...no liars or cheaters'..like he's been so rejected by women because he's actually so fucking useless as a husband/partner that his exes have kicked his hole out...like didums😢

I know it may sound harsh but most men on these sites are porn heads and dickheads. Many of my friends have had the pleasure of ONS only to discover these men to be completely bald down below..like most of them..hmm, I wonder whatever gave them that idea🥴

How do you manage to get to see someone naked without kind of working out they will be that way inclined

I found my alcoholic ex on POF and his profile made me choke!! I have translated it for you:

Too honest for my own good = total liar
I drink a tad and swear a tad = sweary alcoholic
I'd love to live off grid and away from the greed of this world = I'm a jobless alcoholic would really prefer not to have to work
I hate the pressure of dates = can't afford to take a girl on a date

The first question I ask is: 'do you have pubic hair'? Saves alot of time.

Guys that wont video chat are usually hiding behing a fake profile..i was catfished and it was awful..reverse search amy image they send to u plse x

'Old-fashioned', 'looking for someone who needs someone to look after her'.

People who say they are doctors or special forces or ex-special forces.