Online dating red flags

[BilboBercow]

I feel like this may have been done but I feel so jaded by online dating at the moment and I'm constantly seeing red flags to the point that I'm wondering if it's just me? Would you see the below list as a no-no?
No picture of themselves (obviously)
"Not sure what I'm looking for but I'll know when I find it" - I'll string you along then say I didn't promise you anything
"Are there any normal women out there?"
"Not into vanilla" - can't ejaculate unless I'm hurting you
"I don't like women who wear lots of makeup" - I'm controlling
"Need someone to keep me on my toes" - will treat you like shit and blame you for it

Feel free to add your own. Also feel free to tell me I'm being silly. My ex was abusive so sometimes I worry now that I overanalyse everything.
I also saw a guy today saying "I value loyalty so if you've had more men than hot dinners swipe left" and my initial reaction was "fuckity bye"

[SuspicionAintTheWay]

I'm a psycho ex. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/thirty_days_only/3985817-Would-you-want-to-know-Emotional-abuse-assault

[Minikievs]

@UnaCorda

Another one: profiles where every photograph is a selfie (especially if they're all taken in the bathroom). Do you not have a single friend who can take your picture? Do you never do anything in a group?

And they're wearing the same clothes in every selfie, as they've taken all 5 photos in the same evening!

[PilatesPeach]

I am doing OLD I had a "hello" from a chap

He described himself as someone who loves Celtic FC

His interests Celtic FC

His ideal match Someone who likes Celtic FC

His ideal date Talking about Celtic FC


WTAF?

[firecracker69]

I just love Gary's profile. Hahaha. How the hell can you wear yourself like a hat? Dick!

[firecracker69]

My mate once met-up with someone who didn't smile on any of his profile pics. Imagine her surprise when he did smile and she noticed had a mouthful of black stumps, instead of gleaming white teeth?

There are many profiles where the men have faces like slapped arses.... no smile...... no teeth on show whatsoever. It's almost as if they're going for "take pity on me look." Very unattractive indeed.

[ravenmum]

Head up your arse, with your arse kind of perched on your head as if you were wearing it as a hat. Inspired imagery by Gary there.

[peppermintteadrinker]

Oh just remembered another one... The usernames where they say "back here again" or "lonely"... I mean, I empathise but just no!

[PatKelly]

There’s a guy on Pof who’s name is “lovely man” or “nice guy” or something like that... and he’s actually been in prison years back for date rape drugging a woman on a night out.
Online dating is a nightmare I think!
I tried it about 5 years ago. Met a few people as friends but nobody for a relationship I’m afraid!

[Closetbeanmuncher]

@peppermintteadrinker that's absolutely shocking - what a spineless prick 💐

Has it put you off, or just chinked the armour?

@Musicaltheatremum good on you, so there are are some great guys on there. I just don't like the idea of wading through the shit to find one.

Statistically speaking the odds aren't great 😂

[Closetbeanmuncher]

Head up your arse, with your arse kind of perched on your head as if you were wearing it as a hat. Inspired imagery by Gary there

Raven you minx 😂

[Closetbeanmuncher]

I've just seen a profile that started "daddy looking for his princess

Oh my fucking goodnight 😂😂😂

[peppermintteadrinker]

@Closetbeanmuncher it's bad but I'm soft. I know why he's done it. He just can't face up to things. I still love him and wouldn't regret ever being with him but I'm very sad it ended up this way. Thought he was my forever. I'm determined not to let it put me off.

[TossACoinToYerWitcher]

@Pers

This is a really interesting point!

I'm trying to think more generally of things I avoid when using dating apps (topless pics are a turn off for some reason)

I wonder what women write on their profiles that men see as red flags also 🤔

Well, since you asked...

Ones that put no effort in themselves, e.g. " I dunno, I'm useless at writing, talk to me first" - it's not my job to make an effort, that's yours

Ridiculous desperate-sounding assertations of confidence e.g. "I'm independant woman who knows what she wants!" - I'm actually insecure and have to shout this at you to make myself believe it! (Truly confident people don't need to be so aggressive).

Wishy-washy word salad, that sounds like its been lifted from a Hallmark card e.g. "We are all worthy of love" "Reach for your dreams" - I'm either incredibly naive about life or else I'm a flake.

Pictures of person surrounded by ludicrously hunky men (because that's going to make me feel desirable)

Profile pics with that instagram change your face into a mouse thingy

Belligerence in the first line e.g. "you better get your grammar right!" - Dating's stressful enough without someone informing me they'll be watching me like a hawk. Probably best if I pass now and save you the inevitable disappointment...

[firecracker69]

Loving the imagery. 😆😆😆😆

Photos with sunglasses on, inside the house. A huge no no! Eyes are windows to the soul.

[Fishypants]

@PatKelly

Have you reported this guy to pof?

[DianasLasso]

This dates me as having not been on OLD for a long time (in 50s now, do not want to date men 10 or more years older than me, so no point really) - but back when I last signed up for Soulmates, "No bunny boilers" was one that really wound me up. It read as "I'm a misogynist wanker" every time I saw it.

[RantyAnty]

The only tip needed is assume everything on their profile is a lie.
I've read some profiles from friends exs that make them sound normal and great, but knowing that irl they were violent whackos was chilling.

[peppermintteadrinker]

Haha @TossACoinToYerWitcher. Might have been a bit guilty of the independent woman thing in the past. I would read that as recently divorced and don't ever want to walked over again.

[Fairycake2]

This post has truly made me 😂 and I've been nodding along to pretty much every comment.

Can't believe no-one has mentioned pictures with men holding fish though. WTF are they about?!

[firecracker69]

Pics of men holding scaly corpses are utterly repulsive. 🤮. I just don't get it. "Look what I can catch?" Yeah well piss off, you're not catching me.😂😂

[Wondersense]

"Are there any normal women out there?"
"Not into vanilla" - can't ejaculate unless I'm hurting you
"I don't like women who wear lots of makeup" - I'm controlling
"Need someone to keep me on my toes" - will treat you like shit and blame you for it

This

[Cherrygirl3]

User post image
I just saw this delight. 🤢

Oh Gary, what an absolute dick you obviously are

@Fairycake2 I was just about to mention the fish pics, you beat me to it....loads of those BLOODY FISH PICS

[Wondersense]

My additions -

"Not into vanilla" - you'll never have loving, intimate sex. I just like fetishy domination type sex (hey at least he gave a warning)
"I don't like women who wear lots of makeup" - I think I'm good enough to deserve a naturally beautiful woman who doesn't look tacky.........whilst I don't think you even deserve to see a profile photo of me
"Need someone to keep me on my toes" - I have no healthy idea or boundaries of how to treat people. I outsource that job to others. I like women to treat me mean from time to time, even though I might like to appear to be the dominant one outside of the bedroom in front of others.

[Buggedandconfused]

My ex is on POF right now, saying he’s ‘an easy going, decent guy’ - when we were together I found him on a sex site, he’d used escorts whilst away at work, was physically abusive to the extent the police were involved and is a massive narcissist.

I think every dating profile is a red flag now until I’ve been shown otherwise. Some men like my 6’6 abusive ex are just clever and lie initially.

[Redland12]

Again I must step in to defend OLD, I’m having an absolutely blast! I’m 62 but look about 45, fit, blonde, curvy which they guys go wild for. My age range is 30 -45. Not looking for a relationship just sex. The guys I meet are all like Adonis, I cannot believe my luck, I have met so many nice genuine guys, but that’s probably because I’m looking for sex only and there are no shortage of takers. Thank God! That’s all they want too so it’s a win win. I see them regularly. I’ve not met anyone like you guys are describing at all. Long may it continue!