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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Things you enjoy being single

120 replies

BooFuckingHoo2 · 29/07/2020 16:35

I’m struggling at the moment with feeling like I’m really missing out on a relationship, so I thought I would be nice/helpful if people can share what things they enjoy because of/in spite of being single.

Mine are:
Watching a good tv series with a glass of wine
Eating a whole box of chocolates without having to share Grin
Farting as much/as loudly as I want in my own home
Not having to clear up someone’s stuff
Things being where I left them

OP posts:
Giningit · 29/07/2020 16:38

Definitely miss not having time to yourself but that could also be because I’m a mother too. Lack of me time I guess. Need to make more of an effort to get any alone time. Grin at farting out loud though!

hilariousnamehere · 29/07/2020 16:41

Pretty much everything - I don't ever want another relationship, I'm far too happy 😂

Have a look for the Happy Singleton threads, there's some good stuff over there :)

My highlights:
Working, sleeping, chilling on my extremely night owl schedule
Not having to tidy up until and unless I want to
Eat what I want, when I want
Spend entire days reading in bed
Furnish and decorate my home how I like, no compromise
Actually just no compromises anywhere
Peace and quiet
No in laws
No arguments
No clinginess

I love it Grin

Lifeisabeach09 · 29/07/2020 16:50

-Pleasing ourselves (DD and I)
-Our home can be as messy/tidy as we like.
-We can watch what we want, when we want.
-I can go out and stay out as long as I like with (pre-Covid) without having to be accountable to a partner (obviously subject to childcare)
-My income is mine and I can do what I want with it.

Exactly as PP have said.

lmwghb · 29/07/2020 16:53

My separation is is still a bit raw from the DW and I miss the companionship but there are some things I enjoy.

Being able to starfish in the bed.
Tidying the house on my schedule.
Cooking what I want to cook (will DW eat this? no more).
Having full control of my wages again.

MizMoonshine · 29/07/2020 16:53

Not having to worry that you're getting cheated on.

Flyg · 29/07/2020 16:53

Absolutely everything. Im only 38 and already sure i would be happy single for the rest of my life.

PaperDreamsHoney · 29/07/2020 16:55

Please keep these coming!

WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo · 29/07/2020 16:57

Having no hulking great stinking gorging selfish drunken lazy male in my house. That's an absolute treat. My money, my time, my labour. Its fabulous.

Techway · 29/07/2020 17:02

Not having to consult another person for holidays, house stuff, going out.
Initially it was what I missed but now I LOVE that I am empowered.

Going to bed, getting up according to my body clock not someone else's. It means I am more rested so feel happier.

All of this took time but honestly once you get past the sadness of separating it really can be fantastic being single.

I genuinely can't think of one thing, perhaps life is slightly more expensive solo as living with someone does mean some costs are shared but the ability to spend myself it also liberating.

SoleBizzz · 29/07/2020 17:06

No man stress about anything at all. Bliss

ScarletMonkey · 29/07/2020 17:13

Not having to discuss what to watch on tv.
Being able to have a bottle of alcohol in the house and knowing it will be there when you fancy a drink.
Eating a whole pizza to yourself.
Being in control with my money and bills and not having to sub anyone.
No snoring.
Having what I fancy for dinner all the time, no one else to please.
No sport on the tv.
Being able to spread out on the bed.
No ones hot breath on me in the night.
Not worrying about what anyone is doing, if they are ok and what time they may come home

Flyg · 29/07/2020 17:14

@WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo

Having no hulking great stinking gorging selfish drunken lazy male in my house. That's an absolute treat. My money, my time, my labour. Its fabulous.
Ah yes, this. 100% this. Bliss.
Infullbloom · 29/07/2020 17:24

My independence mainly and the freedom to do what I want, go where I want, see who I want, eat what I want and not have to inform anyone of my plans or make any compromises. Oh and a clean and tidy house where I can also do as please without considering others. I have been singe by choice for a long time and honestly couldn't contemplate sharing my living space with another adult.

Lifeisabeach09 · 29/07/2020 17:43

No man stress about anything at all. Bliss.

^^This.
I only get grey hair from my DD now. Grin

CatRamsey · 29/07/2020 17:45

Just this morning I noticed how much toast crumbs there was in my butter and how many people would get annoyed at that, then I remembered it doesn't matter because there's no one else here to see it Grin.

I have spent most of today with my earphones in singing (very badly) at the top of my voice.

And I agree with being able to starfish in bed! (Whilst navigating legs around cats Grin)

BooFuckingHoo2 · 29/07/2020 18:20

Yes to the finances.

I’ve been single nearly two years and it still makes me happy that when I go out for a meal I only have to pay for one person and not two Grin

OP posts:
LizB62A · 29/07/2020 18:30

Not having to explain how to load the dishwasher. After 7 bloody years...
Not having to carry all the mental load for two people especially on holiday (e.g. missing the return Eurotunnel as he'd forgotten about the time difference - when it's easier to do it all yourself, why bother having that other person ?!)
Not feeling like I had an extra child to look after and think about.
Not feeling like I was his own personal Google (e.g. "I don't know what that white stuff is called that you sometimes get on bricks - why don't you google it....")

I absolutely love being single again and am planning to stay this way now.

WellThisWentWell · 29/07/2020 18:47

Lots of things, pretty much everythin TBH.
Best thing of being single for me?
I don’t have to have sex.

SoulofanAggron · 29/07/2020 18:58

What PP said- everything.

Freedom from having to put up with a man's moods.

Not having to have se,x (I can satisfy myself quite well with a Magic Wand toy) get naked in front of someone, perform sexual 'chores' like BJ's etc.

The complete relaxation of my own space.

mosquitofeast · 29/07/2020 19:00

@hilariousnamehere

Pretty much everything - I don't ever want another relationship, I'm far too happy 😂

Have a look for the Happy Singleton threads, there's some good stuff over there :)

My highlights:
Working, sleeping, chilling on my extremely night owl schedule
Not having to tidy up until and unless I want to
Eat what I want, when I want
Spend entire days reading in bed
Furnish and decorate my home how I like, no compromise
Actually just no compromises anywhere
Peace and quiet
No in laws
No arguments
No clinginess

I love it Grin

I love it too, I wouldn't have a relationship for a million pounds. I know this quite literally, as I was proposed to by a good friend multi millionaire about 5 years ago, and said no. Because no way would I give up my freedom and independent life style.

I'm the boss of myself and my home!

wobblywinelover · 29/07/2020 19:01

@WellThisWentWell

Lots of things, pretty much everythin TBH. Best thing of being single for me? I don’t have to have sex.
I second this. I don't miss sex at all and felt that most of the time I was having to do it to keep a partner happy. It's bliss going to bed without any risks of creepy hands under the duvet or bad morning breath or flippin snoring in the night.

I don't have to pick pants up off the floor, tidy up after anyone, endure boring sport on the tv or any more of them crap action boy films. I don't have to worry about my legs being perfectly shaved or having matching underwear on. I don't have to go on cringey dates or look out for red flags or be pissed off I haven't had a text reply from someone in a reasonable time.

There's just no appeal of a relationship for me at all, and nothing to be gained from having one.

Frownette · 29/07/2020 19:03

You can only be in a relationship if it's right for you.

Things I like about being solitary are that it's peaceful and I don't have to bother about my appearance too much.

Ceebeegee · 29/07/2020 19:12

Love this thread. It took my about 18 months after my marriage breakdown to really appreciate and enjoy the single life.
It's the pure freedom to do what you want, when you want.
And also the simple things - my food shop is exactly what I want, not having to consider someone else's pickyness.
TV all mine (no match of the day on my telly now!). Bed times and getting up times are all on my schedule. My choice of artwork on the wall. My choice of when and where I see my friends, without having to work around someone else. I can see my friends or do my hobbies as much as I like, without having to consider anyone else or feel guilty for doing so. Going on trips that I want to go on, not having to compromise.
No partner to argue with, no relationship problems, no one to stress you out, no dealing with inconsiderate or insensitive partners.
Housework is generally less because one less person to clean up after / washing pots / less laundry.
I will struggle to share a home in the future now.

Fairycake2 · 29/07/2020 19:21

Am loving this thread. I'm 9 months into separation and while there's lots im loving, I'm still struggling some days. It's nice to know it gets better as more time goes by

Daisy12Maisie · 29/07/2020 20:20

No one telling you you are over reacting when you are actually expressing a completely reasonable point.
The people around you (friends) say nice things eg you are a great mum, you look pretty. You know you are valued.
My friend said my ex didnt make me sparkle. My friends and my children make me sparkle.