Things you enjoy being single

[BooFuckingHoo2]

I’m struggling at the moment with feeling like I’m really missing out on a relationship, so I thought I would be nice/helpful if people can share what things they enjoy because of/in spite of being single.

Mine are:
Watching a good tv series with a glass of wine
Eating a whole box of chocolates without having to share
Farting as much/as loudly as I want in my own home
Not having to clear up someone’s stuff
Things being where I left them

95% of everything.

Eating what I please
Spending money on what i please
I can start a DIY project without a massive discussion.
Having lots of friends round without having to consider someone else's needs to be completely antisocial
Booking holiday without having to worry I'd it will meet someone else's criteria.
No in laws to deal with.
Being able to shop at lidl without feeling like a lesser human being
Singing without anyone listening.
Not having to actively, daily coparent although of course we do... but via whatsapp. It's brilliant!
Being able to enjoy my kids in a way that is unique to me, and them, without any conflict. This could change as the teen years advance.....
I LOVE being single actually., in many practical and emotional aspects.
The thing I miss is emotional closeness with a partner but my track record there has been patchy and my friends fulfil most of my needs. They are brilliant. For anything else I have a rabbit.

I mean a Rabbit 🤣 but also actually I have two little fluffy house rabbits, a cat; and a dog, all of which are lovely and very good at watching tv with me. And they don't care what is on...

More time, more money, more fun and more farting. Bliss.

Agree with all of the above.
Lived with an emotionally unstable, controlling alcoholic.
Now, the house is quiet and calm. My daughter and I live happily together. We have two dogs who sleep with me, we eat a mainly vegetarian diet, I have the house exactly how I want it, no endless washing of clothes and cleaning the toilet after he’s been. No one can boss me around. He kept it (the controlling, demanding behaviour) going for two years after we left but now is much easier to manage. Am free!

What I'm seeing a lot here is not women necessarily enjoying being single, which is a separate thing in itself, but more that they simply enjoy not being with their ex partner!

It's so nice to see lots of independent, happy, free people on here. I'm presuming we are mostly women but I think there are a few blokes too. Anyway, hurray for single life. So much better than unhappily paired life.
I'd scrimp any day to get by single, than live a comfy life in a dysfunctional couple.

I love single life so much.
Freedom from the moods, lies, negativity money grabbing and peculiar expectations.
Maybe when the kids leave I may feel differently, but it’s hard to imagine.

I hear ya, @Sally2791.

I'm also newly single and struggling but reading all your comments make me feel so much better xx

So much is good about living on my own.

For the first few months after splitting up with my ex, I was constantly pleasantly surprised by how money stayed in my account. It was amazing.

I like being the captain of my own ship, not having to compromise, doing my own thing.

I'm not entirely single, I have a boyfriend, but we see each other once a week or so and have no plans to "get serious". I'm a total commitment-phobe these days, tbh. I like dating and sex, I don't want sock-washing and, sharing.

@Sc1959, it takes a while. Singledom feels strange at first as you have to adopt new routines. I missed caring for another person but once I started to have time alone I realise how much I enjoy it.

You need to get through the separation, or divorce and grieve for losses but once through that you discover who you are again. I remember seeing others post about how happy they were single but I didn't feel it...I realise I had to rediscover myself, which sounds cliche but it's true.

I tried new activities and at first it was faking it but now I am genuinely happy with my life. I tried OLD and met some men but no one good enough to give up what I have now.

My advice, Give yourself time, get settled in your new life and try new activities. You will be amazed with what you can do when you only need to focus on yourself.

@Whathewhatnow I did a double take at the rabbit so glad you clarified the Rabbit's role and also the rabbits' roles

@Wondersense that perception comes up a lot in my circles - we've decided it's because it's hard to explain our happiness without reference to an ex / coupled life. Mainly because if you just say "I fucking love living on my own" and talk about all the things you do and love and enjoy, some fucker will always come out with "aw, you don't have to put a brave face on, your prince is just around the corner" < not envy.

And then I want to punch them and the conversation is ruined 😂

The world is set up for couples so they're an easy reference point when extolling the virtues of happy singlehood

Oops that was meant to be some fucker not an underlined one 😂

I have had boyfriends, fuck buddies and relationships since my marriage ended. But I have only lived with exH since my parents house.

7 years without living with a male 😄 I have a DD

I love it! Last two relationships ended because I looked at them and thought "I could never live with you" and I knew it was over

Still hopeful that one day it'll all fall into place but DEFINITELY DO NOT NEED IT!

Love the farting!
Love finding my snacks how I left them (DD has her own)
Love not having to buy presents for his side of the family
Love not being pushed into the next car/house/overly expensive holiday/ business adventure (he was not good with money)

God where do I start
So putting aside all the abuse bit (as fairly obviously no brainer !)

Don’t have to plan around someone
TV is mine , mine , mine
Don’t have to wash up or tidy
Cook what I want
Can change the house , decorate as I like
Can have people over and chat and relax
Can stay to a friend to sleep over , no one to disturb
Can wear what I want , look rough
No need to plan weekends
Can travel on my rather (very ) early anxious schedule
No need for ‘meals’ , can graze
The future seems more open . Maybe I’ll go to a place I always wanted to visit

I never enjoyed being single when I was younger , it’s nice to enjoy it now

I have aDP but lockdown has forced us to live together and I have fantasised about my previous single/living alone life a lot because:
-everything pp said about freedom.
-my back currently aches from picking stuff off the floor constantly.
-my head hurts from the constant mental load of thinking for two people as he doesn’t.
-the amount of chores I do has gone up significantly-shouldn’t it have gone down with two adults in the house???!
-I’m not able to see friends as much and miss them.
-I miss being able to be ugly, wear really horribly unflattering but comfortable clothes, no make up and hair scraped into practical bun.
-agree with pp about gas and electric bills-another symptom of the mental load again??
-because it’s my house I get constant questions ‘what do you want to do about this?’ (Small piece of rubbish for example) makes me feel like his mum and my vagina seals a bit more closed every time.
Thank you for allowing this rant and hopefully will make you feel better, I can assure you the grass is definitely not greener! As my hairdresser told me, never live with a man.
If we split up I’ve vowed to:
a) never live with anyone ever again,
b) buy the massive jar of ‘nutoka’ from Aldi and eat it all with a spoon, and
c) take a variety of ill-advised and voracious lovers who will visit once every two weeks then leave me alone.

I find men very expensive to feed and house. More food, more beer (even if light drinkers) more hot water/gas more petrol. They're usually bigger, so bigger house, bigger car, bigger airline seats (which you have to do x2 or sit separately). If living financially as a couple, it's all effectively split 50/50, so you end up subsidising their basic costs.

Now I can have a smaller house in a better neighbourhood, smaller but better car, same holidays but cheaper and more often, and much lower cost of basic living.

Plus the lack of abuse is lovely.

I’m newly single and scared as hell. This thread helps especially this comment:

I never enjoyed being single when I was younger , it’s nice to enjoy it now

Anytime I was single in the past, I felt lacking as though the big gap to fill was my single status. No more! I’d love to be in a healthy, happy, stimulating relationship but I’m going to prioritise myself this time. I’m going to concentrate on enjoying being single.

I do this all the time in front of STBEXH. I didn’t look ugly, just eh ... not my best! I’m sure you don’t look ugly.

I miss being able to be ugly, wear really horribly unflattering but comfortable clothes, no make up and hair scraped into practical bun

What others have said, as in doing what you want.

Spending your time with people you like (eg not having to put up with Christmas at the in-laws or dinner parties with couples you loathe)

@kittenpeak

No judgement on when I get up, go to bed or eat crisps for dinner.
Not having to check in with anyone if I decide to go out after work.
Being able to do everything on my timetable.
Being able to harmlessly flirt.

I'd be rubbish as a partner now having been alone and happy with that for so long.

Anotherfreshstart

Hang on in there . If I am being really honest I think on some level I wanted children more than a man
Of course not all my exes were abusive , but the drama ! The heartbreak !
Will he text ?
Why hasn’t he called ?
Has he gone off me ?
Who’s that girl he is talking to ?
Is he being off with me ?
Am I pretty enough , think enough
I think I’ve gone off HIm
Etc etc
Etc etc

So when people say ‘oh are you going to try online dating ‘ I’m like

For me it’s like asking ‘would you like to have another root canal’

Freedom and independence. Time to pursue my interests and hobbies. I often think how incredibly lucky I am to be a woman in a place and time where single life can be a joyful and happy experience, rather than a pitiable state of poverty and need. We don't need to rely on men financially, socially, culturally, sexually or emotionally and that is a great thing.

If I ever have another relationship with a man, it will not be a live-in relationship, and there certainly won't be any marriage or financial entanglement. I value my freedom too much.

We don't need to rely on men financially, socially, culturally, sexually or emotionally and that is a great thing

Hear hear to this! This is what I am most proud of in my life right now. Yes, friends of mine have nice relationships but they’re financially dependent on their DH’s. I’m not dependent on anyone else for anything and the freedom of that is exhilarating! I may have a lot less than they do but it’s ALL MINE