Things you enjoy being single

[BooFuckingHoo2]

I’m struggling at the moment with feeling like I’m really missing out on a relationship, so I thought I would be nice/helpful if people can share what things they enjoy because of/in spite of being single.

Mine are:
Watching a good tv series with a glass of wine
Eating a whole box of chocolates without having to share
Farting as much/as loudly as I want in my own home
Not having to clear up someone’s stuff
Things being where I left them

The peace.
The tidiness and not having to conform to my exh's traditional views that women should do everything, house, children, shopping, cooking ...
No mental load when resenting doing (see above)
NO MOTHER IN LAW (bliss)
The most beautiful bedroom in the world - fairy lights, nice linen, beautiful perfume smell plus starfishing and staying in bed all Saturday morning without having to have sex
Clean toilets
Being able to eat food with my fingers in front of what I want to watch on the tele.
Falling asleep on the sofa in front of Real Housewives after a hard day then deciding just want toast for tea.

I would like some male company sometimes but after a 30 year marriage (finished 3 years ago) I'm in no rush. He'd need to be amazing ... he'd need to be able to cook and clean and tidy up like a grown up without needing to be asked. Be clean and not snore and smell nice and be generous and not pervy. I still wouldn't give up my own space though, I'll never live with another man again. I think if you do, you just fall into the same trap of womens work ... I don't think he exists tbh or if he does I don't think I'll find him. Oh well

Been less for me finding myself single so very raw but
Being able to watch box sets in the middle of the night
To be free to speak to my friend again
Choosing to skip dinner if I am not hungry
Not treading on egg shells in my own home
Drink wine without being judged

Was meant to say Less than a month

Meadow It's early days pet. I felt very strange and lonely in the beginning but then I realised that you can feel lonelier in a bad relationship than if you are alone. It takes time but as you gather your own stuff around you and reconnect with your friends you'll find you'll start to relax and feel content and peaceful.

Thank you French Makes it worse that I moved to France to be with him and he has dumped me so very isolated. Don;t know a soul

Decorating the way I want to
Spending money without feeling judged
Not washing someone else's dishes
A sense of calm and peace I never had in my relationship
My favourite thing to do on a Saturday night is eat a takeaway in bed, drink some wine and watch a cheesy movie.

In the early days I felt so lonely, but now I relish that loneliness because it is freedom. Someone said being Captain of your own ship but they were wrong. It’s being admiral of my own fleet!

Every decision (and associated consequence) is mine and mine alone. All the crazy judgements and second guessing his view of how he might think other people would think. Not surprising that I tied myself in knots trying to get decisions “right”. I’m now decisive and get my shit done in a way that amazes me.

And the wife work! Amazing how my life admin is easy and under control these days, even wrangling a DS16!

Get up when you want, not have to justify when going out with friends, trying to organise date nights if both working or they have childcare duties.
If they have got kids then spending my days off down some animal adventure park, legoland or peppa pig world when I would much rather go somewhere adults only without children that's if their kid does not become sick on date night in which case then have to stay in watching x factor in which case I'd much rather be out with friends then sat on a sofa with partner and their kid, having to eat out at a hungry horse or other chain restaurant because it has a kids play area and eat crap food and listen to there's and others kids running around screaming and crying, book holidays outside of term time not having to have a week down butlins in August for over £1000, can go on cruises/festivals/weekends away whenever I want. Not having to deal with the dramas of the ex. Then getting called selfish because I won't put up / make all the sacrifices / be second when I'm treating them as my no 1 with all the hassle the relationship is with their kids.
Only need to buy meal for one/tickets for one/shopping for one.
I could go on and on, basically single life seems to be a alot better then in a relationship at the mo.

I’ve had to deal with a fair few crisis as a single mum , things breaking , lockdown , sickness , mental health etc
And it’s made me realise how strong I am
I work Full time , I raise my kids , I support them 100% financially

My self esteem is so much better than when I was putting on a brave face all the time

I just saw an AIBU post about a woman whose husband is giving her a hard time because he didn't buy milk when he went to the shops, and honestly I have to say I find that kind of thing absolutely intolerable. I could not bear to live with someone who can't manage such basic things. Worse, who then blames me for his failure.

It's easy sometimes to feel lonely but things like that just make me feel grateful that I don't have to carry another person through life. It has to be an equal partnership - but in so many relationships men just relax and do this helpless act. If you are really so helpless that you can't buy a pint of milk (pick up your socks, put the washing on, rinse the bath, etc etc) then I don't think you're a mature enough adult for me to want to have sex with you! I certainly can't rely on you, and you would just be dragging me down.

The single life has its drawbacks but that stuff always reminds me to be so very grateful for what I don't have!

I’m moving out of STBEXH’s tomorrow & I need this thread more than ever. Give me strength.

@Anotherfreshstart good luck love!

Reading all the awful threads here on relationships forum about women emotionally/financially/physically stuck in terrible relationships & breathing a sigh or relief that you’re not trapped in a toxic situation.

@Anotherfreshstart

I’m moving out of STBEXH’s tomorrow & I need this thread more than ever. Give me strength.

Good luck! You will soon be breathing the fresh air of freedom

Stay strong 💪
The end is always hideously awful
Hang tight xxxx

Ohhh there’s lots

Total freedom to spend your own leisure time as you wish
No obligation or expectation to call/videochat or see someone else
No compromise on what to do at a weekend
Time with the kids is happy and unaffected by others moods/needs/interference
Inner peace at loving a calm boring life

The only negative I’ve found is less disposable income due to paying for everything yourself rather than sharing but that’s a small price to pay.

I'm into journalling at the moment, sprawling out and writing very private things. Not something I would as easily have as much space and time to do whenever I want to with an OH.

@Thisisworsethananticpated @vikingwife @queenofknives

Thanks so much for your comments. I had no idea how hard it’d be...
heartbreaking ... but I also feel a sense of hope & relief.

I'm 2 and a half years widowed now.
The best things all have a certain theme...

Having my bed to myself.
Having my bedroom to myself.
Knowing that nobody else has been in my bedroom.
Hanging pictures in my bedroom because they please me and nobody else. And moving them when I feel like it.
Tidying my bedroom when I want to and knowing it will be tidy or messy only because of my actions.
Having one, two, three or four pillows as I feel like.
Sleeping really deeply because nobody is snoring, coughing, shifting about or going to the loo next to me.

Having breakfast in bed if I feel like it and not having to thank anybody else for it. Or not having breakfast if I don't want to.
Having ALL the bedroom storage to myself.

If I can't sleep, turning the light on and reading if I want to.
Coughing at night if I want to because it won't disturb anybody.

I always said, after my first marriage, that I would never share a room with a man again. DH was absolutely lovely and we only had two bedrooms anyway, so of course it only lasted about a month and we shared a bed until he died. But sleeping alone is joy to me and I can't imagine ever giving that up.

@Anotherfreshstart good luck!! You'll look back in a surprisingly short space of time and wonder why you didn't do it sooner - welcome to the other side

Admiral of my own fleet YES!!

@PermanentTemporary

Ah there is a bliss in having one’s own bedroom. When my ex and I went in to separate rooms, I felt so relieved and happy. Enjoy your lovely bedroom.

@hilariousnamehere

Thank you very much! I was so terrified of leaving and it took me so long. I can’t believe I’ve actually done it!

@barbarahunter Skidmarks on sheets?! 🤮

Having my bed to myself. I'm alright sleeper and the joy of not having to wear ear plugs to get a semi decent nights sleep is immense.

Aarrgghh light sleeper that should say.

No shaving nor waxing nor holding my tummy in
No being lied to
No frustration trying to be heard and understood
No gut punch realizations
Just pleasing myself and my kids
No big compromises
No pressure to be ‘on’