It has taken a lot to come back here, read my old posts and reflect on the last 5 years but I want to write my story in some way and my mumsnet threads were my journal through the early parts of my journey.
I'm not sure if anyone will remember me, but reading all the kind messages and how invested people were in my situation makes me feel awful that I disappeared.
I have been in NZ for almost 7 years now, and my daughter is 17 and my son is 13.
Just in case anyone is around and interested, nothing went as I had hoped. I filed for relocation but withdrew after 4 mums I met via Globalarrk, a charity for stuck mums, lost their cases. I foolishly thought that now I wasn't trying to relocate, the rest would go ok, but of course it didn't.
I have now been the victim of post separation abuse for 6+ years. Him and his family have stalked and harassed me including breaking in to my home (it was the family home but I was living there) and taking my stuff, catfishing me on social media and Tinder. As recently as April his brother took photos of me at a concert I was at and sent photos mocking me on a family chat that my kids are on.... He uses child support to financially abuse me and, despite being on circa $200k pa and I had just been made redundant, he got 60% of relationship property. There have been constant legal matters initiated by him.
He continues to try and obstruct travel to the UK including twice withholding my son on the day of travel. The second time was last June, the first time my son would have seen our UK family since my dad died a few months earlier. He 'kidnapped' him from school, hid him at his work and when I went to try and get him his brother assaulted me and my ex lied to the police, telling them I did not have permission to take him. It was too late to take legal measures. While I was in the UK he filed an unsuccessful protection order blaming me as the perpetrator. When I got home I filed a successful without notice application for his travel breach. He also threw our daughter our for 'taking sides' and wanting to spend more time with me. She has been with me full time for over a year.
It is with some irony that we are now in court because he has filed a without notice to take our son on holiday in term time and in my time. While not travelling in the school holidays. Like in the UK, high schools
Unfortunately he has a pet Lawyer for Child (L4C) who has clear bias. Another entire thread on this. It's actually farcical now.
Most of all, I don't understand this. As he told my daughter, 'I have won everything, relocation, finances and week on week off'. He has a new partner, his job is going well. But he is still vengeful.
In 'you couldn't make it up' news, our home was flooded in the 2023 Auckland floods and with no where else to go, the children and I had to live
So that's a pandemic, floods, please not the bloody earthquake.... I'll take a plague of locusts over that.
In good news, I am just coming to the end of a two year social media marketing diploma and after a horrific two years of being bullied at my old job, have just started a really cool little social media job. I have a new home that I bought outright with the help of my parents and the children are thriving and gorgeous. DD is thinking about studying in the UK and DS worships her so hoping he will follow.
If anyone remembers me I'm happy to answer questions!! xx