Getting my life back

[Witchesandwizards]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3877702-Just-need-to-share-no-solution?watched=1&msgid=98693727#98693727

The next chapter starting on a slightly more positive note. x

You are the poster I've thought of most Witches, my heart ached for you with everything you were going through and it doesn't sound like things have got any easier.
I'm relieved you and the kids are surviving though and hopefully when your youngest is old enough to make the choice you can all come home ♥️

Thank you for the update, OP - I too have often thought about you and your situation.

Your children have now spent their formative teenage years in NZ, wow! Do they remember London fondly? I hope for your sake they do choose to go to the UK to give you that option.

Sorry to hear about your dad.

I've also often wondered how you are getting on, there's a couple of posters I'll never forget and you are certainly right up there! I remember being utterly horrified and sick to my stomach at what he put you through, and clearly still does!

I know your experience has been put out there as a cautionary tale many times in the intervening years, when posters are asking about moving to a different country, so it's great to hear you are still surviving, even if he's not given up yet.

I'm delighted to hear your daughter is doing well and if she goes to the UK, hopefully your son will follow when he's 18 and you can all leave this debacle behind you and not before time!

You have been so strong, I'm so sorry to hear that your dad passed away, that must have been devastating... you should be so proud of yourself putting the kids first and doing what you had to to get them through this.

Clearly your daughter is seeing through her dad and hopefully your son will too in due course. Please keep us updated, I'm delighted to hear from you and that you are coping and trying to make the best out of this awful time.

I have also thought about you often and wondered how things are now. So sorry he's been such an utter twat, but ultimately he is damaging his relationship with the kids. I do hope that both of them will want to go back to the UK and you can close this horrific chapter.

I'm particularly sad to hear that your dad passed away. So sorry. I know you were close to your parents and this must be heartbreaking.

I'm sending you big hugs and I really hope your twat of an ex just backs the fuck off. He is a vile vile person, as are his family. The apples didn't fall far from the tree. Thank god your kids have you

Thanks guys 😘

I will definitely go home if they go, and probably if one goes (and visit the other regularly/pay for their trips to the UK)

While I have built a life that functions and is 'structurally' sound, I don't have an emotionally sound life that will withstand growing old here if that makes sense.
I have friends, good friends, but it's not the same as the layers of friends I have where I lived until 48.

I know I was in the depths of depression and trauma last time, but my opinion of Auckland remains the same - people are friendly but don't necessarily want to be your friend. Especially in their 40s and 50s. And I have tried and continue to do so.

There's generally no Friday drinks culture at work and anyway, I have only worked for small, family businesses because that's mostly what exists here. Coming from big London ad agencies where I met all my non-mum London friends, its a bit of a culture shock.

It's unlikely both will stay as the graduate job situation here is worse than the rest of the world because NZ is so tiny. And DD, who at 17 has only had one kiss and doesn't like any of the boys in Aucks, wants a British bf (preferably Jude Bellingham 😂). I have applied for citizenship in case they do stay though - it will allow me to live in Aussie if they move here which is a likely outcome.

So pleased to her from you @Witchesandwizards . I followed your story and glad you are hanging in there. Your ex is such an unbelievable twat, it would be karma if both the kids and you ended up back in the uk. I shall keep my fingers crossed for you.