I don’t deserve it, but can I have a handhold please?

[Aichpeel]

Please help me to be strong.

I’ve had an affair, I’ve ended it, and now I need to be strong and stay no contact. I’m anxious, and very sad and overwhelmingly guilty.

Thank you.

What would you like a handhold for?

Who had the partner? You or affair person?

Why did you end it?

How does your husband feel at the moment?

Both married.
Ended because I realised what a awful person I was being.
But I miss the affair partner so much.

Husband doesn’t know.

I'd get yourself some counselling.

You’ll get no sympathy on here. Surely you knew that?

Children involved OP?

How did it start? And what was so bad with your own marriage?

I am, have had 1 session so far. That’s what helped me end it.

Do the kindest thing you can and leave your poor partner

You've ended it and the golden rule is only one relationship at a time. So if you are still tempted, end your marriage first. I reckon you are going to feel awful guilt at what you did, panic about being found out and sadness at the end of a relationship that you cannot openly grieve for. You won't get judgement from me.
So, why did you have an affair? I

No judgement from me but you need to figure out why you had the affair and if you don't love your husband anymore, do the right thing and end it so he can move on in time

None of us are perfect, although that brigade will soon be here to pile on, so please be prepared.

Presumably you had your reasons, and they need to be addressed for you to continue in your marriage/relationship. Or if they are your issues you should let your partner go.

I’m not condoning your affair, but at least you’ve done the right thing by ending it.

Be honest with you dh. Otherwise the rest of your life will be a lie. Then accept the consequences of your actions.

Handhold from me. No caveats.

Do you want to continue with your marriage?

What caused your affair to begin? I think you'll need to speak to someone professional because suddenly not having those needs fulfilled will be very difficult.

You'll be okay, the pain will pass in a few weeks or months. Keep yourself busy but don't suppress the pain, so cry it out and write things down. Be thankful for the fun you had and the good times. If you love him, you want him to be happy.

Hand hold from me, OP. No judgement here. My advice would be not to tell your husband if it crosses your mind it might make you feel better. This is yours to bear but guilt gets people nowhere ime. Be strong.

what an odd thing to ask for some stranger on the internet to type the word "hand hold" to somehow make you feel better about cheating on your husband and still emotionally doing so

Be honest with your husband and let him decide whether he still wants to be with you.

Of course no-one is perfect, but mistakes have consequences.

You should tell your husband, he deserves to no, and just because you've ended it doesn't change that. You obviously aren't happy anyway if you have been having an affair, it's kinder for you both.

I feel for your husband. No one deserves to be treated that way.