Wendy's back and in my face: What would you do?

[FeministEndorsingWomensSpaces]

Long time lurker on MN and it's been really helpful for the situation which I've been through. I've been Wendied over the last 2 years ... it has hurt like hell at times (suicidal moments, anxiety disorder and depression) but I'm almost out the other side and now have medication and a great therapist and I have done a LOT of work on myself. Current challenge is that we live in an Expat community in the Middle East and I have just found out that Wendy plus Friend (and yes, I did introduce them to each other) are going to be flying out together on the same flight as me and my family. They are leaving for good. Neither with have DH with her but will have their 3 kids each. I return next school year. Wendy has gone silent, not even telling me who told her about our flights. Friend is turning into a bit of a 'flying monkey' and messaging to say "it'll be a party xx". An upgrade to business class is too expensive but seats are available on the flight the following day . My H and kids are supportive and know the situation. I am done with faking that things are OK just to keep up appearances, so the one thing it won't be is a party. What would you do: (a) ignore the whole thing and binge watch Netflix; (b) take the game to them; (c) change flights to the next day and chill ?

Are both of them leaving forever? I’d change the flights. Or you could pretend to take a sleeping pull and tell your kids that they’re looking after them for the rest of the flight while you nap.

*pill, obvs...

Not sure what he gone on with you and your (ex)friends. But it sounds a bit too high-schoolish for me.
Flights in the time of corona won’t be a big party, so not interacting much won’t be an issue.
But given that you seem to think it’s important - change the flights?

Change the flights. Immediately. The problem goes away and you won't spend the whole time winding yourself up.

If it’s not too expensive I’d change the flight ( or pick the seats behind them and kick the back of the seats for the entire flight).

I’d change the flight.

Change the flights, it neutralises the problem. Don’t tell anyone though so they wonder where you were!

Change flights. End of hassle x

I’d change the flight too if cheap to do so.

Although I don’t understand why you haven’t blocked Wendy and flying monkey?

Change the flights. And maybe consider stop calling her a Wendy.

What is being wendied?

You call her what you want OP.
And I agree, if easy and cheap enough then change flights.
You will worry otherwise and be stressed on your day of travel which is never great at the best of times.
Take the worry out of it all.
Once it's all changed, chill out and binge watch Netflix!
Sorry they did this to you OP.
But you are coming out of the other side now so don't do anything that will set you back.

I'd change the flights. And not even bother to reply to either of them.

Sorry you've had a hard time. Motto: just do exactly what means that you have a peaceful time, and what they think of it or how they might respond to it is of No Fucking Interest.

What the fuck is a Wendy?

Change the flights but don't tell them. They'll be so excited about all the spiteful things they can do and it'll ruin their trip to find you're not there.

Take the next day flight, and forget about them.

Being wedied is being pushed/frozen out of a social group by another woman, often one that has been introduced at a later date that other members of the group.

@GreyShadow http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amibeing_unreasonable/2856311-What-does-it-mean-if-you-are-wendied

@HollowTalk's suggestion is perfect.

OP they sound like absolute arseholes. I'm really sorry you've gone through this and well done for working on yourself, it sounds as though you're doing the best you can.

OP you need to change flights. Don't tell them that you are changing flights, just let them get on the flight and see you're not on it. Then block them and move on.

Next time this happens and there will be a next time, get out of the situation and move on. Don't get involved. Friends don't just abandon you because someone shiny moves into the group. Friends don't listen to gossip about you or join in. People who do that aren't friends and you are better off away from them. Cut and run. You're better off alone and rocking it than with a bunch of rocks trying to pull you under.

Yeah, change flights and don’t tell them.

@GreyShadow

I didn't know either

Sounds like none of them are worth you getting upset over, real adults don't act like schoolkids

Change the flights and cancel the cheque.

I'd change the flight and fail to mention the swap.

Would you have to pay out the whole fare again to change? If it won't cost you anything/not a massive amount, I'd definitely change.